Suiting Up
by Anime-Ronin
Summary: YAHF: Metroid meets the Hellmouth, but with a twist. Multiple crossovers. Finally, it has returned!
1. Default Chapter

Suiting Up

Author: Anime Ronin

Rating: R

Summary: YAHF – Metroid meets the Hellmouth, but with a twist.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: The armor and character used in this fic is not canon nor is it probably possible – I'm doing this off of an old Nintendo Power comic I found when cleaning out some old junk in my old room and it has that not only Samus Aran has Power Armor. Also, if anyone gets the chance, pick up the magazine Play Magazine Presents: Girls Of Gaming Vol. 2 – page has a pic of Samus that is … (drool), and also, two pages later, there is a pic of Sonja Belmont.

And Now On With The Fic …

Xander pulled back from the table he had set up in his garage to perform this rather delicate operation and, with a tired smile that was hidden by welding mask, he pulled off said mask and took in his masterpiece and homage to both a great game and the memory of a fallen brother. He and Jessie, after playing the game for what seemed like entire summers, had come up with the idea of going as counterparts of the main character and, as such, had begun to both develop, design and build their Halloween costumes – Jessie would be the focal point, as he generally was the more personable of the two of them, while Xander himself would stand back in the shadows, playing the part of the one you never saw until it was far too late, and at the end of the fight the two of them would be the only two people still standing … only now that was only another dream, with Jessie having been destroyed by his own stake after being turned over a year before.

Xander put the cans of paint down and pulled off his gloves, the fans in the area keeping the air circulating and fumes from overtaking him, and smiled as he stepped back – it was made of plastic, rubber and some metal bits, painted black as a predominate color and a gunmetal gray color as a secondary color, but the visor he had installed was blood red; at the shoulder it was nearly as tall as a man, just he right height as him, the power cannon arm was working perfectly with the pieces that hinged out to let the 'missiles' fly, and under the right wrist, a piece he had been modifying since he had seen one of the new games with the new equipment, hence his having to re-paint the costume slightly in places. It was fortuitous, to say the least, that Snyder had wrangled himself, Buffy and Willow into taking a bunch of kids out that evening, despite the fact that he had outwardly groaned about it – this gave him the perfect reason to pull this costume out of the mothballs as he dredged through his memory to remember his character even as he went to get the rest of his stuff ready.

Even as he walked up the stairs, he cackled – Power Armor on the Hellmouth was stretching out his luck, but as it was supposed to be dead (opposed to being undead) on Halloween, Xander felt it was going to be okay to go as Samus Aran's old partner, Marcus Knight.

(Summers Residence)

Buffy gaped at her best guy friend, whom she had once called 'one of the girls' and from her side she could feel the blush of Willow from under her sheet – dressed in a futuristic-looking armor of black and gray, with a blood-red visor and an authentic-looking gun on his arm, Xander was dressed like the character from the Metroid games and … and he looked good in it, too! "Wow, Xander – when did you come up with this?"

Before Xander could answer, though, Willow squealed and rocketed forwards, so fast so that she left her sheet behind and revealed her slightly medieval leather catsuit and, much to Buffy's confusion, two sharp plastic knives tucked in the back of her belt, and slammed into Xander's armored chest, wrapping her arms around him and … crying? Buffy blinked and, indeed, Willow was crying as Xander struggled with something for a second before the armor split open at the sides and top, revealing that he was wearing a tank top … and little else besides a pair of gym shorts as he enfolded Willow into a hug, one that made his arms and the muscle there ripple nice, almost yummy, way. Buffy stood there, dressed as a noblewoman, more than a little uncomfortable with her mother looking on pitifully as Xander held a crying Willow, mumbling soothing things to her through her hair and stroking her back as Willow said something about 'Jessie', which brought it all back to Buffy – Xander had told her the whole story behind his first vamp kill, his best friend for as long as he could remember, and initially Buffy had felt very little in the way of remorse ('a vamp, is a vamp, is a vamp,' as she had once put it) the fact she was standing in a rather ridiculous dress FOR a vampire … well, it made her feel a touch more than sorrow as Willow stopped crying and Xander pulled the armor on back where it was supposed to be, sealing it back up as her mother handed Willow a tissue and took her away to fix her makeup … and had the sheet with her.

"So, Buffster, I take it Willow hasn't talked you out of going in that … thing there?" She jerked her head over to Xander, who was eyeing her somewhat distastefully as his voice was slightly echoing from inside of his helmet, something easily rectified when he pushed said helmet off on it's back hinge, "You ready to go?"

"As soon as you tell me what that was all about, and this is art!" She ran her hands up and down the dress, which she had been forced to squeeze into despite the fact that she was short and skinny, "And then you can tell me just where you got the idea for that costume!"

"I got the idea for the costume a long time back, but I had to modify it with some stuff I got at Ethan's today, but as for what that was all about … Jessie and I were going to go as twins in suits like this, but, well, you know what happened." He shrugged in his armor and looked decidedly uncomfortable talking about it, "So, what did you blackmail Willow with to get her into that costume?"

Buffy looked affronted, "What, can I not do something like that without resorting to blackmailing people?"

Xander arched an eyebrow, "When you wanted a night off to go moon over Deadboy last week, you used some pictures taken with Willow's camera that had Giles using a computer and threatened to send them to that hot computer teacher, Miss Calendar."

Buffy stepped back and crossed her arms, sniffing somewhat disdainfully, "Can't prove it." Xander gave her a steady look that surpassed, not, blew away Willow's 'Resolve Face' and she caved like a pile of tribbles, whatever they were, "Fine – I told her that if she dressed up like this, she might get a look in with you."

Xander blinked and then shook his head, smiling sadly, "She's STILL trying to get me? Buffy, I really don't want to break her heart, but she's like a sister to me, the both of you are – incest isn't my thing … unless it was Pam Anderson and she was my sister."

"Ewww!" He grinned unrepentedly at her and she sighed, "How long have you noticed her … attraction?"

"Consciously? About a year or so now, but I guess I've always known on some level." Buffy could see the pain in his eyes even as she heard her mother and Willow coming towards them, "She's going to make someone very happy one day, and if they ever hurt her let God or the Devil get them before I do."

"Before _WE_ do, you mean, right?" Buffy smiled, thinking that he was doing his 'big brother protector' thing, but the flat mask he wore and the look in his eyes told her that, if Willow was ever hurt, he'd kill the person responsible, "Right?"

"Ready, Buffy?" Her mom came out and Willow looked presentable even as Xander shut his helmet back into place – Buffy nodded and the three of them went off towards the school, but the look in Xander's eyes stuck in her mind and made her wonder just what her Xander-shaped friend was really capable of.

(Later – Streets of Sunnydale)

Marcus groaned, his head pounding and his body feeling like someone had let a ship land on him several times before they realized he was there. He opened his eyes and saw his visor screen was not only fully operational, but also showing that he wasn't where he was supposed to be – he had just gotten back from a survey mission on a remote outpost near XL-143, a rocky and unforgiving country, but had taken along his pet project in the PA-SU mark 1, a powered armor stealth suit that had a lot of the bells and whistles of Aran's hyped-up armor, but in the compact form of a standard suit. Sitting up, he saw that he was not on the space station he'd docked at for refueling, but rather … somewhere he didn't remember – the suit's reading showed a nitrogen oxygen atmosphere compatible with human life, pollutants in concentrations of post-industrial, pre-mass-space flight worlds, and tons of life forms around that didn't register outside of the odd human.

"Well, this isn't good." He raised his arm cannon, after sending up an automated radio transmission that said 'hey, I'm here', and then tapped in the code to unlock it and was pleasantly surprised when it worked – he'd been having problems with his armor unlocking the numerous functions he'd built into it, but now that he was in a possibly hostile situation, it decided to work for him, but only to the extent that he was able to bring the Power Beam and Charge Beam, not to mention the Grapple Beam, on-line, the Ice, and Wave functions staying stubbornly non-operational, "When this is over, I'm going to reprogram you with a Power Bomb, I swear it."

There was a screech of anger behind him and, without hesitation, he spun and put four point-blank rounds into a … thing that knocked it on it's ass and out cold, but not dead, which suited him just fine with the energy readings he was getting on his scanners now – wild, undulation, chaotic readings that were warping the readings of other things and altering everything, "What the hell is going on here?"

As per normal, his suit and computer didn't respond, but he heard a scream of pure anger and turned to see a rather pale redhead in tight black leather, whirling around with a pair of knives, slicing and dicing the things that were ganging up on her with a fury that, were it not such a dangerous proposition, would be a serious turn on, in his own opinion – she was put together very nicely, the leather straining to keep her chest from being exposed and her backside from putting a full moon over the town, but even as she came to a stop he noticed that her green eyes were flashing, there was red blood on her lips … and fangs in her mouth, which brought his cannon up to bear even as she took a step back and asked, well, demanded, "Who are you?"

"Marcus, Marcus Knight. Who, might I ask, are you?"

Her eyes narrowed slightly and, as if in a sign of peace, she lowered he knives from their 'at ready' position in front of her down to her sides, "Rayne, Blood Rayne. Where are we?"

He shrugged, which his armor didn't allow much of, "Your guess is as good as mine, sweets, but I'm getting some seriously strange readings on my scanners."

She looked him up and down, a thrill of both caution and pleasure running through his spine as she did, but then she frowned, "You're not from around here, are you."

"Nope, wherever 'here' is, it isn't the space station I was at about twenty minutes ago." Anything else he was going to say was cut off by a shrill scream that made Rayne wince in pain and himself jerk at, the audio receptors of his suit picking them up quite clearly; as one they turned and saw a woman, dressed in a frilly monstrosity of a dress, running away, or at least trying to but only succeeding in tripping over the front hem of said dress, from some more little 'demons', as his mind had taken to calling them, screaming for help, which made him sigh, "Should we help her?"

Rayne's face scrunched up in an overly cute yet amazingly beautiful way, "Well, I'd normally say no, but for some reason my gut is telling me we have to help her."

"Yeah, mine too." He turned to her and held out his hand, "Shall we?"

A small smile graced her lips as she reached out and took his hand, "Lets." They both turned and, dropping their held hands in some reluctance, started running after the stumbling woman, at which point Marcus decided to try out another function of his experimental armor, the stealth shield.

The idea had come after seeing a small cloaking device bend the waves of light that make things visible around a small apple, making it vanish from sight but not from feel or sensors, and that had gotten his mind to turning as he was still in the development of his armor – if he could incorporate that technology into his armor, it would become a perfect reconnaissance or covert operations tool, netting him thousands and millions of credits in the process, but the idea and the reality were two separate things. Once the technology had been developed for suit use, he had spent months of slaving together an interface unit that was linked to the suit's power supply, which was the only way it was going to work, and after much tinkering, re-wiring and going through every curse word he could think of (which happened to be enough to fill a small book) twice, he had gotten it work, but not without cost – with the cloaking device activated, the suit lost the Energy that it used to keep the internal shields and life support mechanisms activated at the rate of nearly quadruple that of a normal suit, meaning that a power cell that would last nearly six hours in a normal suit would only a little over an hour and a quarter, but after some more tinkering and technology development, he was able to double the amount of time that could be used for the cloak, cutting the cell drain in half to a total of three hours. His direct superiors were very aware of how he could get when he was tinkering, which explained why his suit had so many other features, like double the normal jumping ability, a larger supply of missiles, the other beams and the full compliment of visor technology, but they also knew he knew when enough was enough, which is why he only put this into a normal suit of armor, knowing that anyone who upgraded it to a Varia or Gravity Armor setting would be either unstoppable or never get it to work. With that in mind, he triggered the activation sequence in the armor and smiled as his readouts showed complete cloaking was engaged, that he had enough Energy in his tanks to last him another ten hours of cloaking before it would automatically shut off, and that Blood Rayne had 'eeped' quietly off to one side as he faded from view.

Without any thought he raised his cannon and triggered it to fire off several shots, something he had never actually tried to do in the past, but he was both unpleasantly shocked and very annoyed when his computer gave him the electronic raspberry, bringing up a small note in the bottom corner of his display that the energy drain of firing energy blasts while cloaked would fry four of the seven key components that made up a working Power Blaster. This caused Marcus to sigh in a frustrated tone of voice and slam his cannon over the head of one of the things as Rayne went off on another one, slashing it's throat and sucking the spurts of red blood that came out before spitting in disbelief.

"They're human! I don't know how, but I know human blood and this is it!"

"Well, shit!" He backhanded another one that was looking right through him and knocked it out, "You know, with as much good as is coming out from this test run of my armor, this blows!"

"I … I feel nothing, and who is this unseemly shade that speaks without being seen." Marcus turned to see the brunette lady in the frilly dress was looking around, a confused expression on her face as she waved her hand around until he took pity on her and deactivated his cloak, which caused both her and Rayne to squeak and jump, "Sir, how unchivalrous of thee! When a lady asks for you to present thineself, do so!"

"That … was so NEAT!" Marcus felt himself spun around and looked down to see Rayne smiling, her fangs apparent now as she looked him over in his armor and seemed to giggle, "And I'd bet this thing does great when you want to kill someone."

"Um, this is the first time I've gotten it to work properly, actually." He stepped back and, without even thinking about it, popped his helmet off, letting it hang back on it's hinge, letting him take in a breath of air that, while slightly thick and rank, was better than the recycled stuff he normally breathed. After a slight coughing fit, he looked around, "Well, now what?"

Neither woman said anything, their jaws having dropped in both shock and, unless he was mistake, more than a touch of lust; Rayne reached forwards and ran her index finger from his right temple down his jawline to the point of his chin, then up to his lips, a smile growing on her face as the other lady put a hand over hear sternum and blushed lightly, "Oh, my Lord."

Marcus just sighed and mentally bitched, "Why does this always happen to me?"

(Later)

"Are you in control of yourself now, Rayne?" It had been a rather hectic past hour in that the three of them had run into someone who had insisted on calling him 'Xander', Rayne 'Willow' and Lady Useless, as he and Rayne had taken to calling her after she screeched and called an old-school automobile a 'demon', 'Buffy', but doing so in a manner that said that he was in love with her – frankly, Marcus was happy to get her off of his case with how he was acting like a crude lout and an uncultured ruffian, something that had Rayne snickering and, were she there, would have had Samus rolling on the ground, laughing her ass off as he considered himself highly cultured and debonair.

Rayne blushed lightly and nodded, looking down at her hands once again before shaking her head, "I can't believe that I didn't notice this wasn't my body."

He snorted, "Yeah, I'll agree with you on that – I haven't felt this good since I was a teenager and, guess what? I _AM_ a teenager, at least physically, I am."

Rayne pouted and Marcus found himself wanting to go over to her and hug the stuffing out of her, for some odd reason which he attributed to whoever's body he was in, but then snarled, "I'm going to rip the entrails out of the person or people who are responsible for this, and then I'm going to feast on their blood."

Marcus blinked and spoke before he thought, "You know, Rayne, if it weren't for the hair trigger on your temper, I'd be forced to ask you out after saying something like that."

She blinked in response and then smiled slightly, "Play your cards right and we'll see just how much I can curb my homicidal tendencies."

He looked at her oddly and saw a slight twinkle of mirth in her eyes, which caused him to groan, "A killer body, encased in leather, a natural redhead and a sense of humor – my God, woman, you might just be perfect." She said nothing as they started running towards where the readings off of his scanning visor were pointing them, a run that had them crossing the paths of several rather unsavory types as they did, and it led them to the central part of the small town to a store that had 'Ethan's Costume Store' proudly displayed on a banner out front, and 'Grand Opening' also under it.

"Anyone inside?"

Marcus looked in through his thermal visor and saw that, indeed, there was someone there, but something else, something that was room temperature, "Yeah, there's two of them. Stand back – I've got a really neat door-knocker I've been dying to use all night." Switching back to his normal visor, he raised his cannon arm and triggered his missile activation mode, which caused the cannon to split into four sections and expand out, exposing a launcher and more goodies as he targeted the front door.

In his peripheral vision he saw Rayne smile and cock an eyebrow, "Ohhh, such a _BIG_ gun you have on you, Marcus. Do you know how to use it?"

"Just ask my last girlfriend, if you ever get the chance – I left her with a smile on her face whenever I was in port." With that, he fired off a single missile that was about four inches long and maybe half as wide, but packed more than enough punch to not only take out the door, but most of the front wall with it. Once the smoke cleared, he motioned to Rayne, who stood dumbfounded, "Shall we?"

She blinked once, then twice, and then a large smile grew on her lips, "Are you _sure_ I can't borrow that armor? I promise I'll bring it back in good shape … and I'll make it worth your while."

Marcus took a deep breath at the sound of verbal sexual promise and sighed, "How about we do this first and then we'll negotiate, alright?"

She smiled happily and pulled her blades, "Alright, let's go gut someone."

(Moments Earlier - Inside)

Ethan's night had gone swimmingly up to that point, not to mention his plan – he had sold to the masses of mentally inferior Americans, both young and old, costumes that he had imbued with magic that, when hit by the magic of a larger spell, would turn them into the characters they had dressed up as. A stroke of genius, to be sure, one that would put him into the good graces of the Roman god Janus, but fortune had decided to smile down upon him in the form of three brats who were friends, or at least acquaintances of, his old chum Ripper and the best part was that one of them, the Slayer, had gotten one of the costumes he had been afraid he would not unload, one that would turn her into a noblewoman of the past who would jump at her own shadow! Another he sold to, a quiet, unassuming young girl with red hair, was one imbued with the spirit of an old legend from when he was a child, one of a damphyr who went by Blood 'Bloody' Rayne – if the old legends were true, the girl would become an unstoppable machine of death and destruction, but truth to tell, it was their male friend who had concerned him the most; he had a costume already, one of a video game superhero's friend, but he needed to modify it slightly, so Ethan sold him the pieces he had to do so, but was not exactly sure who he was going as or what effect, if any, his spell would have.

Regardless, the spell had gone off without a hitch and Chaos reigned in Sunnydale for nearly two hours before the proverbial shit had hit the fan – he had been taking the trash out, of all things, when he was approached by a man who appeared to worship Billy Idol more so than others, and when the man asked to come in and use the phone, Ethan had stupidly invited him in like the sodding prat he was currently kicking himself for being. The man turned out to be a vampire, named Spike, also known as William The Bloody (awful poet, if one believed the rumors of said vampire) and said vampire wanted to know not only what had been done that night, but how to reverse the effects as his undead paramour, one Drusilla The Mad, had been inadvertently maimed by a character from a Japanese anime show named Sailor Moon, and Spike wanted to both end the spell and end the life of the caster or said spell, which lead to Ethan's current predicament, which was being held by his throat and looking into the demonic visage of Spike.

"Now, ducks, I am giving you one last chance to tell me how to end this spell before I start to remove your bloody internal organs in alphabetical order!""

Ethan, set in his ways, only grinned a bloody smile from the beating he had already taken, and offered up his soul to the god Janus, "Sod off, wanker." He was sure he was going to die, but Janus, or someone else higher up the ladder, had a sense of humor as it was at that particular point that the front of his shop literally exploded into hellfire, brimstone and splinters of glass and wood, making Spike drop him to the ground, which he hit painfully.

Once the debris stopped falling and his ears cleared, Ethan could very clearly hear two sets of footsteps making their way through the debris that had been most of his shop … and one of them sounded to be both heavy and armored.

"You see, Rayne, if you want people to notice you, you have to get their attention." Bloody Hell.

"Why do you think I wear _THIS_? Because it's comfortable? No, I like jeans and over-sized t-shirt and fluffy bunny slippers, thankyouverymuch." Bloody, sodding, frelling HELL!

(And now, back to Xander)

Marcus smiled at Rayne's reply even as he walked into the room, missile launcher still active and training on the warmer target, "That's good to know, Rayne. Now, gentlemen, may I have your attention please? I'd like to speak to the proprietor of this shop in hopes of stopping whatever the fuck is going on out there."

"Sod off, mate – I got here first, so he's mine," a rather emaciated man with shockingly bleached blonde hair snarled as he stood up, but he was also the same body temperature as the surrounding air, which caused Marcus to train his cannon on the man's chest. "Point that somewhere else, wanker, or I'll feed it to ya."

From his side, Rayne yawned, "Boys, put them away for measuring later – we have the same question that we want answered." She walked forwards, her knives drawn, and smiled, "Now, what is your name?"

"Ethan … Ethan Rayne."

She arched an eyebrow, "Rayne, huh? Funny that, that's my name too, only you can call me Blood Rayne. How do we stop this chaos?"

The man grinned crookedly and bloodily, "Sweets, you have to work harder than that to get me to talk. I'm sure we can work _something_ out, however," he said with a lewd look, raking his eyes over Rayne's body.

"Marcus, do be a dear and make him talk – I don't think he needs his left foot anymore."

Marcus stared at her, the bleached man gaping at her and muttering a 'Bloody Hell', but he shook himself out of it and aimed his cannon at the man, which made him jump and shriek, "The Bust! Break the bust!"

Marcus saw the opening and couldn't help himself for some reason, "The Bust? You want me to remove her third and fourth best features?" Blood Rayne looked at him somewhat archly, but he could see the twinkle of humor in her eyes as the other two men groaned at the joke.

"The Bust of Janus, you sodding prat! Destroy it and the spell is finished."

Without further provocation, he turned and fired a single missile into the small stone figurine, blowing the thing to smithereens, but that also triggered an energy wave that hit him, Blood Rayne, the other man even as he dove away and the man on the floor, blowing them all back and possibly out of the store even as he lost consciousness. Hopefully, he thought as his world went dark, thing would get back to normal when he woke up again.

(Next Morning – Sunnydale High Library)

"… and French class is going to be SO easy now!" Willow looked over at Buffy somewhat tiredly, as said Slayer had been going on, and on, and _ON_ about exactly what 'Lady Useless' had left her the previous night, and Willow found herself wondering, idly, if she could reach over and tip the girl's throat out before she could react and save herself, but eventually decided against it as she took in a breath and winced again as she read the headline of the new paper, "Mass Chaos leaves 0 dead, numerous injured'.

"I see. Willow, did this 'Blood Rayne' leave you anything as well?"

"Yeah, a few things, Giles – I remember everything she knew and did, I seem a little faster and stronger, not to mention my senses are a little better, but I guess the only other thing I can say is that I … grew, a little." She fought the urge to both blush and pooch out her now-more-impressive bust, as if to prove herself right, "It's not all that bad, but I'm a little worried, actually – she was a damphyr, Giles, half human, half vampire, and aside from my eye teeth being a little longer and sharper … I have this craving now. For meat – rare, red, bloody meat."

Giles and Buffy both blanched at this a little, Buffy's hands going to her own chest for a second as if to check for any growth but finding none from the frown on her face, and the former cleaned and then replaced his glasses before stuttering out, "My word. I … I mean, I had heard of the legend of Bloody Rayne, but, well, that is all I had thought it could be, a legend, that is. I … I will research, immediately, as soon as we find out where Xander is, of course."

Willow brightened slightly at the thought of Xander – something else Rayne had left with her was a touch more confidence and, after last night, Willow was sure that she could tell Xander exactly what she felt for him and not die of mortification in the process, "Well, when I woke up, I was at my house, and I don't remember getting there, Giles. Do you think he took me home?"

"Quite possibly, Willow. As it is Saturday, and as to Xander's own admissions of not knowing Saturday had a morning, I suggest we go and check his home, first." They all nodded and piled into what Xander had called the 'Old Foggie Machine', Buffy called 'El Rust Bucket-o' and Willow, on that day, found herself calling 'Proof Of American Auto Superiority', all three of which had gotten glares of impending death from Giles at one point or another.

It took only ten minutes to get to Xander's house, which Buffy joked that they had a good following wind and were going down hill most of the time, to which Giles growled she would pay for that with extra training, and when they got there Willow was more than a little surprised to see the Sunnydale PD pulling Xander's father, Tony Harris, the town drunk, supposedly, out of the house hogtied and unconscious, while another officer was talking to Jessica Harris, who was crying her eyes out and spilling the proverbial beans about the years of abuse she and 'Alex' had taken at the hands of 'that bastard of a drunk'. Giles growled out several vile oaths while Buffy gripped the door panel of the Citroen, causing the metal and frame to dent slightly, and Willow … felt absolutely nothing outside of panic for where Xander was until her ears picked up that 'Alex' had left earlier to 'work off some steam so I don't kill the bastard'.

When they got out of there, Buffy turned to Willow, "So, where would he go if he wanted to blow off some steam?"

Willow wracked her memory and, after coming up dry, shrugged, "Well, we can try the park, but I'm sure he'd go somewhere he could go hit something, hard, and not be noticed."

(3 hours later)

Buffy watched in shock, Giles watched in mute fascination, Willow, however, merely yawned and sat against the car, smiling after that as Xander, dressed in his Power Armor, jumped around the junk yard and shot up piece after piece of junk and scrap metal with his beam cannon and the occasional missile. He seemed to … happy, just blowing stuff up, and while before Willow would have attributed it to the Y chromosome coming out to play, now that she had Rayne's memories, she found it to be the inner child growing up slightly and going through a destructive faze, "Well, at least he's having fun."

"And he's warming up my new toy to slay with!" Buffy's delighted tone of voice sent a shiver of both fear and dread down Willow's spine and made Giles perform a full-body shiver even as Xander stopped jumping and ran over, his helmet hinging up to reveal his smiling face.

"Hey, guys! Guess what?"

Willow smirked, "Your armor is real now?"

He gave her a look and deadpanned, "That too, oh pictorially enhanced on. Tony is going to prison! Something about old warrants for past crimes across the country." He walked over and picked her up, dancing around in an impromptu jig of joy, which she laughed at as he spun them around for several second and then put her down, "It is a good day."

"Yes, it is, now get out of my new armor and tell me how to work it!" Willow winced at the demand in Buffy's voice but Xander didn't even flinch – he just turned, arched an eyebrow and stared Buffy down even as she proceeded to stop forward, "Come on, Xander, open that thing up and let me drive it!"

"No, Buffy. Even if you could FIT into it, it's not made for you." This stopped Buffy, not only the crack about her rather diminutive standing, something that Willow found she had slightly exceeded after the previous night, but also the tone behind it, the steel in the voice as he spoke again, "As I understand, each suit is initially programmed to the neurological input of one person, in this case, me, and if anyone else tried to wear it they'd get nothing at all to happen … and that's if they were lucky. The bio-feedback has been known to kill a lesser person, so it may just fry all of your nerves and leave you as a vegetable, Buff." Willow felt her jaw drop and her heart race – Xander had not only put Buffy down for the count, but had even done so with a tone that said, 'I know what I'm talking about, so just save yourself the trouble and accept it'.

"But … can't I even try on the cannon?"

Willow yelped, Giles coughed and Xander sighed, "No!"

"Besides," Xander went on, "now that I have this prototype, well, Marcus' prototype, it needs to be refined and for that to happen, I need a lab."

(Elsewhere, Elsewhen)

A screen popped up and began to show a message that it had received, decrypted, translated and processed to her in the fraction of a second that it took to show up, "Hmm, interesting. Who on this planet has the ability to send _THIS_ level of encryption? Eh, doesn't matter, for I am Washu, the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe, and nothing can stop me from finding your source."

"Washu? Dinner's ready!"

"… Except that. I'm coming, Sasami!"

AN: Alright, part 1 is done, part 2 is in the works. R&R, AR.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: (mini-rant) You know, for the past four days I've been trying to get this chapter done and got no further than the first two paragraphs, but tonight, as I was exhausted and opened this up by accident, I finished the chapter in the past two hours – that sucks simply because I've wasted three and a half days just sitting here! It was GORGEOUS outside all weekend and I didn't enjoy it. (huff) Do the writing gods do this to us on occasion, or is it just me? NM, here's the next part of Suiting Up.

2/?

(Sunnydale High School, Night, months later)

Jenny ran frantically, gasping for breath even as her attacker and worst nightmare come true laughed at her and followed her at an almost leisurely jog as she found herself to be quickly running out of room to run. That room to run ran dry even as she ran into a pair of doors that, for the first time in months, were locked, which made her pursuer laugh at her in a cold tone.

"Ah, Janna, I see you've finally run out of room to run – good, that will make killing you that much sweeter." Angelus, Scourge of Europe, had been terrorizing them for weeks now, Buffy not doing her job because she could not see past her love for the man who wore a demon's face, and now Jenny knew that she was going to die, painfully, just because Buffy could not listen to _ANYONE_ and not have the good sense to not fall in love and grant a moment of pure happiness to a vampire. "Fear makes the blood taste _so_ much sweeter, you know. I'm going to gorge myself on your blood for _days_!"

It was at that point, that one absolutely terrifying point that Janna Kalderash, of the clan Kalderash, knew that Angelus was going to kill her even as he walked forwards, that a third voice made itself known, a male voice that she was never so glad to hear even though it was level, glacial and slightly distorted, "Go on a diet, overbite." From a bank of shadows a trio of bright orange balls of light erupted and slammed into Angelus' back, pitching him forwards and slamming him into the ground, hard, even as from that bank of shadows came the sounds of heavy boots hitting the tile in a slow, steady rhythm. From the darkness came, first, the barrel of a smoking cannon, black as night and gleaming slightly in the pale moonlight that was filtering in from a near-by window, a cannon that grew in length to include first an extended arm and then a gray and black suit of armor that made her shiver slightly with the aura of mystery and death that surrounded it even as the cannon continued to train on Angelus' now-limp form, firing twice more before lowering to the armored side. The figure in the armor looked at her through a blood red visor and she was sure he was smiling even as he spoke, "Now, Miss Calendar, what did you mother tell you about letting strange men follow you around the jobsite?"

"To make sure they weren't married or your boss," she answered somewhat absently even as her mind raced to place the voice. Buffy, Rupert and even Willow had not been able to tell her the identity of this hunter, though she figured they did know only they did not trust her enough to tell her his name, but she had guessed a few things and pieced together a few more to put a possible face to the armor, "Is that you, Xander?"

"Harris," Angelus snarled even as he took off from the floor with fantastic speed, dodging the veritable wall of energy blasts that the armored 'knight' let loose at the back of said fleeing vampire, but only one or two actually hit and with that, Angelus was gone, leaving Jenny and whom she thought was Xander.

"You know, if I ever figure out a way to power this damned Power Beam up even more, I'm going to make it to where a single shot will blow a vampire apart, no questions asked and no mercy for anyone who gets caught in the crossfire." Jenny could hear the fury in the voice of the man as the helmet cracked open, allowing a hiss of escaping gas to be heard before his face came into view, showing that it was indeed her student, Xander Harris, inside of the suit.

"Xander, not that I am not thankful for your rather fortuitous intervention, but what are you doing here, where did you get that armor and why am I only learning about it now?"

He looked at her oddly, "In reverse order, I asked them not to tell you until I was sure I could trust you with this kind of secret, the armor, at best guess, was made real when the explosion of the bust of Janus, the focus of the Halloween Chaos spell, let out a massive burst of energy that possibly transmogrified it into reality, and I figured you would be the one Angelus came after, as you were the only one with access to the spell that could give him back his soul, so I've been following you around after school for the past few days … and nights." Before she had a chance to answer, he closed his helmet and … faded from view completely, causing her to gape and tentatively pass a hand where he had been.

"Xander? Where are you?"

"Behind you, Jenny. Now, let's get to G-man's house – we need to have a talk with him about this. If nothing else, we might get a chance to get it through Buffy's head that Angel and Angelus are two separate people."

Jenny turned, confident that Xander would stay where he was, and walked down the hall and back to her computer lab, wincing at the sight of her thrashed computer terminal, "Well, so much for the soul spell."

"Not necessarily – I hacked the original scanned copy out of there _hours_ ago, Jenny, just seconds after you put it in there, actually so it's safe, in my armor's computer banks." Jenny stumbled a second and blinked in shock at the claim, unable to fathom that Xander had done such a thing, given his less-than-stellar grade in her class, "Let me guess, you're wondering about my grades? I'm used to more advanced technology now, Jenny – compared to the stuff I can use, hell, _build_, the computers on Earth are … archaic."

"Are you able to read minds, Xander?"

"I hope not – seeing you hitting on G-man last night was enough to give me nightmares. I don't _want_ to know what's going on in your mind when you're around him." Jenny smiled at the semi-serious tone the disembodied voice had even as she grabbed her bag and made for the door, intent on seeing Rupert and his cadre.

(Giles Residence)

Giles sat back in his seat as Jenny delivered the news of what had happened at the school that night and Buffy, for her part, felt her stomach clench and forced herself to not become physically ill even as Willow snarled a vile oath about Angelus and stormed off, Oz and Cordelia both looked more than a little lost and Xander … well, she wasn't sure what Xander was doing inside of his armor, but whatever it was, it probably included gloating about him being right and her being wrong.

"So, now that we have definitive proof that Angelus needs to be eliminated," Willow said as she came back into the room, her pale skin flushed with anger even as Oz's eyebrow went up in both appreciation and attention, "how do we go about it?"

Buffy reacted on instinct, "We can't, Willow! He's … he's still Angel in there, somewhere. Besides, Xander said he had the spell in his computer, so now he can give it to Jenny and, and we can have Angel back."

"No, so _YOU_ can have Angel back, Buffy." Buffy looked over at the disembodied voice in a look of both pure betrayal and shocked anger even as Xander went on, "The rest of us aren't living in a dream world and can see the reality of the fact that Angelus needs to be destroyed, or at least otherwise removed from the field of play." She heard him sigh again, this time in disgust, "And I need to seriously consider amping up the power on my cannon – I hit the bastard four times, center-mass, and it only knocked him loopy for a few seconds."

"Be that as it may, Xander, I want you to give Jenny a copy of the spell in hopes that she can translate it – if necessary, we can give Angelus his soul back." Buffy looked over at Giles, grateful that he had at least shown some reason in the matter, but the look he shot back at her made her pause, "And no, I am not siding with you on this, Buffy – he destroyed Eghyon, and I owed him, so you can consider this his last free ride. If the spell does turn out to possibly work and it doesn't, I am going to authorize Xander to find Angelus and destroy him, once and for all, by any means necessary."

Jenny smirked at that, "As opposed to the way he tried to tickle him tonight, Rupert? He put out enough of those energy blasts of his to light up Sunnydale for a few hours, I am sure."

"Ten minutes, Jenny, and the son of a bitch got lucky I only hit him as few times as I did." Xander faded into view now and removed his helmet, a look of disgust on his features as he removed something from his belt and handed it to Jenny, "Just put that next to your PC and the information will download to a secure file."

"Thank you, Xander – where are you off to now?"

"Recon – they've been too quiet for the past few nights and I want to make sure this was all of it." Without waiting for another word to be said, Xander vanished and Buffy strained for the sounds of him leaving, finding that he was indeed getting better at vanishing without a trace even as the window from upstairs clicked shut.

After a few more seconds of quiet, she looked at Jenny, "How soon can you get on that, Miss Calendar? We … we need to get Angel back."

"No, as he said, only you appear to need him back, and I will get to work on it as soon as I get a replacement computer, Buffy – these things take time, if one wants to do them correctly."

Buffy looked over at Willow, who was cleaning under her nails with a small knife, something she took to doing these days, "Willow, can you help her?"

"Can I? Yes. Will I? No – Buffy, stop thinking with your heart for about ten seconds and realize that tonight, Miss Calendar almost died because of this." Blood Rayne had altered Willow's actions and thoughts a lot, as now the formerly mousy redhead was more upfront with her emotions and thoughts, more often than not choosing to tell people exactly what she thought of them after Xander, two days after Halloween, had put her down as gently as he could once she professed her love for him. Willow had, since then, started to date Oz and, more than once, had told Buffy exactly where to get off and to put her 'ideas', which shocked Buffy more than anything, but there wasn't a thing she cold do about it, so she lived with it – she couldn't get Xander back the way he was any more than she could get Willow back or the French lessons that Lady Useless, as Xander and Willow had been adamant in calling her, had given her.

Sometimes, Buffy felt as if the entire universe was against her even as Giles went on about patrol and a delivery from Kendra, the Slayer called after she 'died' at the end of last school year, in a few days, something she instantly tuned out.

(Days Later – Sunnydale Hospital)

Xander stood in the hallways, sans armor, as it was recharging after a good bout with no sun for the past few days, as he needed the sun to hit the solar panels he had slaved together to recharge his armor's fuel tanks, and glared down at the smirking visage of Angelus as he approached, holding a bouquet of flowers, "Angelus."

"Harris. Where's your prescous armor?"

Xander smirked at the vampire in a look of pure contempt, though in his mind he was silently cursing whoever was responsible for the continued sunshine in southern California, and the lack of it as of late, "Oh, would it make your ego feel better to get your ass handed to you, again, by me in my armor instead of me doing that without it?"

Angelus sneered at him, "Yeah, like you could take me without it – we all know how useless you are without your Slayer to protect you … and yet, here you are, protecting her, supposedly. How … pathetic. Do you really think you could stop me if I wanted to see her?"

"Only during the day, when I need to sleep. Why don't you come back then … oh, that's right, you can't because of that pesky sun? Silly me."

"It must kill you that I got to her first, Harris."

Xander smirked, "Please, you can keep her for all I care. I mean, if she had such low standards to sleep with a _vampire_, why would I bother with her? That point aside, she only saw me as her friend, all she will ever see me as, actually, so I don't have to worry about getting whatever demonic VD you gave her."

"If she has such low standards, Harris, then how low do you think you rank if I am above you?"

"Like I said, Angelus, I was never on her radar – are you deaf, or just proving again that you're stupid?"

Angelus smiled and walked forwards, "Well, enough chit chat – I'm here to see her, as she and I are so close, we're practically family, so visiting hours should let me in."

Xander didn't say a word, he only turned his body and produced a pistol that was bulky, teeming with power and, to any true science fiction geek, would have been instantly recognizable as he trained on Angelus' chest, "Freeze, Overbite – you're not welcomed here, so go home."

"Do you think that piece of crap will stop me, Harris?"

"Maybe, maybe not – maybe I'll need all the help those orderlies, rent-a-cops and nurses can give me. Step forwards and we'll find out."

"You dust me and she'll never forgive you, you know that, right?"

"I'll find a way to live with it, Angelus." The total lack of emotion in his voice apparently had an effect on Angelus as the Master Vampire stopped, frowned and then dropped the bouquet of flowers, smirking as he did and backing up, hands in the air.

"You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would you, kid?"

"I've done worse, vampire." To prove the point, Xander fired a single shot at Angelus, who yelped in an extremely unmanly way and ran for all his unlife was worth, at which point Xander put his blaster pistol away and smirked for a second, before calling out in a voice that carried only about ten feet, "You guys can stop trying to hide behind the corner – you suck at it."

Like children who had been caught with their hands not only in the cookie jar, but with cookies in their pockets and mouths, Giles, Willow and Jenny all walked out from around the corner, looking quite embarrassed that they had been caught snooping around, the eldest of the trio (physically – Willow had him outclassed in memories by several decades) polishing his glasses slightly before coughing, "Um, Xander, what was that?"

Xander schooled his features into a look of innocence, "What was what, Giles?"

"The pistol, Xander," Willow growled at him.

He smiled, "Oh, that thing? It was a … gift, from a new friend of mine." That much was the truth, at least as far as it went.

Willow growled and Xander, on instinct, stepped back, "Who?"

"Um, her name? Oh, it's, uh, Washu. Little Washu, as she likes to be called."

Jenny blinked, "Little Washu? As in the character of the same name from the anime?"

Xander nodded, "Yeah, she's trying to come up with a way to sue for royalties, but so far can't find a legal leg to stand on."

"What can this … blaster thing … do, Xander?"

"Well, normally it blows shit up quite nicely, but this one has been modified to destabilize the atomic bonds that hare held together expressly by necro-energy, energy that is only found in demonic entities here on the Hellmouth, or rather, in this dimension."

Giles blinked, "What?"

Jenny, however, only smiled, "A disruptor?"

"Yep. Anything else, well, it just blows up, like that mop bucket I hit down there."

Willow stepped forwards again, not growling this time, "And you never told us? Can I try it?"

"I just got it today and no, you can't because it is keyed expressly to my DNA, which is odd, considering I don't remember ever giving Washu any samples." He rubbed the back of his head and winced at the knot there before rubbing where he had a slight bruise on his stomach, "Did anyone else get stomach problems from that Thai we had last night?" Everyone gave him an odd look and she just shrugged, "Never mind – tell Buff what's the what, I've got a meeting to get to."

(Later – abandoned lab)

"So, Little Washu, what is it you wanted to talk about?" Across from him sat, if one could believe the anime, a 20,000 year old scientist (mad or otherwise, one must judge for themselves) that was currently in a pair of khaki shorts, a red tank top and was sitting behind a floating, see-through computer that she was happily clacking away on. Her shocking red hair, nasally voice and impish humor, not to mention her massive ego, were magnified by the fact that she looked like she was twelve – no, this was not the weirdest thing that Xander had ever seen, but it definitely took the podium for either second or third place, that much was for damned sure.

"Well, Xander, I have a deal for you that you may find _very_ interesting," she half-whined out in her voice, which grated on his nerves ever-so-slightly, much like the voice of that lady from The Nanny. "You see, in the past few hours, I've been analyzing your world as a whole and, I am sorry to say, your people are just lazy! I mean, aside from the whole Internet thing, what else have they done?"

"I'm not sure I follow, Washu."

"Well, cutie, that is where you come in – now, I won't help you directly, but I understand what you're doing here and I want to help." He arched an eyebrow at her and she shrugged, "Hey, if this world ends, how am I going to get the royalties out of those guys? Any-who, just as the Hellmouth, as you described it, allowed you to connect me during the spell, I want to make sure you and the others have a way to contact me, just in case, so I've created a dimensional doorway between this lab and my own. Pretty snazzy, if you ask me." She pointed over to a smallish door in the wall, across from where anything could possible hide it, "Now, before I get to the deal, I want to tell you the fundamental differences between our worlds. First of all," she started out, changing into a pair of robes in a flash and donning a pair of tiny glasses and a scholar's hat, the kind you got when you graduated, before standing behind a podium as Xander found himself behind a desk, "as I stated before, our worlds are not the same. Your world and mine are not only separated by dimension, but also by time – in this world, it's 1998, but also in my world, it's 1994. Now, the good news is that the day and night thing are all square – it's daylight here, it's daylight there, and not only that, but the days of the week and month are also the same. Are we clear on this?"

"Yes, Professor." It sounded stupid, but if the anime was anything to go by, ticking her off wasn't the smartest thing to do.

"Alrighty, difference two is that in our world, there are no demons, despite Princess Ayeka's claim that my daughter, Ryoko, is one; I'm not sure why, just yet, but it appears that the energies that are put forth by your Hellmouth are directly opposite in polarity from those of my universe in the respect that, under normal circumstances our worlds would never have met, ever. Are we clear on that?" Xander just nodded dumbly as his brain whirred to catch up and process everything that Washu was dropping on him at once, "Good, now the last thing – in your universe, your humans are correct in the respect that you are quite alone out in the depths of space. There are no aliens."

"Damnit! Now I owe Willow fifty bucks!" Washu gave him a glare and he shut up, "Sorry, Professor. Might I ask some questions?"

"Speak."

"Is that all as far as the dimensional things are concerned?" Washu nodded and he went on, "Now, you said I would get no direct help from you – what did you mean by that?"

"Well, I won't build anything for you, or program anything for you. I will, however, help you in the respect that your armor will need occasional upkeep and upgrading, so I'll save you the trouble of both developing the tools, which will develop the tools, ad nausium, to fix the armor, but also lend you a hand by supply your raw materials, which you must refine yourself."

Xander narrowed his eyes slightly, "And what's in it for you?"

She gave him a secretive smile, "Only that you agree to help me with a few science experiments of my own on occasion."

Even as a thrill of pure terror swept through his system, Xander nodded, "Anything else?"

"No, not right now. Any other questions?"

"Um, yeah, who is she?" The dimensional door had cracked open to reveal the face of an angel, Xander was sure, as she poked her head through and looked around – her skin was flawless in it's tanned nature, her hair as blonde as blonde could be as it was piled up in a messy fashion on top of her head, her eyes, he could see were as blue as the oceans in paradise and though her ears were slightly large, her face … was perfection even as she oozed innocence and curiosity.

"Damn it, Mihoshi!" Washu's barked cry of pure disgust made the goddess of a woman screech in fear and fall forwards through the door, landing and rolling through said door until she came to a stop some ten feet away form him, on her bottom, her lower lip quivering as tears gathered in her eyes, "I thought I told you to stay out of my lab!?"

"You don't have to yell at me, Washu." She was dressed in simple tan pants with a blue blouse that held in a sizable bust, and though she was seated, Xander could tell she was tall and slim, but not skinny. Quite frankly, if there was such a thing as love at first sight, as opposed to lust, which he was sure he had fallen into with Buffy at first sight, he had just found it as he got out of his desk seat and walked over to her as a single tear fell from her eye and traced down her cheek.

"Are you alright, ma'am?" She looked up at him and, for an instant, Xander found himself drowning in her eyes as a small smile appeared on her lips and a shot of pure joy shot through his heart – it was as if in a second she had claimed him without a word and only a smile, and he knew that it was over even as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tissue, handing it to her.

Now, had Xander actually been paying attention, or had anyone been paying attention at that point, to the stainless steel surface of the rolling tool box that Washu had in her lab, they would have seen the face of a blue-haired, red-eyed woman with flawless peach skin and a pair of golden dots on her forehead smiling at the trio of people, her eyes twinkling with both mirth and affection even as Xander helped Mihoshi off of the ground, at which time she tripped and fell into his protective embrace and Washu, with steam pouring from her ears, began to yell at the blonde, who was busy looking into Xander's own eyes. The source of said reflection was that of a young girl, maybe twelve or so, with blue hair split into twin ponytails, her pink eyes and freckled cheeks glowing as her bisected, inverted triangles on her forehead glowed slightly at the sight of Mihoshi, Washu and Xander, and she was sure that she had just seen the birth of something magical in nature even as she pulled forwards to announce to Washu that tea was ready.

AN: Alright, a little sappy in these last few paragraphs, but this lays the groundwork for some future 'ships – what do you guys think? Next part will take place after Angelus is being dealt with (some flashbacks will occur), and will mostly occur in the hiatus between Seasons 2 and 3, and it will be a longer chapter, too. R&R, AR.


	3. Chapter 3

3/?

AN: this chapter will have several large gaps in it that will be filled, eventually, in flashbacks and later chapters – you have been warned.

(Post Season 2 Finale – Xander's Lab)

Xander looked up from his preliminary diagnostic report again, pausing only for a second on the rather rough-looking armor that lay on the table next to him, and then sighed – it had been two days since Angelus … Angel had been sent to hell by Buffy, through the vortex created by the petrified demon Atheca, and since Buffy had put a beating on him that had not only damaged his armor significantly, but had also sidelined him for two days while his body recuperated from the pounding itself. Jenny, recovered now from the spell casting, had stopped by that morning to tell him that she and Giles were going to first check on Willow, who was still in a trauma-induced coma in the hospital, before going to Joyce's and telling her what really caused her daughter to run away … and about her being the Slayer, something that should have been done months before but, now in hindsight, the point was moot.

"How in the hell did she do this much damage?" Chozo Power Armor wasn't exactly made from tissue paper and could shrug off most physical damage that could be thrown at it, but Buffy wasn't your average human in that she was the Slayer … a Slayer, and her enhanced strength had bent more than a few plates, damaged a lot of internal circuitry and all of this meant that Xander was going to be very busy for the next few days, or a weeks.

Putting down the report, he sat down into a chair and sighed, rubbing his eyes and thinking back to just seconds after Angel had been sent to hell and the sight that, he was sure, he would remember for the rest of his life.

(Flashback – 2 days previous)

The portal was gone, and so was Angel even as he stepped out of the shadows that he had been standing, waiting to see if he would have to take the final shot to save the world, but thankfully Buffy had realized what her job was and, after one final kiss, had done what she needed to do. She now stood before him, tears rolling down her cheeks and eyes glued to where her love had been just seconds before as he walked up and lowered his cannon arm, "Not to ask a stupid question, Buffy, but are you okay?"

"No – Angel's gone. It was him, he was here, with his soul, and … I sent him to hell."

He nodded, "Yeah, you did, but look at it this way – by that point in time, soul or not, you had a job to do and you did it. It's kinda heartless, but it helps justify it somehow."

She turned and looked at him, her eyes narrowing, "Did you know Jenny was going to do the spell?"

Inside of his helmet he winced, as he DID know Jenny was going to try the spell again, but he shook his head, "No, I didn't – I thought she only had one Orb."

"Take your helmet off and look me in the eyes, Xander." Buffy's tone was firm, even demanding, and he knew he was caught, "Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't know."

"Does it really matter now, Buffy? What is done, is done, and it cannot be undone. The world is safe, for a while yet, so let's go see to-OOMPH!" He was hit like a weenie dog being hit by a Mack truck on the freeway, being knocked into the far wall by an apparently angry Slayer.

"You son of a bitch – you lied to me!" After that declaration, Buffy descended upon him and all he knew was pain.

(End Flashback)

Buffy had left Sunnydale, apparently, and could not be found, but once again Xander found himself with other problems, like having to fix his heavily-damaged armor, which he set about doing with a grunt, forcing himself out of his chair even as his lab door opens and the three adults who he actually respected (in his own dimension, of course) or liked walked in. Giles looked as if he had been put through the wringer, Jenny not far behind him looking quite the same, but Joyce, the final of the trio, came in with a fire in her eyes that almost made Xander wish that he was facing Buffy without his armor – the Slayer would only kill him, "Hey, G-man, Jenny, Joyce – what's up?"

"You have some explaining to do, you man." Joyce stormed over to him and stopped about five feet short as he turned and she saw the armor, "What in God's name is that?"

"That's my armor, Joyce, and probably the only reason I'm still alive right now – Buffy did that with her hands with me in it, so think about what I'd look like if I hadn't had the armor?"

Joyce shook her head, as if to clear it, but then frowned, "But Mister Giles said that your armor was just about indestructible."

"It is, and I am still not sure just how this happened, or what she used to do this, but if you'll excuse me, I've got about a week's worth of work to do and not that much time to do it in."

"What happened, Xander?" Giles stepped forwards, his face still slightly swollen from the beating that Angelus had given him, "Did the spell work?"

"Yes, but by then it was already too late – the portal was opening as the spell hit Angelus, and Buffy did the one thing she had to do and pushed the bastard in." He began to take the damaged armor plates off of the torso and winced at the amount of damaged micro-circuitry he saw, "I made the mistake that she would actually be thinking with her head and opened my mouth, and this is what happened."

Joyce stepped up behind him and turned him around, looking directly into his eyes as she did, "I thought you loved my daughter, Xander? Why would you hurt her like that?"

He sighed, "Joyce, when the world's very existence is at stake, emotional attachment to a person or people should not play a factor in it – I'm sorry, but as the old saying goes, it's business, not personal."

She took a step back and frowned, narrowing her eyes a touch, "How mercenary of you, Xander. I truly thought better of you, but I see I was wrong."

He narrowed his eyes in return, "What, do you think I wanted to make that choice? No, I didn't, but by that point in time it was the only viable option that kept us all alive." He stepped up to her and tilted her head up slightly, looking down into her eyes, "Joyce, you're like a mother to me, but make sure before you go off saying things like that you know who you're talking to – I am an emotional person by nature, but when I need to I can be colder than anyone you've ever met or hope to never meet." He let go of her chin and stepped back, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have repairs to get to."

(Several Hours Later)

Xander sighed and stepped back – the damage to the armor wasn't as bad as it could have been, with the majority of the damage being located in the torso section of the armor and very little else, and repairs would not take as long as he feared, but this also gave him a chance to install a new armor function that Marcus had left him with, the first in a trio of upgrades that would take time, called a Morph Ball. He'd spent the past hour making gaps in the micro-circuitry to accommodate new hardware and such, but the fatigue factor was starting to get to him even as he started to notice several mistakes he had made, causing him to curse and do them over again.

"Hello?" He snapped his head up towards the dimensional door and saw a quartet of bodies rushing through said door, two of them immediately familiar, a third somewhat familiar and the fourth familiar only if one looked down at the floor. The speaker, Washu, shut the door with a huff and leaned against it, "Sorry for the invasion, Xander, but we had to evacuate the house for a second." As if to punctuate the statement, there was an explosion that rattled the door slightly, "Ryoko and Ayeka are both fighting again, only now they're in my lab."

He winced at the statement, having met the pair and witnessed a 'minor' spat that had left a now-repaired hole in his lab's floor big enough to hide a VW Bug in, "I'm sorry."

Mihoshi walked over, Sasami and Ryo-ohki right behind her, a smile on her face as she sat down at the other end of the table, the princess sitting next to her and the cute and cuddly cabbit hopping onto the head of Sasami as Mihoshi spoke, "What are you doing, Xander?"

"Repairs and upgrades, Mi-chan. What got you out of in front of the television? Isn't it time for the X-Files?"

Mihoshi's seemingly perpetual happiness evaporated into a scowl, "Those two destroyed the TV about two seconds after they started fighting, again." She sighed and traced her finger around the surface of the table, both Sasami and Ryo-ohki watching his work with interest, "What damaged your armor?"

"Buffy did." He stepped back from the table and sighed, rubbing his eyes and putting his tools down before sitting, "Long story short I made her make a decision she didn't want to make and, because of it, the world is safe and her paramour is currently residing in Hell." Both females and the cabbit, who was generally considered a female but occasionally showed male traits like action without thought, looked at him oddly as he sunk his face into his hands, "Enough about my problems, though – what else have the destructive duo been going over now besides the TV and Washu's lab?"

"They destroyed my kitchen … and they nuked dinner, too." He looked over at Sasami, a tired smile forming on his lips as she pouted and Ryo-ohki 'miya-ed' in pity and patted the princess between her pigtails in consolation, "I spent all day making those sushi rolls and in seconds they were destroyed."

"Make them eat Ryoko's cooking, then." All females and cabbit present looked up at him in shock as he reached into the cabinet next to him and pulled out a Twinkie, "I mean, if you want to punish them, take away their constant in the house that doesn't involve destroying Tenchi."

Sasami shook her head, "Last time we tried that they managed to create a very invasive life form that almost ate Ryo-ohki. Since then they've been banned from the act of cooking."

Mihoshi wrinkled her nose, "Yeah, I mean, they even screw up instant ramen, and not even I can do that."

Xander blinked at that for a second and then chuckled, "Maybe it's for the better then. Twinkie?" He offered the snack cake to the girls, but they declined even as Washu snarled at the image that was coming up on her computer, but Ryo-ohki walked over and, after carefully sniffing at the treat, nibbled at it until she got to the creamy center, at which point she gave a 'Miya!' of approval and devoured the entire thing in the space of seconds before going on the hunt for more.

Over the next half hour or so Ryo-ohki sniffed out only one other Twinkie and went back through the dimensional door while Washu followed her in hopes of saving at least one part of her lab, Mihoshi and Sasami were rather busily trying to get him to consider a more colorful motif for his armor until the former of the pair had to leave to go on patrol, leaving Xander alone with Sasami, who was happily sketching out some designs for armor of her own as he worked on his own armor upgrades. He had met Sasami not long after his deal with Washu had been cemented with a 'donation' of his DNA, though he was glad he was able to talk her out of using her 'magic fingers' while in that nurse's uniform, something he still had nightmares about, and he genuinely liked the young princess in that she seemed to ooze the playful joy that Mihoshi did, but she also had an air of both power and wisdom around her, one that he felt every time she walked into the same room as him, and he could also tell that, in about six years or so, she was going to be one hell of a beautiful woman, which made him feel oddly protective of her, though he could not figure out just why that was. She was a wondrous cook, she always had an ear if one needed to talk and while she had a mischievous side that occasionally came out when she pitted her sister, Ayeka, and Ryoko against one another, she always had something else in mind when she did something, so it should not have been that much of a surprise to Xander when she started asking just what his relationship with Buffy was prior to the whole 'Lying' incident.

"Huh? My relationship with Buffy? Why do you ask?"

Sasami just shrugged, "No real reason, but I was kinda curious why she'd act like that if you and she were, you know, involved."

Xander blinked once and then snorted, "Trust me, Sasami, while I once might have been in lust with Buffy, there was nothing of that nature in what passed for our friendship." He paused and micro-fused a component into place before coming back up and removing his darkened eyewear, "I mean, yeah, I get that she's the Slayer and everything, but when you start putting the lives of others into danger because you can't get over your own emotions, then it's time that someone give you a good, swift kick in the a… backside."

"And you gave her that?"

"On an as-needed basis, but generally she ignored it and went ahead with whatever insane plan she was going to try." He put the pistol-shaped fuser unit down and sighed slightly, but then a well of anger swelled inside of him and he screamed, turning around and throwing his glasses so hard they hit the far wall, a good twenty meters away, and shattered, "Damnit! Why in the hell is this so frelling hard? I mean, I _know_ I did the right thing in my head, but I can't just leave it alone! I keep asking myself 'what if' and …"

Sasami didn't appear fazed at all at the outburst, "And it's driving you up the wall?"

He sat down on the ground, his knees drawn up slightly and his forehead resting on them, "Yeah."

Sasami said nothing for a few seconds, only getting down from her chair and quietly walking over to stand beside him before going behind him and sitting with her back to his, her head leaning back, "Maybe you want to justify it to yourself some other way so that, if she comes back, you can tell her that you have several reasons why you did what you did, and they are all good ones."

"And if she tries to crack my skull open like a melon again?"

He felt her shrug against his back, "Then I'll protect you."

He had a mental flash of Sasami, who was about a good foot shorter than Buffy, standing up and staring down the raging slayer, eyes full of rage and fury, in her carrot apron and kimono, and holding a ladle in her hands – the image was so completely absurd that he felt a chuckle escape his lips and then another even as his mental image of Sasami mutated slightly to a taller woman with the same hair, only with no ponytails, still in her apron and armed with a ladle, and then a final giggling laughter ala the Hyena erupted from his lips as Sasami joined him for some reason. He fell to his side, howling in laughter as Sasami's own laughter grew until she was laying on his side, giggling like mad as his own laughter subsided.

After a few minutes, he looked over to his right, as he was laying on his left, and saw Sasami there just smiling slightly, "Sorry about that – I just had this image of you squaring off with Buffy and armed only with a ladle."

Sasami smirked slightly, "I am queen of the kitchen, Xander – any cooking implement in my hands is a deadly weapon."

He arched a brow at her before shaking his head, sitting up slightly, "How did you get so smart, Sasami?"

She turned around and looked at him, her red eyes deep wells of wisdom and yet had pools of light in them, "I deal with Washu, Ryoko, Ayeka, Mihoshi, Tenchi and Ryo-ohki on a daily basis – psychological help comes naturally with that combination."

He shook his head and stood up, helping her to her feet after that, "Sasami, while I occasionally pity myself for having to deal with my life I'm not sure what I'd do if I was in that kind of situation."

She nodded at him somewhat sagely, "You'd more than likely commit several acts of homicide and one act of cabbit-cide as well." She looks around and then frowns, "Now, can you show me where the paint is? I want to spruce up your armor a little."

(Five Weeks Later – Giles is looking for Buffy, Jenny is breaking in Joyce to the arts of Slaying, Willow is out of her coma and not talking to Xander while Oz is on tour with the Dingoes)

Jenny, with Joyce at her side and Willow following them, walked into the laboratory and frowned at what she saw, or rather, what she did not see – it had been over a month since they had last seen Xander, and though all of the spells that she and Willow preformed said that, yes, he was alive, none of them said just where he was at any given point in time. It had all started out one morning with Willow coming out of her coma, one that she had been put into by Angelus in order to keep her from fighting along side of the Slayer – it had taken herself, Giles, Cordelia and Oz to keep Xander, who had been out of armor at the time, from killing Buffy and, according to Giles, it appeared to him that Xander had somehow regressed back to his Hyena self, but after a few minutes came out of his rage and stormed off. Jenny and Joyce had been glared at until they told Willow all that had happened, about the 'Lie' and everything, and while Willow initially was very against the idea that 'her' Xander would never lie to his friends like that, she eventually came to the conclusion that, in those situations, Xander would have lied to the Pope to keep the world turning. This had set the redhead off into an anger that surprised both herself and Joyce, but even more so she had declared her undying hatred for Xander and swore to never speak to him again after she got done yelling at him first – this had led to them going to his lab and finding it empty with a note saying 'armor repaired, gone testing', at which point Willow had let out a muffled screech and went off babbling under her breath while pacing holes in the floor of the lab.

Those had been over a month ago and, much to her own worry Jenny had seen nor heard hide nor hair from Xander, which had made Joyce worry and, that day, had even caused Willow to worry enough to accompany them to his lab – it was as empty as a tomb and aside from a fine layer of dust, nothing much had changed at all, which led to Jenny sighing, "Bugger, where _IS_ that boy?"

As if in answer to her question, the dimensional door opened and in stumbled a battered, bloody and broken suit of Power Armor, exactly as Xander had worn save for a single small painting on the back of th left hand that appeared to be that of a cat mingled with set of rabbit ears – the armor in question half-stumbled, half-fell into the armor rack that Xander had built to hold said armor, and the helmet popped open to reveal the face of one very unconscious Alexander Harris, "Xander?"

Jenny wasted no time in going to his side, checking his pulse even as Willow worked on the fasteners that held the two halves of the torso part of the armor together, Joyce undoing the other side until the front and back fell open slightly and revealed Xander's torso, as muscled and nice-looking as it generally was, being hidden by a blue skin-tight top that had what looked to be several old pressure bandages under them. With Willow's help Jenny pulled Xander out of the suit of armor as Joyce marveled at the technology first and then at Xander, as he was only wearing a pair of what appeared to be blue skin-tight boxer shorts at the moment (something that escaped Jenny's notice only as long as it took her and Willow to get him to a flat surface to lie on), at which point she went over to the wall and grabbed a first aid kit, Willow stripping off his top and checking under the bandages.

Ten minutes and two spells later to check to see if Xander was Xander and if he was okay, Jenny sat down into a chair while Willow pulled a blanket of Xander's lower half, as it had become distracting, "He's fine, just exhausted." It was at that point that she looked over and saw, standing in the doorway that lead to the lab of the infamous 'Little Washu', two women – one was Mihoshi, whom Xander spoke of in a tone that spoke of a young man smitten with a young woman, though Jenny was slightly surprised with how much older she appeared to be than Xander, which amounted to being near he own age, if a few years younger, and another woman that she had never seen before. She was only slightly shorter than Mihoshi, with pale ivory skin, dark green hair, sapphire eyes that held worry, intelligence and wisdom, a body that bespoke of someone who took their exercising rather seriously and an orange headband that clashed horrendously with the skirt, tights and blouse uniform that the woman wore – all in all, the woman was gorgeous and Jenny briefly wondered who she was, "Yes? May we help you?"

Mihoshi walked forwards, her eyes filled with worry even as her overly long ears drooped slightly with her apparent emotion, "How is he?"

"I'm sure he's fine, Mihoshi – do you think Little Washu or Sasami would have let him out of their sight if he was hurt?" The other woman walked over and pulled out what appeared to be hand-held computer and began to run it over Xander's body, as if she just wanted to make sure of her claim, "Hi, I'm Kiyone Makebe, and this is my partner, Mihoshi."

"Yes, we've met." Jenny stood and walked to where Willow was, who had stepped back and was staring at the unconscious form of Xander, "Willow, are you okay?"

"Fine. Peachy. Why isn't he awake so I can kill him?"

"He's exhausted, kiddo," Kiyone said with a sigh as she put her device away and walked to where Mihoshi was, holding the blonde woman slightly close as Joyce fussed around Xander, wiping his brow with a cold cloth, "We've been on the run for the past month or so and now that he's out of fight or flight, it's catching up with him."

Jenny, Joyce and Willow listen to Kiyone's story on how, after testing some new features on his stealth armor, Xander had joined Tenchi, Sasami and Yosho in a training exercise when they were suddenly attacked – they'd been forced to leave Earth and fight in pitched battles of ship-to-ship and hand-to-hand on an almost-daily basis for the first two weeks and then less frequently during the last few, against mercenaries, traitorous Jurain nobles, and even the odd misguided Galaxy Police officer and cruiser, during which Xander, herself, Ryoko, Ayeka and Washu had probably not gotten a full night's sleep in more than twice, all said and done. They listened to the story unfold even more as a conspiracy to eliminate the Emperor and the Queens, not to mention Ayeka, the First Crowned Princess, all in order to get to Sasami and brainwash her into naming some distant relative as Emperor and marry him, was uncovered and it all eventually culminated into one final battle over the entire complex that was the Royal Palace on Jurai – the conspiracy had been routed out, the ones responsible had been 'dealt' with, and Xander had been sent back home, which brought them all up to speed.

"And … Xander helped you in this? How?" Joyce, having been moved out of her place by Mihoshi, who was currently stroking Xander's hair, sounded more than a little incredulous at the thought, "I mean, I know he has a hero complex, but … isn't this a bit much?"

Kiyone shook her head as she walked towards Mihoshi, "No, not with him – Ayeka asked him the same thing once, a few hours after the whole thing had started, and he told her, point-blank, that until he was sure that Sasami was safe, he wasn't going to let her out of his sight. I saw it in his eyes, so to speak, that nothing short of killing him was going to stop him from protecting Sasami … and I'm not sure _that_ would have stopped him at all."

Willow smirked, "No, probably not – Xander's always been too hardheaded to know when to lie down and die." Jenny could see the emotions playing across the redhead's face as she watched Mihoshi's hand stroke Xander's face now, "What's up with you though, Mihoshi? You act like you and he …"

Mihoshi smiled, "No, we aren't Willow, despite how much I'd like that. I … I care for him, more than I should, you see, but we can't. Not for a long time." Jenny could hear the heartbreak in the woman's voice but also knew that she, nor anyone, would get anything else out of her even as Kiyone embraced the blonde from behind and placed a small kiss on her collarbone, which raised more than a few eyebrows, "You see, I've been drawn to him ever since I first laid eyes on him, most of us were, actually, but about two weeks ago he and I … we found out something that pretty much put the, oh, what did he call it?" She thought for a second and then smiled, "'Kibosh' on th entire plan I had cooking in my brain – a short courtship, marriage, kids, the whole thing."

Jenny, knowing from Xander that the anime and the real thing were two separate and slightly different realities, processed this in her mind even as Willow simmered slightly for some unknown reason and Joyce blinked in confusion – so much had happened in a short amount of time that it was going to take a while to go through it all and see what was worth keeping, so she grasped on the one thread that she could and went with it, "Yes, Mihoshi, you're right – there _is_ something about him that is so … endearing."

Joyce smirked slightly, "I once thought it was his boyish charm, but now, I must admit that his physique would have something to do with it, as well as his choice of clothing."

Willow snapped out of her simmering to glare at the older woman, "Stand in line – I've known him longer, so he's mine first and I want answers."

"But you had all the time in the world to try something and didn't, Willow, not to mention you have a boyfriend now," Joyce fired back rather pointedly.

As the two went back and forth, Jenny looked at Kiyone, who was not only holding Mihoshi, but was also smirking, "What?"

"I wonder if the kid knows that he has such an effect on all of the women around him? I mean, here we all are, lusting after him in one form or another, and he's also in the room, out cold. You can't tell me you don't see the humor in that."

Jenny arched an eyebrow, "All present? But you …" She left it open, not want to be inappropriate about what her mind was telling her.

Kiyone shrugged, though, as if it didn't matter, "Hey, first of all he's cute, and it's not as if it's wrong to look – it's a cultural thing, with my people." She let go of Mihoshi, who stepped forwards and knelt next to Xander and began to lightly sing, "Besides, he's an alright guy, you know? Didn't even raise a stink when I told him I was bi – he just raised an eyebrow and shrugged, saying he hoped it worked out for me and then went back to recharging his armor. I guess that's what I like about him – he's mentally flexible, not to mention physically the toughest son of a bitch I've ever met that was fully human."

Willow and Joyce stopped fighting and walked over, both of them apparently having come to a stopping point of some kind, but Jenny only paid them half of a mind, "Mentally flexible?"

"He's a lot smarter than he lets on – granted, his ability to plan things out sucks, but when you give him a job to do and tell him to make it happen somehow, he pulls not just one, but an entire litter of full-grown cabbits out of his ass to make it happen, too." Kiyone smirked slightly, "Hell, that's what has about two dozen different police and Intelligence agencies and Generals from four planets offering him jobs of some sort or another, well, that and his armor."

"Can you give us an example of this … ability ... he has?"

Kiyone just smiled, "Well, about a week ago we were adrift in space and Mihoshi, somehow, had managed to space her entire wardrobe out of the airlock with her only in a towel and …"

(Several hours, and many boxes of crying tissues, later)

He awoke to the sounds of laughter and purring – the laughter was of the female variety and at the other end of whatever room he was currently in, but the purring was occasionally punctuated by a snore and coming from the warmth that was currently residing on his chest; he cracked open one eye and looked down, not surprised in the least to see Ryo-ohki there on his chest, sound asleep, but he was slightly surprised to see that he was in his lab. The laughter rang out again and he turned his head, slowly as to avoid any attention, and was rather surprised to see Jenny, Joyce, Willow, Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Sasami sitting around his main lab table, all of them holding mugs of something warm, and giggling at something that Willow had said – this kicked his still-exhausted mind from it's complacency in a full-on survival mode that caused his heart rate to pick up enough to wake the slumbering cabbit on his chest as he mumbled, "Not good – must fleet and warn other males."

"Miya?" Damn it.

"Ryo-ohki?" He hear Sasami's voice perk up slightly as he tried to sit up, but then heard her squeal his name and charge over, almost tackling him off of the table in the process and squashing Ryo-ohki, who took up residency on the crown of his head. Despite the fact that she was almost two feet shorter than him, Sasami had her mother's strength and nearly crushed his ribcage with her hug until he was able to get her off of him with a pat on the back and a, 'hello, Sasami', "Are you okay?"

"Peachy." He stood up, still topped with a now-slumbering cabbit, and saw that not only was he out of his armor, but he was no longer in the under-armor pieces of a battle uniform he had found fit him, but rather in a loose shirt and a pair of sweat pants, "Okay, who was it that changed my clothes?"

The women looked around somewhat guiltily until Joyce raised her hand, "Well, I _am_ old enough to be your mother, Xander, and you don't have anything I haven't seen before as a married woman." He felt himself blush slightly under her gaze even as someone muttered something about 'being rigged', "But that aside, young man, why didn't you leave us a note on where you were?"

He blinked, "I, uh, kinda didn't know about this whole situation, Joyce – if I had, I would have scheduled it for a Tuesday, like we normally do." He reached up and transplanted the cabbit from his head to on top of Sasami's, where Ryo-ohki proceeded to sprawl out on her back and let her feet twitch as she chased giant carrots or something, and then looked around, "How long was I out?"

"A few hours," came the one voice he wasn't expecting. He turned around and came face to face with Willow, who was dressed in a pair of tight jeans, a halter top and had what appeared to be a light tan on her shoulders, "Xander."

"Willow. Glad to see you're awake."

"Been out of my coma for over a month now. Heard you almost killed Buffy over that, too."

He shrugged, "She's just luck I wasn't in my armor at the time."

Her eyes narrowed even as the others began to back off, sensing the impending explosion, and she drew herself up, "Rumor has it you lied to Buffy about Jenny doing the ensouling spell on Angel."

He shrugged, "That rumor is a lie – why do an ensouling spell on Angel? _Angelus_ was the one who needed the soul, so I might have neglected to tell Buffy about it when I met up with her before saving Giles."

He could see the steam starting to come from her nose, "I'm mad at you."

"Why?"

Steam began to pour not only out of her nose at a steady rate, but also from her ears as well, "You lied to Buffy!"

"So?"

Mt. St. Willow erupted as she snarled, "She's your friend! She would have-"

"-Died fighting Angelus while waiting for 'Angel' to show his too bit forehead again, or worse, the world would have ended and we wouldn't be having this conversation now, would we?"

Willow gaped at him once, then twice, and then set her jaw into a stone mask, "You're wrong. She would have won."

He arched an eyebrow, "At those odds and with that much on the line, do you really think it was prudent for me to hinge my thoughts on a 'what if'? Do you really think I'd risk that?"

She snarled, "Bastard."

"Nope – as worthless as they were, Tony and Jessica were married at the time of my birth. Try again, _gingi_."

"You son of a bitch."

He smiled slightly, "Guilty as charged, Willow – I was borne of woman."

He never saw it coming – it was a slap that knocked him off of both feet and balancing on one for a second before his left cheek began to burn and his balance restored, but he saw the second one in time to catch it, which allowed him to catch the third and hold Willow's struggling form even as she began to furiously squirm before breaking down into wracking sobs. On instincts as old as their friendship was, he pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her, holding her there even as she began to cry out a month of frustration, anger at him and even more than a little repressed anger at everyone – he felt his t-shirt begin to soak through but didn't care as he just held his Willow there to him and she wrapped her arms around him, and for a little while, all was right in their little corner of the multi-verse.

(Two hours later)

After promises to contact Sasami, Mihoshi and the others later on, Xander sat in his 'comfy chair', a desk chair that he had picked up out of a vamp's lair at some point in the previous six months, and tried to bend his mind around the facts that Jenny and Willow had laid on him about the past month he had been gone – Buffy was still missing, Kendra was dead, a victim of a completely mundane and non-mystical-in-nature bus accident as she was moving to Sunnydale, a new Slayer was being trained by both Giles and another watcher Linda Price, and slayage was slow, but that was to be expected in the fabled 'summer lull'.

After about ten minutes he sighed and got out of his chair, startling Jenny and Willow, "Look, I've got about twenty things to do around here first, but after those are done I'm going to get human and I'll call you guys – I need to think." Without waiting for them to speak, he walked over to his 'living chamber', which consisted of nothing more than a chest of drawers, a metal upright footlocker, a wooden footlocker at the bed's end, a single bed and a door that led to a small shower and bathroom he'd taken time to install once he figured he'd be spending a lot of time in his lab during repairs and upgrades, grabbed some clothes and toiletries, and stepped into the bathroom to scrub off and get human, which took him all of twenty minutes, as the hot water on his aching back put him to sleep for almost ten of those twenty minutes until said water ran out and hit him with a chilly jet.

Showered and shaven, he stepped out to find the others gone, so he dressed enough to not get anything potentially important to his future breeding chances crushed or otherwise mangled as he put his armor to recharge, download and to run a diagnostic scan on the internal components. With that done he dressed up, grabbed some money and, after visiting a florist, walked to Creekside Cemetery to visit Kendra's grave – he and the Jamaican Slayer had not been the best of friends, more like allies of convenience more than anything, but still she had fought by him and he mourned her loss. As he walked, though, he knew that he was being followed by Ryo-ohki, as she often stopped and played with some bit of ball-like trash or stalked what she appeared to think was a carrot before attacking and finding otherwise – there were only two people he could think of who could get Ryo-ohki to do such a thing, and he and Ryoko weren't all that tight, so he figured Sasami had sent her to keep an eye on him for some reason or another.

As the day turned into dusk and dusk turned into evening, he returned to his lab with several essentials he had bought after his absence (mostly food – he also made a mental note to scan the chili he'd left in the microwave for signs of life later on), he stripped out of his nice clothes and set about to make some minor repairs to his armor and start on his next set of upgrades. He'd managed to finish the Morph Ball upgrade before everything went to hell in a hand basket, but rarely used it due to the simple fact that it was uncomfortable as all hell being balled up in that tiny of a space, armor or not, but found it to be necessary on many occasions, so went on with his next plan of Marcus' – Boost Ball.

(Elsewhere)

She watched as he tinkered away with his armor, smiling as she always did when watching him – he didn't know it yet, but Alexander Harris was about to become a rather large player in a game that extended into her realm. She knew he had seen her several times in Sasami's reflection, and a few other times when she had superimposed her own image over Sasami's in his mind, but even as both affection and mirth gleamed in her eyes, Tsunami knew that it wasn't time for him to know about her … just yet.

AN: Okay, this part is officially dead and in the bag – what do you guys and girls think? A few things answered, a few more left open, and promise of something very interesting for our favorite 'Zeppo' in the near future. In the next chapter expect the return of Buffy, meeting Faith and Linda, having a few questions from this chapter answered (like what happened out there in space), and Tsunami revealing her existence to Xander, but don't expect that until after the holidays. R&R, Happy Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, or whatever makes you happy, AR.


	4. Chapter 4

4/?

AN: The part of Linda Price is, in this story, being played by Anette O'Toole, who plays the part of Martha Kent on Smallville. (sigh) I'm running out of women to cast as the part – this may be the last time I let Linda survive.

AN2: Some Buffy and Xander bashing in this part, though somewhat angsty and light, and a few slurs thrown at Faith, too, by Buffy – I want to get it out of the way, so I am.

(Start of Season 3 1 day – Buffy is back, no zombies at party – Sunnydale High Library)

Xander walked towards the library, dressed down in a pair of dark slacks, a pair of Doc Martin boots and a dark shirt that was open enough at the throat to show a dark gray shirt under it, mindlessly humming to himself while ignoring some of the looks he was getting from both the students and teachers alike – he'd put on about twenty pounds of muscle over the past few months from regular workouts and working in his suit, but it wasn't a bulky muscle, rather a fine, lean kind like a runner or a swimmer, and it showed with not only how he walked and carried himself, but also in the way his clothes hung off of him. He'd gotten more than a few long stares from Cordelia's sheep, Harmony actually choking on her drink and spilling it over her expensive blouse, some appreciative looks from a few of the younger female teachers, but also a few from some of the guys as well, but most of all he had, with a single glare at Snyder, showed the troll that he was not in any kind of a mood to put up with the Principal's antics, so to leave him the frell alone. It had been almost a month since his return to his Earth from his sojourn into both Space and Time, but it had been a productive month – he'd upgraded his armor and power supplies nominally, not to mention finishing his upgrades on the Boost Ball addition he'd made, but he'd also tweaked his Missile Replication unit, something he admittedly rarely used, to the point that instead of using a single tank of energy per day, which made 24 missiles, he'd made it to where he could use that same tank over two days and get the same effects, which was a good thing as his charging station, a bunch of solar panels hooked up to the side of his lab, just wasn't cutting it anymore. He needed a more stable and more reliable source of power, or another way to get the power on the fly – Washu had taken back her portable recharging station that she'd made for him to use in space, and now he was in deep with having to find a new source of power.

He shook his head as he went into the library, an easy smile on his face as he walked first past Willow, whom he had actually managed to patch things up with, though it had taken several renditions of his patented Snoopy dance to do, and then past both Jenny and Cordelia, who were immersed in what appeared to be fashion stuff, and towards, Giles and his fellow Watcher, Linda Price, "Yo, G-man, Ms. P, how's it going?"

"Xander, do you have to call me that?" "Good morning, Xander," came in unison, though the first with a truckload more of exasperation than the second. Linda Price was a woman in her mid thirties, maybe her late thirties, with a soft, straight red hair, a fair skin and freckles that bespoke of an Irish heritage, but her soft smile and gray eyes could either warm his heart or, with their absence, chill his soul – truth to tell, if it were not for the fact that she had been married and widowed once already, he would have considered flirting with her as much as he did with both Jenny and Joyce.

"Hey, Faith." The Boston Slayer, Faith Williams, had not taken to him at first with the stories of what he had done having gone around and about her head at first, but once he told her his side of things, she seemed more than a little willing to at least not rip his head off on sight. She was taller than Buffy, taller than most everyone but himself and Giles, actually, with dark brown hair that was almost black, a dusky kind of tan on her skin that was natural and brown eyes that bespoke of a hellish childhood – he'd seen those eyes more often than not when he used to look in the mirror, so he knew to tread lightly around her. She lived hard, played harder and, when on patrol, would slay like it was going out of style – she had an overall sense of sultriness that could arouse a dead stick, but under that there was a young woman who wanted to be seen for what she really was and not for what people perceived her to be.

"Stud. How's it hanging?" She was currently dressed in a pair of leather pants, a red halter and a pair of biker boots that had seen more than a little Slaying action, but on the chair she was lounging in was a leather jacket that she had not been seen without since he had first met her a few weeks before. She, once they got past the stories, had come on strong at first, but he had managed to get to realize that he was a friend and wouldn't use her like that, which at first shocked her and then confused her until Willow had made a comment about Mihoshi, which brought on a few other explanations. Since then, they had been friends, though there was a little something else that at all times.

"Just like God meant it to be, babe." He shot her a smirk as well and took his place next to her, unsure why he had been called to the Library that morning, "So, G-man, Ms. P, what has you two calling me here this morning?"

Neither of them had to speak as he heard an enraged snarl from behind him and he turned in time to see Faith bodycheck a flying person into one of the couches and then pin said individual in a rather painful arm bar, "B, you need to check yourself, girlfriend. He ain't here to hurt you."

He sighed and sat back down in his chair, "Oh, you're finally back."

Buffy struggled under Faith, "I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch!"

Even as Giles and Linda both tried to calm her down, he snorted, "No, you'll try to kill me and you will fail." This seemed to only enrage the faux blonde Slayer even more as her struggled increased, but Faith had superior leverage and a better grip, so Buffy wasn't going anywhere.

"Now see here, Buffy – if you do not calm down I will be forced to tranquilize you." Giles stepped forwards, shooting him a glare, which he promptly ignored, before turning back to Buffy and taking off his glasses, "Regardless of your problems with Xander, I ask that you look past them in hopes of you two working together again."

"Never – I'm never going to work with that traitor again, Giles."

"Same here, G-man, only substitute 'traitor' with 'deserter'." He sat back down in his seat and yawned even as Willow came over to help with restraining Buffy, "Is this what you wanted to tell me? That Buffy is back?"

"Well, that, and that my contacts that you gave those programs to have successfully sold them and you should be seeing your cut within the next day or so."

Xander nodded, having thought of ways to generate revenue other than salvage and, with Jenny's and Willow's help, had come up with several computer programs that his suit had been using to translate texts to sell on the open market, "Cool. Well, if that's all, I'm outta here."

"Get back here, traitor!" Somehow Buffy managed to get free of both Willow and Faith, but when she charged at him, fully intending to take his head off of his shoulders, she seemed to miss that he was waiting on her, which is why he was able to twist himself and lock in a chokehold around her throat, his size allowing him to hold it and his speed catching her by surprise even as she dangled an inch off of the ground, "Ack!"

"Buff, this may come as a real shock to you, but the world doesn't bow to you and I sure as hell don't – attack me again and we'll see if your death activates another Slayer, or if Faith will be the only one." This brought a silence to the room even as she ceased her struggled for a second and he put her down enough to breathe, "Now, I am going to let you go – play nice." He released his hold and, with his foot, pushed her away even as Giles walked up.

"Buffy, listen to me – I know you feel somewhat betrayed by what Xander did, but the fact of the matter is that the world is still spinning and we believe that is what he intended from the start."

Buffy pulled herself off of the ground, glaring at him before turning to Giles, "But he lied to me!"

"And you fought hard enough to stay alive – you weren't waiting on Angel to show up, so you didn't do something stupid and get killed." He leaned against the banister, his mind going back for a minute to his conversation with Sasami a month before, before shrugging, "Either way, what was done is done and it cannot be undone, and that the world is still going is all that matters – get over it."

She snarled at him but held her place even as Giles gave him a look, "But what about Angel? I sent him to hell!"

"And by that point in time that was the only viable option that kept us all alive. If you had done your job, or allowed someone else to do it, earlier, that would never have been a problem. Harsh but true, he was a necessary sacrifice."

She sneered at him, "Oh, so now you have a shot at me without him in the way?"

He snorted at her, "Please, get over yourself, because I did a long time ago."

Faith stepped up, her eyes narrowed, "Yo, B, this may come as a surprise, but X-man here is telling you the truth."

"Oh, so you're spreading them for him, then? Typical." Buffy's catty comment got more than a few noses out of joint, but none of them so quickly as Faith's, who stepped up and got into Buffy's face.

"That's wrong, B – Xander's my friend, and when I _did_ offer him that, he pushed me back, saying that he had someone else, and I know he wasn't lying. 'Sides, at least anyone I go to bed with has a pulse, unlike you."

"Buffy, that was entirely uncalled for," Giles said, walking over and his face stern. "Faith is a Slayer as well, and while her past is different from yours, I would hope that you show her the same amount of respect that you showed Kendra."

"She has to earn my respect, Giles."

"And you have to re-earn all of ours, Buffy. Or my respect, at least." Xander stepped forwards, "To me, now, you're no better than anyone on the street – until you prove to me that you're on the level, I want nothing to do with you."

"Fine with me – I can live with that." Buffy backed off, a cocky smile on her face, "So, what happened here in Sunnydale this summer? Dull?"

Willow went over a few things that happened while he was gone, then explained his own disappearance as far as she could, as he had yet to tell them all of what happened, but she then spoke of something that had happened a few weeks before, "And then there was this military outfit under the University that was stealing and studying demons – at first they seemed to be on the level, but one night Xander broke in, hacked their computer and found some things that weren't kosher and before you knew it they had all packed up and left."

Buffy glared at him, "What kind of things?"

"One of their main doctors had plans to create demonic shock troops, slaving demonic organs and appendages into human bodies to make them stronger, better, more damage resistant, files on all of us and ways to eliminate us, if necessary, stuff like that." Buffy gave him a shocked look and he shrugged, "A few e-mails and calls later, the funding was cut, the base personnel removed and the place was filled in with concrete as of last week – whatever the Initiative would have been, they are officially closed for business. You'd be surprised how scared the US government is of getting their dirty little secrets aired out like so much laundry."

Buffy blinked at him for a second and then looked at Willow, "So, you let him go gallivanting off into space like that? Why?"

Willow rolled her eyes, "I was kinda in a coma at the time, Buffy, and we didn't know he was in space until after the fact."

Buffy stood up a little straighter, "Well, no more. Xander, I forbid you to do anything that dangerous again – I'm the Slayer, I do dangerous things. You're only normal."

"Firstly, Buffy, you are _A_ Slayer, not 'the', and secondly, last time I checked, I ran my own life, not you – in fact, in the grand scheme of things, I answer to three people, all of whom are higher up on the ladder than the both of us put together, and compared to them, you're small potatoes, and not only in height."

She stomped and got into his face, well, into the middle of his chest, "I'm the Slayer, Xander – you do as I say!"

"B, you ain't listening." Faith pulled Buffy back and glared at the elder Slayer, "I'm a Slayer, too, so that puts us on even standing."

Buffy sneered and, truth to tell, Xander was getting more than a little tired of her attitude, "Please, I'm So much better than you it's not even funny."

Faith's reaction was instantaneous – she slapped Buffy so hard that Buffy fell back and onto her backside, "Don't you _dare_ talk down to me, B. And at least I don't desert my friends and my town after doing my job, skin and bones." With that, the Slayers began to bicker back and forth even as Xander and the others shook their collective heads. Xander just shook his own head and started to walk away, but a hand on his shoulder made him stop and turn.

"You need to work your problems with her out, Xander." Linda was like a mix between Joyce and his own mother, before she had met the bottle – she had that tone of voice and that look that said 'you know you're going to do it anyway, so save yourself the trouble and do it now', but as any young man would, he resisted.

"She's completely unreasonable when she's like this, Linda – damn, and I thought I was bullheaded, but trust me, it's like talking to a brick wall with her. When she calms down and uses that lump she calls a brain to think, then she and I will talk."

"I thought she was your friend, Xander?"

"She used to be my friend, back when she was Buffy. I'm not sure who in the hell she," he pointed at Buffy, who was back on her feet and preaching at Faith, "is, but she isn't Buffy, and she sure as hell isn't my friend."

Linda winced, "She's been through a lot, Xander. Sending your lover to hell isn't something one does easily."

"No, it probably isn't, but she also seems to think that just because she's a Slayer, she gets special treatment and no one else does – I hate to burst her bubble, but she doesn't and nobody does."

"She was in love, Xander. Can't you cut her any slack for that?"

He gave Linda a look, or rather, a masked look, "Not an inch. In this business we have to make decisions that have no emotional clout whatsoever, no matter how bad we sleep after it. Trust me, I've had some pretty shitty sleep over the past two months."

Even as his intestines began to roll a little, Lina looked at him closely and then nodded, "You made a decision like that, didn't you." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I did."

"Did your emotions have any say in it whatsoever?"

He looked her right in the eyes and told her, "Not one whit." It was all he could do to keep from throwing up at the memories that were coming to mind, and to keep from breaking down and crying as well.

(Later – Xander's Lab)

He was in his lab, his back to her, and hunched over his table while working on something that he occasionally swore at and welded on with something in his other and – it had taken her a few hours, but Buffy had gotten herself back under control long enough to actually think her way through what had been said in the Library that morning, and once she used her higher reasoning skills, she decided to go to Xander and at least try and have a civil conversation, "Xander?"

He turned around and gave her a look before sighing and going back to his work, "What do you want? I have better things to do than to talk with someone who is incapable of listening."

Buffy winced at that slightly, but steeled herself even as she walked forwards, "Can we at least have a civil conversation?"

"I can, the question is, can you?"

She growled, "Look, I don't know what your problem is, but whatever it is, get it out in the open."

He slammed down his tool and ripped his goggles off, "Fine, if you want to know what my problem is take a good, long look in the mirror, Buffy. Yeah, I lied to you, but I had a reason to so get over it."

"You sent Angel to hell with that lie, Xander – are you really that petty?"

"Are you really so short-sighted that you couldn't see past Angel and see that the world was about to fucking end?!" She stepped back at that as he shouted th last two words, throwing his hands in the air, "I mean, Jesus H. Christ on a crutch, Buffy, pull your head out of your ass and look at the world as it really it! The good guys don't always win, the bad guys often look better than the good guys and innocent people get caught in the crossfire."

"I'll do that as soon as you pull your head out of your ass and see that not everything is a gray color! Sometimes emotions _DO_ play a role in a decision and I made the choice I could sleep with."

"Oh, you mean you made the choice that made it to where you'd never have to sleep again, right? Because you'd be dead!" She flinched back, not sure where his anger was coming from, but he went on, "I mean, for fuck's sake, let's just say it – you wanted Angel and the world be damned, right? You, me, Willow, your MOTHER, everyone! But it's okay, you would have your Angel and it would all be okay, right? Well screw you, Buffy – you're not the only one to ever make a choice like that, so get over it."

"Oh, and you made a choice like that? When? With who?"

"Six weeks ago, and with Mihoshi." Both of them turned to see Willow standing in the doorway, sipping on a coffee, eyeing them both, "Or at least, that's what I can figure on how much he avoids the question." She walked into the room and Buffy was amazed with how much taller the redhead had gotten in the past ten months, "So, what was the decision you made, Xander?"

He glared at Willow for a second before he sighed, "Willow, Mihoshi and I can't be together for a very long time – I'll be 251 years old before her dream and my own can be realized." Buffy gasped and she saw Willow blink even as Xander took a seat, sinking his face into his hands, "Long story short is that Mihoshi's race is a very long-lived one, and until they are about 280 years old they are not capable of marriage on any level – their mental chemistry, physiological makeup, even their innate maturity changes over that time to where they are capable of bearing children and marrying someone they are going to spend the rest of their 650 years of life with. Secondly, my job won't let me and her be together."

Willow was the first to speak after about five minutes of silence, "So, that's why she seems so … out there?"

Xander shook his head miserably, "Yeah – she'll mentally mature in about a hundred years to a level that she doesn't act like such a klutz, which is why her race is generally not allowed to join the Galaxy Police or any form of scientific research firm until that point. It's too damned dangerous."

Buffy winced again at the note of pure misery in his voice and began to sympathize with him – he loved Mihoshi, for some reason, and just as her own case with Angel, he couldn't be with her, only in his case if he did sleep with her, she wouldn't lose her soul. A look over at Willow showed a look of shared misery for her friend as well, but also a look of possible hope even as Xander got out of his seat and went back to work on his suit's cannon.

About five minutes later Willow finally speaks up again, "What did you mean, your job wouldn't let you two be together?"

"Willow, I can't turn my back on this, Slaying and everything – it's my job now, ever since I, we, lost Jessie to it. And in case you haven't figured it out, people who hunt the things that go bump in the night generally don't live to see old age very often, even if they do like me and cheat every chance they get." He closed up his cannon arm and pulled it onto himself, attaching several power leads to a large battery before taking aim at a large target at the far end of the lab before unleashing a trio of energy blasts. Buffy had seen the power blasts hit a vamp dead on and only stun it, and had seen it hit metal only hard enough to dent it slightly, so she was more than a little shocked when the steel plate at the end of the target range buckle into something half of it's original size and smolder slightly. This, however, didn't get a grin out of Xander, only a grunt of confusion and then a snarl as he disconnected the power leads, pulling off the cannon and muttering, "Still not powerful enough."

"Huh?" Willow walked over and traced a finger over the cannon, her eyes slightly yearning even as Buffy fought down the urge to go over and cuddle the cannon as well while Xander pulled off the access plates, "This isn't powerful enough?"

"No, not at full power. I use it at about half power at most on the tough demons, because I don't want to fry the circuits. I'm still tweaking it in case we run into something that we can't handle very easily, but it still isn't powerful enough to not destroy the steel plate, only to heat it up so much that in three shots, it's about to melt."

Buffy blanched, "Why do you need something that powerful, Xander? I mean, seriously, Slay-chick here – I take it out if you put it down."

"And if I can't put it down? Face it, Buff, I'm thinking ahead." He went back to work and it was about that point in time that Buffy realized that she wasn't mad at him anymore – it was like as he spoke, her anger had just drained away and they were back to him being Xander and her being Buffy, only now she knew that he wasn't going to bow down to her every whim and he, she hoped, knew that she would at least try and see things for as they really were.

"How far ahead?"

"I have a job offer after graduation from Empress Misaki to become a Royal Guard, or to enlist in the Jurain Science Corps, but also I'm thinking about college and other things."

She nodded, but her mind stuck on something that they had shouted at each other earlier, "So, just for the record, why did you lie to me?"

He sighed and turned to glare at her, something she wilted under for a second before he toned it down, "The world's continued existence always takes precedence over the heart's chosen one. It sucks, and at the time you don't understand, but when you see the next sunrise or see a mother and father playing with their kids, it should hit you like a Mack truck hitting a Pinto at full speed – THEY matter, at the end of the day we're fighting for them and anything else is just gravy."

"And that's the decision you made at the time?"

He nodded, "Exactly."

Willow snorted slightly, "How poetic – complete bullshit, but it was poetic bullshit."

Xander gave her his lopsided grin, "It was, wasn't it."

Buffy opened her mouth to say something else when her Slay-dar went off like a bomb and she groaned, doubling over and doing her best not to chuck her lunch all over Xander's lab floor. When she looked up, she was a little surprised to see Xander smiling warmly and shaking his head, "What is that, Xander?"

"That's who, not what, Buffy, and her name is Tsunami, apparently. She looks like the Empress Misaki and Sasami will look like the both of them when she gets older, so I guess you could say either she is divine perfection or someone didn't break the mold when they made her."

Buffy looked over at the woman, who was tall, had blue hair, red eyes, and a pair of golden dots on her forehead as she giggled then, "Flatterer."

(Elsewhere)

"What is _SHE_ doing here?"

"I am not sure, but if she is after our Slayer, we must intercede."

(Xander's Lab)

"Flatterer." Xander smiled at Tsunami, not wanting to tell either Willow or Buffy that this was the first time that he had actually seen her face to face.

"Well, I try. So, Lady Tsunami, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

Dressed in her robes and partial armor, Tsunami glided over to him and smiled brightly as she stroked his face, something that was both instantly arousing and worrisome in the same gesture, "Well, Xander, I need to talk to you."

Willow growled from beside them, "Well, start talking."

Tsunami gave her a look, "Alone."

"Not happening." Buffy was not on her feet and looking rather unsteady, "We're not letting you take him anywhere."

He gave the queasy Slayer a sad smile, "She's a goddess, Buff, the pinnacle of Jurain religious culture – I doubt you could even make a smudge of dirt on her robes, let alone touch her." With that, he flipped on his newest acquisition from Washu, an interdimensional radio that would play anything from anywhere, any when, and was a little surprised when 2004's 'Live Like You Were Dying' came on as he and Tsunami faded out of view from the two steaming young women.

Xander soon found himself still next to Tsunami, but now they were in front of a rather large pool of water next to an even bigger tree, bigger than the trees in the Sequoia National Forest, even, and he shook himself off even as she smiled, "So, what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Obviously, you know who and what I am, though I am curious, how?"

"Her name starts with an 'S' and ends with a 'aw, how cute!'" He smiled even as Tsunami giggled at his description of Sasami, but he soon stopped smiling as his mind supplied that she wouldn't stop by for no real reason, "So, again, I ask, what did you need to talk to me about?"

She shrugged and took a seat next to the water, dipping her fingers into the liquid only enough to create a small disturbance in the surface, which spread out, "You know who I am, but what you don't know is my connection to Sasami – nobody but she knows, actually, and it's time for you to know."

"Why?" Tsunami didn't tell him immediately even as the pool darkened and began to show events as they happened years before, when Sasami was a cute little tyke with only a single bunch of hair pulled off to one side at the top of her head – Xander watched the attack and how she was in the Royal gardens before she plummeted to what should have been her death at the roots of the tree, Tsunami, but how said goddess intervened and fused her life energy with that of Sasami.

She looked up and looked slightly disturbed as the waters cleared, "There is a time coming when she and I will co-exist, Xander, and at that time you will need to be there not only as Sasami's friend, by my champion as well."

"But, what about Tenchi? I mean, isn't he supposed to be your champion?" Truth to tell, Xander kinda liked the shy guy, but with the way that Tenchi had worshipped the ground he walked on for not only taking Mihoshi's attention, but Sasami's and Little Washu's attention away from him, he only had to deal with Ayeka and Ryoko more often than not, Xander was more than a little wigged about the guy becoming an Emperor of a good chunk of known space.

She nodded, "He was, but things have been put into motion that even I cannot ignore, things you need not worry yourself with, so now all he has to worry about is being Emperor of Jurai … and surviving either Ayeka or Ryoko, most likely both, as wives." He winced at the thought, but Tsunami stood and went on, "Be that as it may, she loves you."

This statement struck him as a little odd, as it came out of far left field, "Uh, who? Mihoshi?"

"Sasami. Or rather, she is starting to love you – she doesn't realize it yet, and probably won't for a few more years, but by then it will be a moot point, Xander."

Xander felt his stomach flip as the thought of both Empresses, Misaki and Funhao, not to mention that asshole of an Emperor, Azusa, came to his mind, not to mention the thoughts of his own damnation of Angel's relationship with a much younger woman, "She's thirteen, Tsunami – it's a very non-moot point."

She gave him a look, "Yes, she is, for now, but by then, she won't be. Regardless of those points, I am asking you to take up charge as both her friend and as my champion, at an appointed time."

"Uh, sure, okay, but what good will I be? I mean, Tenchi has the Lighthawk Wings, not to mention Ryoko and Ayeka to work with him – I have my power suit, my razor-sharp wit and a surprisingly large repository of ego-bruising one-liners that will get me very dead."

She smiled at him and he felt his stomach flip as she walked towards him, her water blue hair flowing around her shoulders and her robes ruffling by an unfelt breeze as she reached up and traced her finger along his jawline, "That is true, but sometimes it is not the power within one that is necessary, merely the will to use all that one has at his or her disposal, that matters."

He stepped back, feeling a little uncomfortable, "Alright, say that Sasami and I do eventually hook up, what about…"

"Mihoshi?" Tsunami smiled sadly and shook her head, "Nobody ever said the road of love was easily traveled, Xander, and even then, there is much time between then and now. I'm sure you'll find a way around it."

Something niggled at Xander's mind, "Hold on, protect Sasami from what, precisely?"

"Well, for starters, my sister, Tokimi, another goddess, but also sundry other things that may or may not be necessary for you to fight, but even so, Sasami will need her knight in shining armor next to her when the time comes."

"Even if that knight's armor and sword are covered in blood and he stands in the shadows?"

She smiled at him, "Precisely. But I want you to be careful, Xander, because not all of the threats that you will face between now and then will be visible. In fact, most of them you will never see as a threat until it is far too late to do anything about them and you find your and your friends fighting to save the world, once again, at the drop of a hat." With that, Tsunami conjured what appeared to be a wooden cup carved out of a piece of oak and dipped some water out of the pond, smiling at the crystalline sound a stray drop falling back into the pond made as se offered it to him, "Could I interest you in some water, Xander?"

AN: Alright, that's it for this part – okay, I lied in the past chapter, saying you'd have to wait until after the holidays for this one, but you WILL have to wait for a while for the next part, as it's only half written out. What do you boys and girls think of this so far? Xander's new job is only partially laid out, and there are some issues to deal with as far as romance goes, but those hurdles will be cleared, eventually. R&R, AR.


	5. Chapter 5

5/?

The next few weeks of Xander's life saw some serious changes and a few rather surprising turns of events – first and foremost, his mother was out of rehabilitation and had moved back East to be with her cousin Michael, who accepted her back into the Family with open arms. It was a rather odd feeling that Xander had the day she walked out of the hospital under hr own power, her eyes not clouded with an alcoholic haze and her mouth not pouring out curses at his mere existence, let alone shouting at Tony at how much of a failure he had been. Cousin Michael, for his part, accepted the fight that was going to come and had told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was Family, and if he ever wanted to make his bones, to just come out East and try and follow in the footsteps of his, Michael's, father, Vito – Xander had given him a smile and told him to take are of his mother, 'or else', and the threat of just what would happen was plain between the two of them as the limo pulled off. He'd gotten a card from her a few days ago and it had said something about her looking into expanding the family business into Waste Management, but Xander didn't think to even hold his breath with the kind of stranglehold the Soprano family had on that market.

Another thing that had happened, aside from Buffy actually speaking to him on a partially civil tone all of the time, was that Willow and Oz had officially become an item and had gone out on an actual date – this was a bittersweet moment for Xander in that not only was Willow finally coming into her own as both a woman and, well, a woman, but it also a sign to him that he may eventually have to let go of her, or at least learn how to share (he was a selfish bastard like that, sometimes). He had, of course, taken Oz off to the side and threatened the werewolf good and proper, using terms like 'castration', 'evisceration', and 'de-furring', but it was apparent in the musician's eyes that he would hurt Willow only at his own peril, and those other things would happen only if someone did not get to him before Willow did, because then it would be worse. Willow had, at the Bronze, gotten him out on the dance floor and had one dance with him, never saying a word, she didn't have to with the look in her eyes – Xander found it hard to let his Willow go, but then again, she was his Willow, and he was sure they'd run across each other again.

Buffy, on the other hand, was having nothing but problems in the Faith sense of the word – a few of the shots that she had taken at the Boston Slayer had apparently hit a little close to home and the sparks flew whenever the pair of them were in the same room and not killing something; Buffy had, after some insistence from himself, Linda, Giles, Jenny and her own mother, apologized to Faith, but apparently those apologies had fallen on deaf ears with the looks of pure distrust and anger that Faith was constantly giving Buffy when not killing something. Xander had, somewhat, tried to calm Faith down and help her through this minor problem, but he could tell that she was closing off to most people and he would have to do something rather drastic to get her to open up, though that had later proven to be unnecessary.

As far as training went, Willow was now hitting the harder magics, under the watchful eye and wooden rulers of both Giles and Jenny, and was not allowed to try out many spells not because she wasn't powerful enough to try them, but because she wasn't wise enough to know when to use them and when to leave them the hell alone – this was made very apparent when she tried to summon a wish-granting demon to possibly wish Jessie back to life, so that she, Jessie and himself could be a group again, but said demon, who was posing as a fellow classmate named Anya Jenkins, had resurrected not only Jessie, but he was a vampire, Willow was a vampire and he himself was a vampire. Xander had found it rather easy, disturbingly easy, actually, to dust himself, but had done it without his armor and with a flair that had even the vampire who looked like Jessie chanting along with him as he finished the lines from the movie, "En nomine Patri, Et Fili, Et Spiritu Sancti," before blowing him away – of course, it was at that time that he turned and put a crossbow bolt into Jessie's chest, but not before saying goodbye again. Willow had cried this time, both of them had, which allowed Faith to sneak up behind the possibly bi-sexual vampire, given the way she had been eyeing both Slayers and her human self, not to mention himself, talking about a 'very fun sleepover', and staking her – that had lead to more Willow crying and even a few hours of ID radio, listening to some of the saddest songs in Country and Western had produced by the year 2009. Both of them got properly shit-faced about the entire affair together and fell asleep in his lab, waking to blinding headaches the next morning and vows to never drink ever again.

He had, after much experimentation, testing and more than a few burnt digits, finally finished upgrading his armor to it's current fullest potential in that he could take shots from angry Polgara demons, and had, and not even dent the armor, he could, at full power, destroy vampires with a trio of power blasts, but he also had upgrades his armor on his cannon arm and the armored fingers as well – he often found it to be better to not destroy a vampire just yet, so he often clubbed it over the head, but due to the armor's strength enhancement, he often damaged the cannon, so he hardened the metal there and no longer had that kind of problem. The fingers, though, came from when, while out on patrol one evening, he found that one of his jumps wasn't quite long enough and he was left scrambling for purchase on a wall even as he fell – he had meticulously installed retractable talons on his left hand now to give him something to grab onto now, as falling off of a building and hitting the ground not only put a good sized dent in his energy reserves, but it was also quite embarrassing as well. Outside of that, though, he had to admit that his armor was damned near kick ass and was quite happy about it.

One of the changes, though, was one that he could have done without – Mihoshi had, somehow, found out about his visit with Tsunami and what it entailed, and had given him 'permission' to see other people, though she had done it through tears and a bone-powdering hug that rivaled Empress Misaki's in sheer ferocity and embarrassment in where his head was most often placed (directly between the breasts – quite nice, in most instances, but when Oxygen began to become a problem, it was difficult to extricate himself from said place without putting his hands in no-no areas); while he wasn't exactly looking to jump into bed with anyone after this, Buffy had seemed to have taken a sudden interest in him that was inexplicable and, quite frankly, unnerving in how soon that it showed up after the announcement. It had been manageable at first, but one night, after a trip to the Bronze, she had started talking to him about something and, while he was distracted with a thought, had leaned over and kissed him on the mouth, hard – it had lasted for all of three seconds before his mind kicked back into gear and he pushed her off of him, asking her what in the hell she was doing, and she had told him that she wanted to see if it was capable that they could become more than 'Slayer and her Xander-shaped friend'. He had shot her down as easily as he could at the time, saying that he wasn't looking for anyone just yet, that he wanted to be alone, and while she looked a little hurt, she accepted – Faith and Willow rode her mercilessly about it for a week after the fact until Buffy made a challenge to Faith to do something about it, as Willow and Oz were a couple, but Faith had shaken her head, and stated that she would respect his want to be alone, that she'd be there for him as a friend.

That was one reason that he found himself at the Bronze this evening, alone and, quite frankly, enjoying himself even as he sipped at a concoction of Washu's own creation – it was non-alcoholic yet it gave him the sense stimulation that he was indeed intoxicated on a very low level. He'd left the Scoobies at the Library that evening even as Buffy's impending birthday party was being planned out, sans the birthday girl herself, who was out patrolling, saying that he needed to be alone for an hour or so, and had come to the Bronze to just get away, which is what was happening.

"Hey, Xand." He sighed and looked over, recognizing Faith as she flopped down next to him – she was dressed in her habitual leather pants and boots, but that night had one a t-shirt and her jacket over it, "What you drinking?"

"Bethishval – concoction that gets you buzzed without the alcohol." He passed over the flask he had it in and she took a pull off of it after sniffing it, and he was pleasantly surprised to see a smile split her face even as she passed it back, "So, what brings you here, Faith?"

She shrugged, "Not much, just a question."

"And that would be?" He noticed that she tensed up slightly and hesitated, looking quite nervous for a second, which was a very un-Faith-like approach to life and found himself more than a little curious even as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I was kinda wondering if you wanted to go out some time. With me."

He arched an eyebrow, "Out? As in a date-like way?"

She nodded somewhat hesitantly, "Yeah. Look, I get that you and your girl just split and all, but, well, it's kinda hard to explain." He left it alone even as he could see her trying to come up with the words to say it in, which came a few seconds later, "Okay, here's the deal – I don't trust men because of what happened to me when I was growing up. Mom turned tricks and her johns thought I was part of the deal nine times out of ten." This caused his blood pressure to rise slightly, and not in a good way as a red haze began to descent over his eyes and his mind began to think up places to destroy in Boston as he went on, "But you, you're different. I don't know why, but I trust you, and … and I want to know if you're on the DL or not, ya feel me?"

"You want to know if this is me or a front, right? Like I'm looking to get in your leathers or something?"

She nodded, "Yeah. I mean, sometimes it's a 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' thing with me, but I wanna do this one right, you know?" She looked really nervous even as his vision cleared of red and his mind shook off the effects of the drink, "So, you know, I wanna go on a date, just to try it out."

"And if it works?"

She cocked her head off to the side for a second and thought about it, "Well, if it works, we'll try and work it out, you know? If you can't tell, I'm kinda new at this, and I wanna do it right this time."

He nodded, his mind whirling slightly, "Well, I can see the reasoning behind it. Buffy didn't put you up to this, did she?"

Faith snorted, "No, she wants you all to herself as a trophy or something. Said that if she can't have Angel, she should have someone who she can protect, or some shit like that." This angered Xander more than anything, but Faith apparently saw it in his eyes and put a stop to it, "Trust me, if you would have heard the ass-chewing that Red gave her about that comment, you would feel sorry for her right now. Hell, I wasn't event he target of it and my cheeks are a little raw from it."

His mind drew up a picture of that act itself, of Willow verbally reaming out Buffy over the statement, and he smirked even as he heard a giggle in the back of his mind, a very familiar giggle of a goddess tree, "Alright. We'll try it out." He could see the joy in her eyes even as he held up a hand, "But, to tell you the truth, not only am I a little new at this, call me paranoid, but I don't think we're going to have a single normal date. I mean this is the Hellmouth, remember? You Slayer, me Hunter, things looking to kill us."

She nodded, her joy suddenly gone, "Yeah, I get the message. How you wanna go at it?"

"Something simple, like dinner first, and maybe some nice clothes?"

She nodded, her eyes hooded slightly as she thought, "Okay, we can try that, but nothing too much, okay? I hate dresses, so nothing frilly."

He smiled slightly, "Damn, and here I was hoping to get you into a full ballroom dress."

She shot him the finger, a smile on her lips, "Yeah, right, when pigs fly, stud." They began to chat after that, and Xander suddenly found that his funk was gone, and for once he wasn't brooding about his love life.

(Two nights later)

His love life sucked, and if this night was any indication, someone up there really was out to get him – Xander had started off the date night with Faith fairly well, coming by her place to pick her up at six, but had met Linda at the door; his instincts had begun to blare at him to run away and hide in a very dark hole after she started to talk, but he ignored them even as Linda proceeded to tell him what she would do to his remains if he had the nerve to hurt Faith – she used words and phrases that made his flesh crawl, about how she'd remove his bodily organs in alphabetical order, starting with the letter 'P' and working her way up the alphabet, and quite frankly, he was debating the pros and cons of going out, sans armor, and taking on an entire group of vampires because them killing him would more than likely be less painful than letting Linda kill him if he screwed up that night. Once that was over, though, he swore to her that he'd do everything in his power to have his date with Faith go as smoothly as possible, and her 'angry mother protective face' instantly evaporated, being replaced by the 'nice mother of the daughter' face that was almost always there even as Faith had walked out of the back room, dressed to kill.

It as obvious that Cordelia had put her two cents into the whole mix in just the style that Faith was dressed and prepared – she was in a pantsuit that flattered her body in ways that leather could not, hugging curves and planes in ways that did interesting things to his heartbeat. The suit itself was a navy color, with the blouse a cream color and her shoes being nice suede with low, sensible heels, and her makeup was tastefully understated to only accentuate her natural beauty – frankly, she was an utter knockout, but even though that was the case, his eyes could see just where she was carrying stakes in her jacket, and a knife near her ankle. Closing his mouth and swallowing twice, Xander found that he could sum up the entire thing in one word, "Wow."

Faith blushed at this even as Linda grabbed for a camera, "Hi, Xand. Ready?"

He looked down at his own clothes, which amounted to a pair of dark slacks, loafers, a white shirt and a sports coat to match the pants, and he felt slightly underdressed, which was odd as, since Halloween, he didn't give a damn what people thought of his mode of dress, "Uh, yeah, Faith. Oh, uh, these are for you." He felt like a total idiot as he handed her a small bouquet of roses, something Giles had suggested, and did his best to ignore Tsunami's howls of laughter in the back of his mind – why she was there, he wasn't sure, but she had been ever since he had taken her up on the glass of water he'd downed at her place, "Ready to go?"

Faith had nodded and they were almost at the door before Linda came in, demanding a picture, and once that was out of the way their night pretty much went to hell in a hand basket – the reservations at the restaurant were actually there, only instead of being in a secluded area, as requested, they had been put next to a rather rowdy party of older people who were celebrating a younger member's anniversary, Faith had found her chicken and pasta to be underdone, he had found his beef to be overdone and as tough as shoe leather, the bill was late, their drinks were flat and worst of all, they had been outside of the place and about halfway to the borrowed car when a sudden storm sprung up and drenched them both. Once in the car, though, it was like a dam burst open and they both began to first snort, then chuckle, and then howl in laughter at the string of events, tears flowing freely even as they sat there, leaning against one another. After their mutual mirth had subsided, they went back to Linda's so that she could get some dry clothes, and decided to meet at the Library later on that evening, but fate had other ideas in that Jenny, Buffy, Willow and Linda were all waiting on them and craving details, going so far as Jenny and Willow having brought him a spare change of clothes, just in case something had happened.

They were about ten seconds into their story when, naturally, the phone rang and Giles called to say that Oz, whom had been bitten by a werewolf the previous year, had gotten loose, which lead to a collective sigh and arming of tranquilizer guns – the group found Oz only after about twenty minutes of searching, but he was also in the middle of a group of demons who wanted him for lunch, so away everyone went into a massive fight that ended up with Buffy covered in demon muck, Faith and his clothes being torn to absolute shreds, hers more than his, though, and Willow being forced to lug an unconscious were-Oz back to Linda's house, where he was chained up nicely in the basement, the owner of the home doing her best to patch up what needed to be patched up.

Faith sat next to him at this point, back in her wet clothes, as her jeans and t-shirt, which she had changed into, initially, were trashed, and he was still in his clothes of cargo pants and a button down shirt, mostly, and half-asleep when she looked over at him, "If this is how our first date goes, I'm not sure that I want to risk a second, Xand. No offense, man."

"None taken – friendly outings for lunch and occasional movies?"

She nodded, "Deal." They both sighed and leaned back against each other, but she then spoke again, "You know, Xand, I have a question for you that you've never answered."

"Boxers." She gave him a look and he knew that his answer wasn't the right one to her question, "What?"

"How'd you meet that chick, Washu?"

He noticed that both Jenny and Willow perked up at this even as Buffy smirked evilly, "Well, the long and short of it is that she wanted to give me a medical exam and I obliged until she needed a … sample from me." Oddly enough, he felt somewhat self-conscious about the entire affair even as Willow and Jenny began to laugh and Buffy smirked even more, but Faith appeared to not be satisfied.

"What do you mean 'sample?"

"A semen sample, actually." He wanted to go crawl out into the road and die as the nasally voice came out of nowhere, then the body of the 'young' Washu appeared on her floating pillow and typing away, "All he had to do was to let my magic fingers do the walking and lay there, but he got all prissy and acting like Tenchi about it, running away at the end."

Faith appeared to take this sudden intrusion all in stride even as he began to slink away, "Oh, is that all? Hell, if you still want it, I might be able to get it for you." Washu perked up at this even as Buffy snarled and Willow leered at him, Linda and Jenny both laughing delightedly at the turn of events.

"I'll keep that in mind, Faith. So, cutie, are you talking about everything you wouldn't tell them now?"

"Yes, he is." He glared over at Willow, who schooled her features into her famous Resolve Face, patent pending, and he felt his resolve whither, "I want to know what you were doing when you were gone for that month."

His resolve stopped shrinking and he slammed a mask on over his face even as Washu stopped smiling, "What? Why?"

"I want to know. I mean, you never talk about it and we don't keep secrets from each other, right?"

"Wrong. I don't want to talk about it." He tried to keep the haunted tone out of his voice, but that wasn't going to happen even as Buffy perked up.

"Come on, Xand, it couldn't have been that bad."

He stood up suddenly, pulling away from Faith even as he glared at first Willow and then Buffy, speaking in a dead tone of voice, "It was worse then you could begin to imagine, girls." With that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room, house and down to his own lab, ignoring the frantic calls for him to come back – he had a bottle of scotch with his name on it to help put the memories and demons that Willow had drug up back to bed.

(Linda's House)

Washu had a sad look on her face even as Willow and Buffy looked at each other in confusion, Faith looking at Linda in sorrow and Jenny looking at all of them in a flinty sort of look, "Washu, what happened? Why is it that whenever we try to get that story out of him, he closes us off?"

Washu shook her head, "Because he doesn't want to give you nightmares about what happened … about some of the things he did."

"Washu, Xander's hurting, and if we don't know what happened we can't help him." She looked over at Faith, who had lost her own lost look and had her face set in resolve, "I mean, stud's tough, but sometimes you need to talk about things to someone."

Washu nodded, "Well, okay, but don't blame me if he doesn't speak to you for a while. You know the score, right? About the plot and all?" They all nodded and she went on, "Well, what you don't know is that when we were on board of Mihoshi' ship, several of the kidnappers had also gotten on board and Xander … Xander was forced to take them out hand-to-hand when our internal defenses went off-line."

"Take them out?" Linda had a growing look of horror on her face even as the words began to sink in, and Washu could tell the woman was drawing the correct conclusions.

"Yeah – it doesn't matter how you try to slice it or sugarcoat it, he killed people. The first few he hit with his beam cannon at full power and it knocked them out for a while, but not long, and when they got back up … he started using his missiles to stop them." She shivered at the memory of the mess that had made even as Buffy and Willow both grew wide-eyed and Faith's mouth dropped open, but Linda and Jenny, oddly enough, didn't look shocked at all, "We were in space for about a day when the next batch came after us and we managed to sneak off, but only barely and taking a lot of damage to the ship, so while Xander was helping to repair things, I … I augmented his power beam without his knowledge or consent."

"How much?"

Washu looked over at Jenny and hung her head, "Beforehand, the average person could take about five shots at full power before permanent damage was done to their body, but after my augmentations … the regular power beam, at full power, was capable of taking someone's life with two shots, and that's not taking into account the other beams he has on in tha thing. Ice bean would freeze and shatter appendages, the Wave beam would electrocute a person to the point their CNS would misfire and they'd go into immediate shock."

"How could you?" Washu looked over at Buffy and the Slayer went on, "I mean, I get that they were trying to capture Sasami, but you didn't tell him and he killed people!"

"You're point?"

"They had souls! What about that?"

Washu found herself barking in mirthless laughter even as the others looked at her in shock, "Souls? Child, we were fighting for our lives – their 'souls' were the last things on our minds at the time."

Linda held up a hand to stop the retort of the angered slayer, "Be that as it may, what did he say to you once you told him?"

Washu winced at the tone and as the memory of _that_ tounge lashing came back up, "Well, at first he said thanks for the power upgrade, but after the entire thing was over for me to remove it and if I ever touched his armor again without his permission, he'd kill me."

"Did he at least apologize about killing those people?"

Washu looked over at the blonde slayer incredulously even as Faith snorted from somewhere behind her, "What? Buffy, what's this fixation you have with people and their souls? I mean, in your mind is it that if they have a soul, they're good?"

Buffy nodded her head instantly, "Yes."

Washu snarled, "Grow up, please. Let me tell you about people and their souls – it doesn't matter one bit if they have them or not, people do evil things and if you want proof, why don't you go find my former husband and ask him why he took my baby boy from me! Or don't you wonder why I stay in this form?" With a thought, Washu transformed her child-like body into her adult one and glared at the dumb-struck Slayer, "He took my little boy away from me after his family couldn't and wouldn't accept me for what I was, so I regressed my body back down to twelve years old because, hey, I couldn't have kids or a husband, so no one could hurt me that way ever again." She fought back tears even as she regressed her body back down to her smaller self again, "And further more, it didn't matter to Xander one damned bit if those people had souls or not – he saw his job, he did it without flinching and waited until he was alone and we were safe to go and get properly sick about it."

Willow looked rather pitiful as she spoke up, "But why? Why him? Why was it his job?"

She snorted, "'Alexander' means Protector of Man and he takes it's meaning literally, Willow – it comes to him as naturally as it comes to all of you as breathing, to protect people however he has to, and in this case it meant killing. He never told you any of this because he knew how you'd all react, and now that you know, he'll be expecting you to condemn him for what he's done, but as a nickel's worth of free advice, don't be surprised if he dredges up something from your past and throws it into your face over it, some bad decision or call you made, because he will … and he has." Washu turned away from them as the memory of Azuza's reaction to what had happened to the would-be kidnappers was told to him and Xander's reaction to that reaction came to her mind, but it also didn't go unnoticed to her mind that Faith wasn't in the room anymore, and the front door was open. "Before I go, let me ask you all one question – how far would you go? To protect you and yours, how far would you go to stop anyone from hurting them?" With that, Washu left the house and the occupants to stew in their own juices and thoughts, unsure if she had done the right thing at all.

(Xander's Lab)

It was odd, he thought as the burn of the scotch shot he had just taken slid down his throat, that the Quelvian people, a race of one-meter tall penguin-like people that could click and whistle like dolphins, could have such good music – it was oddly soothing with the way the clicks and whistles echoed in the darkened lab, the ID radio going full-blast as he refilled the shot glass he'd found, and helped him put his demons to rest. He'd learned to live with the death and destruction he had been party to in order to protect Sasami – he'd long since managed to quell his own mind's objections to killing, but every once in a while a memory of one of the bodies detonating or a strangled scream would sneak up in his subconscious mind and a 'demon' was born.

He had gone so far as to get into a light level of brooding over the entire event, something that Angel would have done, and, naturally, that is when everything went to hell and his privacy was invaded – a portal, not six feet in diameter, opened horizontally about ten feet away from him and out of it dropped a figure dressed in the remnants of a pair of pants. Xander was up and moving the second the portal formed, had a stashed mini energy cannon in the form of a Desert Eagle, one that Washu had given him in exchange for being a guinea pig for one of her tests, and had said cannon aimed at the figure even as the door to his lab opened to reveal Faith, "Stay there, Faith."

"Yeah, do that, Slayer." The accent was a broad Brooklyn tone and came from a bank of shadows off to his right, so naturally he turned and put three cannon rounds into that bank of shadows, which brought out a shout of pure indignation followed by three screams of fear, "Hey, watch it! Do you know how much this suit cost me?" From the shadows, dressed in the smoldering remains of a 70's-era pimp suit, walked a man with a scowl, "That's a fine howdy-do."

"Who are you, who is he and what do you want?" Faith had taken up covering the groaning lump of person that had curled into a ball on his floor, but Xander hadn't moved form his target.

"Name's Whistler, and I work for the Power's That Be. Soulboy over there needs help and place to stay, and you've been elected to give it to him."

Xander didn't even flinch – he pulled the trigger of the hand cannon and hit the 'man' directly in the chest, but the round didn't even pulse him as Faith snarled and made to stake Angel, "Stop, Faith – how do you know he's Angel?"

"I set him on the path to redemption, sent him here to Sunnydale." Xander fired the cannon three more times on pure principle, blowing the hat, tie and half of the man's hair off of his head, "Will you stop that?!"

"Why should I trust you? Screw that – get your ass and Deadboy's out of here. I never invited him in and he isn't welcomed here, ever."

Whistler winced and held his hands up, "Look, kid, you've been given the nod by The Powers – don't go pissing them off and saying no. I mean, you are getting you wish, right? You get to be a big player –"

"Playing nursemaid to your corpse? Fuck you, Whistler – you have to the count of four to get him gone before I tell Faith to dust his sorry ass." He heard Faith give a grunt of approval to this even as Whistler held up his hands again, shaking them and his head urgently.

"What Angelus did wasn't his fault! Don't take it out on him."

Before Xander or Faith could say anything, another voice spoke out, "No, he should take it out on you, Whistler. You knew of the clause in the soul curse, but you chose to ignore it." In a flash of light, Tsunami came into being next to him and Xander wanted to run away very quickly at the scowl she was wearing.

Whistler's face drew into a scowl and he looked as if he were about to say something, but whatever it was went away as Xander lowered the aim of his cannon, "Lady Tsunami, all due respect, I am on official business of The Powers – stay out of it, it doesn't concern you."

"If it concerns Xander, it concerns me – use your senses, fool, and tell me you can't feel the Water of Life in him." Xander blinked at her scathing tone, but also at the term she used, "He is bound to MY cause, not the one of your precious Powers – no poaching."

"Xander, what's going on?" He turned and saw Angel was one his feet, looking quite confused, "Who is she?"

"Her name is Faith, Deadboy – check her neck and I'll dust you." Angel and Faith both blinked at this even as Whistler and Tsunami started to argue over who he belonged to, "Now, get the fuck out of here – you're not welcomed here."

"But … I need a place to stay."

"Go back to the mansion on Crawford."

Angel winced, "But … memories of that place-"

"Don't concern me at all." Xander aimed his cannon at Angel even as Faith joined him, sensing at what was about to happen, "One."

"Let's go, Soulboy," Whistler snarled even as he stormed past. Before they left, though, Whistler turned and glared at the three of them, "The Powers won't forget this – ever."

In response, Xander shot Whistler in the ass even as Tsunami snarled an oath and pulled her hand back, it glowing with power, and Faith smirked.

It took several minutes for the enraged Tsunami to calm down a little, but she did so even quicker after he quipped, "You know, Tsunami, you're even more gorgeous when you're angry?"

Faith snorted at the admittedly corny line, but Tsunami preened for a second before stopped and arching an eyebrow at him, "Were you flirting with me, Xander?"

"Quite possibly, yes. Now, what in the hell was that about?"

Tsunami pouted even as he and Faith took a seat, "The Powers That Be, the people who run this neck of the woods, are trying to poach you away from my cause by saddling you with that sorry excuse for a vampire."

Xander arched an eyebrow, but Faith beat him to speaking, "So, what? You don't like to share?"

"Oh, I don't mind sharing his body, but I cannot share his spirit." The flip, offhand way the goddess said it made some heat rush to his cheeks, but it also made Faith smirk even as she went on, "You see, they are now up to something, I can feel it, but I can't tell what. I want you to be careful, Xander – my involving you in my plans is rather unpopular with many people around here, so your loyalties may be tested, not only to your friends, but to me."

Xander narrowed his eyes, "I gave you my word that I would be Sasami's protector and champion, Lady Tsunami, and I aim to keep that word."

She nodded, "That's good to know, but I want you to be careful, please?"

(Elsewhere)

The male Oracle looked at the female Oracle, his face drawn into a frown, "This was unforeseen."

"For you, perhaps, but I have known this would happen since the dawn of time." She sounded sad, slightly withdrawn, but no less disturbed.

He scowled at his counterpart, "Do not let your affection for this … this mortal blind your senses, sister. We need the White Knight of the Black and White Queens to fight for us at the appointed time, or The Key will fall into Lady Tsunami's hands."

"And would that be so terrible? Lady Tsunami is many things, and one of those things is careful – she would never allow such an object to be placed in danger, unlike what _OUR_ plans are for The Key."

The male Oracle sniffed in distain, "Regardless, he has taken up her request to be both Protector and Champion for her mortal form – there is little we can do. Alexander Harris must be eliminated and a new White Knight must be chosen."

Had be bothered to look back at his counterpart, he would have seen a look of dismay and anger cross her features, "He cannot be replaced to easily, brother – one such as he are rare, even in our times. Two others exist on that plane alone, and none of them are worthy or able to handle such responsibility."

"We must succeed – Lady Tsunami's acquisition of The Key will herald our destruction. Remove him – Permanently."

AN: Okay, I swear this is the last part for a while – this is all I have written out and I won't post more until I have a plotline done. What do you think? Angel's back, The Powers are after Xander and The Key is at stake – above all of that, the girls know some of what Xander did in his month of absence and, more than likely, aren't going to be happy about it. Next chapter will have several breeds of evil, so be warned it may get pretty dark. R&R, AR.


	6. Chapter 6

6/?

AN: And now for evils from another series. Be warned, this part will switch back and forth between places and realities.

(Next Evening)

Xander looked around the park through his visor and resisted the urge to scratch the point between his back that he could only barely reach anymore – he had the deepest suspicion that he was being followed, but none of his sensors or scans were showing anything out of the ordinary. Tsunami's warning had stayed with him all day and though a dose of paranoia was healthy, right now he was drowning in it and almost jumping at shadows, as he couldn't shoot at them while in stealth mode, "Calm down, Harris – you aren't getting anywhere by acting like a bouncing bunny of fear."

It was at that point that his scanner picked up a small blip and he turned, scanning as he did, holding back a gasp as the computer brought up a file he'd gotten in his last data dump from Washu – Zergling; it was a vicious little bastard that often hunted in packs, so if he was picking up one, there were more and they were close. In the back of his mind, even as he went to the nearest tree and leapt up to the nearest supporting branch, he was wondering just how in the hell the Zerg had gotten to the Hellmouth - their own dimension was a computer game in his world, and in reality was actually on the far end of the Multi-verse from his own, so that bespoke of someone who was meddling, but whom?

It was about three and a half feet tall, covered in a mottled brown and black exoskeleton, with two powerful legs and several claws, about a dozen teeth on two lower mandibles and uglier than homemade sin, and it was sniffing around the air like a frigging bloodhound! Even as he disengaged his armor's cloaking device and tapped the blaster to full power, he made a mental note to selectively disintegrate the internal organs of the person or people responsible for the Zerg being on the Hellmouth – there was a general rule about asking for trouble and this broke it several ways from Sunday! A single Zerg like a Zergling wasn't that much of a problem, in the grand scheme of things, but if a Drone had somehow managed to get there and find a place to set down roots, that could turn into some serious problems that would involve destroying a good chunk of Sunnydale real estate in the process, and even as he raised his cannon and targeted the thing, he knew that wasn't going to go over easily.

The first shot he sent at the 'bug' hit it dead on and blew off the lower mandibles of it's mouth, and the following two shots took off the left side of the thing's body, leaving the legs and the right side, but he didn't stop as he switched from h is Power Beam to Ice Beam and froze the thing solid and charged up one final regular shot, shattering the thing to Hell and back, all of this taking just under ten seconds. Sadly, though, it wasn't quick enough as his radar began to show more sensor blips and all of them converging on his position, which made him kick himself in the ass – Zerg were of a hive mind, and when you attack one, they ALL KNOW IT, "This just isn't my fucking week."

(Elsewhere)

"What were you thinking, brother?" The male Oracle turned in time to see his sister's palm coming at him and connect with his cheek, spinning him around just enough for his toga to come off of his shoulder, "Bringing the ZERG, of all things, to the Hellmouth? Have you gone mad?"

"Harris needs to be eliminated, and this is the most expedient way to do so." He raised his palm and rubbed his cheek, "That hurt."

She glared at him, "Do you realize how much trouble you are in? HE forbade the Zerg to ever enter a dimension that houses a Hellmouth, active or otherwise, for a very specific reason. Please tell me that you were not foolish enough to put Drones in our realm."

He glared at her, "Though I may be occasionally dense, I am not feeble – no, I did not allow Drones to enter this realm, and I am searching to just to make sure."

She glared right back at him even as she stepped back, "Be this on your head – if the plan is torn asunder due to your ignorant tactics, no place will be safe for you from HIM."

(Sunnydale High)

"Hello?" Giles picked up the phone and jerked it away immediately, "Xander? Do not yell at me. What is wrong?" Willow felt her stomach tighten even as Buffy and Faith both perked up, Jenny arched and eyebrow, Cordelia frowned and then Giles blanched, "Are you sure?" Giles proceeded to blush a deep scarlet, which made herself and Jenny snicker even as the others looked on in confusion, "Right. I will keep them here."

Even as Giles hung up the phone and shook his head, Jenny spoke up, "What's wrong, Rupert?"

"Xander just called from his armor – there are things out tonight, non-demonic in nature, that are after him and he wants us to all stay indoors. As he put it, they are things that would give DEMONS nightmares, so I fully intend to keep you all here." There was a growl from the book cage and Giles turned to a wolfed-out Oz, "Oh, do be quiet, Oz. Take a nap or something."

"But Xander could be hurt, Giles." Willow had spoken to Buffy several times that day and she could tell the blonde Slayer was having trouble with the fact that Xander was a killer, they all were on some level or another, but Buffy more than anyone.

"Yes, he could, but he also said that it took four shots from his cannon to stop this thing, and that they were coming after him specifically, so he wasn't about to lead them to us. Quite nice of him, actually."

"But what if he gets killed?"

"Then he is dead and there is nothing that we can do about it, Buffy." Willow turned to Jenny with a somewhat betrayed look, but the Gypsy woman went on, "That is a risk that we all run every night, but if what Xander said is true, tha these things would give demons nightmares, then I say that we stay here. In fact," Jenny went on quickly, her hand glowing in power as the doors and windows of the room began to glow slightly, "I quite insist on that fact."

(Later - Sunnydale Park)

The Zerglings may have been an annoyance at first, but the fuckers that were throwing spikes at him were starting to be a real pain in the ass; they were tall, about six feet or so, with bodies like that of a snake, a hooded top, two arms that had claws and a tail that had spines that would shoot out when flipped at you – Hydralisk, in his computer, had a very special and underlined note next to it in that it had ground and air attack capability, and like the Zergling it could burrow underground, making it much harder to see. He'd been hit twice already by the spines of the thing and, while they didn't take that much out of his Energy supply, they left behind a residue that seemed to allow for the things to track him, which was exactly what they were doing as he jumped from tree to tree, popping off shots where he could at them.

Another annoying fact about the Zerg was that, when left alone, they were able to regenerate any damage that they had done to them over time, like many biological entities – this premise worked well when shot with Power Beams and even the odd Wave Beam, but Ice Beams and missiles were another critter all together in that the former would severely slow and injure the creature through frost bite and muscle damage while the latter caused massive trauma to it's body. Sadly, though, the effects of the Ice beam were shrugged off after about five minutes and the missile issue was such that he'd used two already and had a very finite number to work with, something that the little voice in the back of his mind told him to rectify when he got the chance … if he got the chance.

Even as he popped out from behind one of the larger oak trees and came face to face with a Hydralisk, he didn't hesitate to fire off a handful of regular shots into it's face, hollowing out it's skull in no time and causing it's body to detonate in such a way that not only was he partially covered in the muck, but so was the tree, and it was at that point that he began to notice the tree beginning to smoke as the blood ate away at it. He checked his armor and saw that, indeed, it too was being eaten away at, but at a much slower rate of speed, but he still snarled out an oath of sheer anger as he armed his missile cannon and targeted a pair of lone Zerglings, "I'm going to find out who did this and have his balls hanging on my wall by breakfast, my promise to God."

(Library)

"This is not good." Giles rubbed his eyes even as Willow brought up several web pages on the things that he had been told by Xander were out there – Zerg. If what he was reading was right, not only were they difficult to combat, but also that they were of a hive mind and relentless.

"No, it isn't, which is why we need to be out there helping Xander!" Buffy, now strapped into a chair by Jenny with some magical bindings, had been quite vocal and against the fact that they were not going to be helping Xander, "He could be hurt."

"B, chill for a second and think – if these things are anything like they are in the game, then stud's got enough on his plate without having to worry about us. I mean, if he's fighting these things like G said he was, then that means he's using those missiles of his – think about what one of those would do to us if it hit? Can you say, Slayer, extra-chunky style?"

"Yes, quite right, Faith." Giles sighed as his mind pulled up several pictures of just what a human body that had been detonated looked like and tried to not become sick at it, at least outwardly, "We need to find out where these things came from and, more importantly, how to send them back." With that, he and Jenny set to work, Willow still pouring over the computer with Cordelia helping her, and Faith keeping an eye on Buffy, Oz having curled up into a ball by the back corner of the cage about five minutes ago and softly snoring as his feet occasionally twitched.

(Tenchi-verse)

"Well, this sucks." Washu had received a call over her ID link to Xander about ten minutes ago, marked 'URGENT – OPEN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, WASHU', but she had been in the middle of trying to get her royalties out of those guys in Xander's universe and didn't pay it too much attention until her computer scenario showed that she'd still come up with nothing. When she opened it, she'd actually read through it halfway before it registered just what he was talking about and she began to take things seriously – she'd studied the Zerg a few centuries before her imprisonment, and she'd sworn on her son's life that she'd never deal with those things like she had with other species. They were twisted, evil things that needed to be stopped, at any costs.

"That is one way to put it, sister." She turned and saw Tsunami standing next to her, her face drawn into a mask of worry, "Is there anything you can do, Washu-chan?"

Washu sighed, "No, not at this point – if I had time, I could create a new armor for him, one that has expanded abilities, but to do that I'd have to map his entire neuro system and I haven't actually gotten around to that." Never had she kicked herself more than she was right now, "Add to that I can receive his messages, but I can't seem to send anything through to him."

Tsunami nodded at that, "Yes, I find myself cut off from him as well, which begs the question of just who it is that is cutting us off."

"I'm working on it, just keep those two out of my lab." Washu waved her hand off towards Ayeka and Ryoko, whom had both stormed into the lab with Tenchi between them, "Tenchi as well."

Tsunami nodded and the trio vanished – from her receivers outside, though, Washu could hear three howls of indignation and one very loud splash as they were dropped into the lake.

(Later - Sunnydale Park)

"Damn it." Xander limped along a small grove a trees even as his armor smoked slightly from the corrosive agents working on it, his leg throbbing and his computer systems showing him damage reports. He'd been ambushed, while on his way back to his lab, by about two dozen Zerglings and half as many Hydralisks, but now a new element was tossed into the mix as well – Guardians, which appeared to be giant floating crabs about ten feet in width and six feet in length, but the acid globs they spat out at him were as deadly as they came. They did have one disadvantage, though – they were air-to-ground assault only, so if he got level with them they were duck soup, but they were also traveling with more Hydralisks at the time and had met up with the pack of Zerglings, which made for a rather difficult escape, one in which he did make but only barely so. His energy levels were low, his armor was moderately damaged and apparently he couldn't get anything through to Washu, so he was effectively screwed.

Even as he approached his base of operations, his mind began to whirl about how he was going to fight these things that were coming after him – he had a small cache of arms he and Washu had developed just in case his base came under attack, but nothing on the level that would be needed to fight those things, and even if he set his armor to recharge and repair, it would be over an hour before it would be ready, which was time he didn't have. Sighing, he turned and fired off one of his few remaining missiles at an approaching Guardian, something that it seemed to shrug off at first but it then fell out of the sky and landed on one of the large dumpsters in the area, flattening it completely before dissolving into an ooze, "Got ya, fucker." Not wasting the chance he was granted by luck, he dropped into his lab via an emergency access hatch he'd put in a few months earlier and stifled out a shout of pain as his leg began to give him more problems – he'd have to work through it.

(Elsewhere)

She watched in her own private viewing area as the White Knight tried desperately to hold back the Zerg offensive while his armor was off-line, recharging and being repaired – she had not figured her brother to go to such extremes as he had, let alone so soon, and found herself quite unprepared for what had happened. It was true that she had a soft spot for this particular mortal, but then again she couldn't help it in that she'd watched him since the moment of his conception, a brutal act in and of itself, and she marveled at the fact that someone surrounded by so much violence, anger and evil was capable of staying so … true. By no means was he an angel, or even a special player in the grand scheme of things, but all of that had changed once he split the Slayer line in an act of both love and friendship, bringing back Slayer Summers from the abyss; this had altered their plans greatly and what they had been forced to come up with so far wasn't ideal for either humanity or for the Slayer line, but it was the best they could do to replace a plan that had been ten millennia in the making.

She winced in sympathy as his body began to counteract the poison that was invading it, the Water of Life that Tsunami had given him, even if he didn't have the first idea what it truly was, activating his regenerative and immune systems, and made a decision that would most likely damn her existence – she turned and looked at the one-way barrier that had been erected between realities to keep help from coming into this realm, and then back at the White Knight. If nobody else would help him, she would.

(Xander's Lab)

The micro missile launcher that had been so faithful to him over the past two minutes clicked dry and buzzed at him an electronic raspberry even as Washu's voice came from it, saying 'you're out of ammo, loser', which made him drop it even as he felt the dizziness that had been assaulting him for almost ten minutes fade and the pain in his leg lessen. The Zerg had taken up a holding pattern around the building that housed his lab, just out of easy targeting range, and it had only taken most of their forces to figure it out, but he figured that they had reinforcements on the way and he slumped down against the wall, knowing that his armor would be ready for him in about twenty five minutes or so.

He felt his body begin to grow lighter as the minutes passed, his mind slipping back to some of his talks in months past with Willow and some of the things that had gone on with them – she wasn't a fan of Angel at all, but when she had woken up and learned of what had happened, she wanted his blood not just for the fact that he had lied to Buffy about the soul spell, but also for the fact that he had done this and she wasn't able to get at Angelus for the beating she had taken in order to put her into the coma she had been in. She had started to show her edge after Halloween, showing that beneath that meek exterior there was a fire that burned hotter than those of hell, but also that there was a vindictive person there that didn't forgive very easily, and even if she did, she never forgot, which had led to her explosion at him when he got back – he'd been a little confused at first, whether she was mad at him for lying to Buffy or for not waiting, but once he explained there wasn't time to wait, she seemed to accept it and then turned to Buffy and let the blonde Slayer have it with both barrels, as it were. Oh, yeah, that had been a fun month – it had taken him about that long to get Buffy to speak to him and not try and take his head off, for Willow to not snipe at Buffy, Faith to not try and kill him and, of course, the crowning achievement, was to keep all three of them and Jenny out of his love life with Mihoshi.

Yeah, his body was definitely feeling lighter than before, and now he actually had enough energy to look around, but he saw nothing that could have made him feel that way – it was like he was being fed energy, and lots of it, from an unseen source, but it wasn't one that he was familiar with; he'd seen Ryoko and Ayeka level entire trees with their energy blasts, he'd felt Tsunami's power, and even Tenchi's from when he had deployed the Lighthawk Wings, but this felt different from all of them as he stood up and flexed his fingers. Something most definitely wasn't right, "What's this?"

As if someone had plugged an entire sound system in around him without his knowledge, a single voice spoke to him, well, more like whispered to him, "A gift, and an apology." With that, the voice was gone and he had an inkling of an idea of what had gone one in that moment even as he turned and pointed his hand at one of the walls the Zerglings had hidden behind, a surge of power rushing out of his hand and he could also feel the drain on his body as well.

Like a micro thunderstorm, a type of lightning crackled around that point in space and he could hear the enraged screams of both surprise and agony from the Zerg behind the wall, before seeing an explosion of chunklets. While it wasn't exactly a missile he'd been granted, it would do as he pivoted and pointed his hand at another part of the wall, where he somehow knew some of the Zerg Hydralisks were hiding but not burrowed.

(Elsewhere)

She fell back, her cheek aflame with pain as her brother approached her, his eyes flaring with both anger and betrayal, but she stood up and against him, "I will not let you kill him in this fashion, brother."

"You ignorant … lower being. Do you have any idea how many problems he is going to cause us? What kind of problems we will have if Tsunami is allowed to get her hands on The Key?" His flowery speech and decorum were gone, his anger robbing him of his mask, "How about what will happen to US if The Key is allowed out of our domain?"

She stood firm, the pain in her cheek becoming more and more numb by the second, "I know what is to come with this act, brother, and I must say that of all of the possible scenarios, this is the best – the First Evil will not enter this domain, Glorificus cannot alter the reality any more than she already has and, for the first time in eons, we may have to actually work for our place in the hierarchy. I have gone on with your plans for long enough, brother, and I draw the line here – I will not allow you to manipulate the mortals and Champions as you see fit."

He sneered at her, "You were always too soft-hearted for this job, sister, and now I see what must be done in order for our ultimate plan to come to fruition." He raised a hand at her, a hand that was blazing with pure power, "Goodbye, sister."

She closed her eyes, awaiting the blast that would end her life, but that blast never came as a power washed over her and the entire area – it was a power of both benevolence and of wisdom, but also of anger and divine range. Daddy was home, and he didn't feel very happy.

(Tenchi-verse)

Tsunami and Washu both jerked their heads in the direction of the dimensional door that led to Xander's lab, both knowing that the barrier was still there, but both knew that the energy that were both feeling was that of the Creator; if HE was getting involved, then something was most definitely up … or had gone wrong.

(Sunnydale Library)

Red flopped onto the bench that Faith had found herself on and groaned, "Did you feel that, too?"

Faith nodded, holding her temples even as B came back around and English helped Ms. C back on her feet – they'd been leveled by a feeling of pure power not more than five minutes ago, something that had come from not only inside the building, but had felt like it had come from everywhere, "Yeah. Any clue who did that?"

Red shook her head and massaged her temples, "Not really. So, can we talk?"

"About?"

"Xander." Faith stiffened even as Red went on, "Look, I know you like him and all, and … and I want to say I wish you luck." She turned and looked at her, her face very serious, "I know it seems kinda obvious about how much of a thing I used to have for him, but hear me out – I love him, but I know that he and I wouldn't work out, and while I'm not thrilled at some of the choices he's made in the past, I know that he's trying to do good, and so are you."

"Oh … kay."

Red nodded, "That aside, I get the feeling that something big is about to happen around here, and if we all survive, there's going to be a decision made that we might not like."

Faith arched an eyebrow at her, "You saying we're gonna buy the farm or something?"

This got an emphatic shake of Red's head, "No! I'm just saying … enjoy it while you can."

Faith looked at her like she'd gone crazy, but the nodded – she and Xander weren't going to grow old together, have kids, and shit like that because she was the Slayer and probably wouldn't live that long, but at least while she had him, she resolved that she was going to have fun with him, that much was for sure … and then another wave hit them and all she knew was darkness.

(Xander's Lab)

He was hopping around, literally, from one foot to another as he fried Zerg after Zerg, making them blow up nice and big even as he felt the drain on himself begin to take it's toll – he knew that someone had done something to him to give him this kind of power, and he was going to use it for whatever it was worth even as his armor neared completion of it's repair, recharge and rearmament cycle (he'd have to remember to thank Washu for lending him those power storage units, which allowed him to store enough energy to recharge his tanks and make a full load of missiles before they were drained – maybe she'd like a potted plant or something).

Naturally, that is when he felt the power begin to slip away from him and felt as if his body had become a creation of lead – immobile, completely unmanageable and lacking anything resembling energy as he slumped to the ground; oh yeah, he was definitely hitting a down time and it was going to be a doozy.

That, of course, was when a wave of power hit him and knocked him out, cold.

(Elsewhere)

"Now, I leave you two in charge of this realm for only a few millennia and in that short amount of time, you manage to twist around what I want and almost destroy it?" He walked in front of his two 'children', pausing long enough to heal the female from her brother's attack, and then resumed pacing, "I mean, what would have happened if I hadn't decided to come back and check on you two?"

"It's all her fault, Father! She's too soft-hearted to rule over human."

"It's his fault, Father! He's too pig-headed and has delusions of grandeur over ruling humans."

He looked at the pair of them and sighed – they were both right in some respects, but also very wrong in others, "You, son, are right that she is a bit of a soft touch, but she also knows that you cannot RULE an entire race of beings that have Free Will. You, daughter, are right that he's gotten a big head over this entire thing, but you also need to learn that while you must allow them a chance to grow, you must guide the humans with a firm hand."

Both of them looked down and sighed," Yes, Father."

"Good. Now, son, would you mind explaining to me exactly WHY you let the ZERG into this realm? I'm quite curious to know why you've ignored one of my first rules of this domain."

"The White … Alexander Harris has messed with the plan for this realm far too much already, Father, and if he is successful in his defection to Lady Tsunami, then we shall lose The Key."

He rolled his eyes, "Is that all? Son, I know that boy rather well – souls like him don't come along every day, and if I recall correctly, he was NEVER loyal to you in the first place, so he cannot 'defect' to anyone." He frowned for a second, though, "I must say, though, that the issue of The Key is a tad worrisome, so I will take care of it personally."

His 'son' nodded, "Very well, Father. Now, what of my sister's involvement in this? She leant him some of her power in order to destroy the Zerg, another clear violation of your standing orders."

"True. Well, daughter? What have you to say for yourself?"

She looked him straight in the eye, her own eyes full of love, fear and even a touch of steel, "I did what I believed was right, Father. My brother was about to destroy a balance that we have long since tried to achieve, while I was trying to salvage at least some of it."

"And how would saving the life of one mere human do that, sister?" He sighed as his 'son' began to glare at his sister, "His life is insignificant compared to our own survival."

"Stop being so short-sighted, brother. There is no life that is 'insignificant', and in case you've forgotten, there are a grand total of four entities that are capable of harming us and one of them is in the room with us!" To be honest, the female Oracle had never exactly been one to stand up to her brother, but with the way things were going, she was going to lay him out, which is probably what he needed, "Father, The First Evil and The Source are far more dangerous to us than Alexander is, and if we follow your plan, then The Source will be allowed to breach it's dimension and The First Evil will wreak havoc for the rest of eternity in ALL dimensions!" He watched as she drew her arm back and slapped her brother, who spun around several times before righting himself, "Face it, I'm right, you're wrong, and deal with it!"

"Children? Might I have a word for a moment?" Both Oracles shut up instantly and looked more than a little embarrassed, but there was a healthy dose of anger in the male's look as well as some smugness in the female's, "Now, son, your sister has a very good point – no life is insignificant, and I believe that you have lost sight of that, so I'm going to see that you relearn that lesson. You, daughter, also need to learn a few things, so I am banishing you both to the mortal realm for a time. So let it be written, so let it be done." With a flash, both Oracles were gone from his sight and he had to smile at his parting shot to them – it had been one of his favorite movies, after all.

Harold Meers, no relation to Warren Meers, was a doctor in a slum and ran a free clinic – his funding came from several benefactors that watched the survival rate of his patients, so if that went down due to his non due diligence, his funding was cut, or rather, his pay was cut and someone else's was raised.

Diana Weems was sentenced to an Anger Management course to help her with her problem with bottling up her anger and allowing it to explode out at inopportune times – she was always a touch on the 'too nice' side and, with help, she could learn how to be m ore assertive.

Sometimes, it was good to be HIM, but this wasn't one of them as He had to find someone else to run the place while his 'kids' were downstairs and nobody was stepping up to want to do the job, even from within his most trusted council of friends, "I tell ya, I get no respect."

(Xander's Lab)

"Ow." He felt someone shaking his shoulder even as his head hammered, "If you aren't an insanely beautiful GP officer, a dark-haired Slayer, a blue-haired goddess or her chibi, I'm going to be seriously angry at you." He cracked his eyes open and, after the initial discomfort, his vision cleared to show not only Tsunami, but Sasami, Mihoshi and Faith as well, which made him blink again, but soon all but Tsunami were gone, "Hi."

She smiled at him, "Hello – how are you feeling?"

"Like hammered cabbit dung." He sat up and grimaced as his body protested royally at the movement he was forcing it to do, "What happened?"

"A spat between the Oracles, who were masking as The Powers That Be – what you're feeling right now is the aftereffects of having been granted some power from the female Oracle for a short time."

His eyes narrowed, "The Zerg?"

"An idea of the male's to get rid of you." She smirked at him slightly and he figured that his personality and humor were starting to rub off on her, "Apparently you've been enough of a pain in his side to want to get rid of."

"I'm flattered." He got to his feet and stretched out, yawning as he did, but then took note of something, "Tsunami, why are you wearing pajamas with little Ryo-ohkis and carrots all over them?"

She blushed lightly and held her face high, "Even a goddess needs her sleep on occasion."

"Oh, so you sleep about a second a day?"

She smiled at him, "Be careful with that flirting of yours, Xander – I may start to take you seriously about it. Still, thank you for the compliment." She helped him down to his lab and it was there that he sat down heavily next to his armor, "Now, how are you feeling?"

"Aside from sore, I feel okay. I do have a question for you, though – what was in that water you gave me?" Xander felt his brows draw together even as Tsunami blushed again – this was going to be interesting.

AN: Sorry about the choppiness of this chapter, but I promise the next one, when I get around to it, will be better. Happy Holidays, and R&R, AR.


	7. Chapter 7

Suiting Up 7/?

AN: I don't remember what the battle suits look like, only what I can dredge up from my memories – they may be wrong.

(One Month Later)

"You were too slow, now get up and assume the first position again." Xander groaned as he stood up, the back of his head throbbing like Oz's amp while in his rendition of 'Fuel', but he knew that if he was going to get this right, he was going to need to work at it. It had been an entire month since the male Oracle had attacked him with those damned Zerg shits and the female Oracle, for some unknown reason, had leant him a fraction of her power to fight said entities, but the weirdness of that night had not stopped there – Tsunami's gift to him, the Water of Life, had not only kicked in to help his immune system fight off the toxic effects of the Zerg compounds, but it had also slowed his aging WAY down in that he would, barring massive and truly fatal damage, live for a few dozen centuries more … and it had also had a very unforeseen effect on his body due to the temporary power enhancement.

It had been only two days after the fact that he had first noticed the dull throbbing in his left hand, a sensation that, at first, was more than a little annoying but later grew to be unbearable, and it was while he was on an unarmored patrol with Faith and Buffy that a new ability had sprouted in the form of a beam of solid light, much like the one that Ryoko could produce and Tenchi as well, with the Master Key, and the vampire that was directly in front of him at that time would have attested to it's very destructive capabilities were he not now dust due to said destructive capabilities – Buffy and Faith had both accused him of holding out on them, but when it was revealed that he didn't know what was going on, they had insisted that he contact Washu and she had only shrugged at him, calling it a 'light sword'. This had, of course, raised the question of what, exactly, a 'light sword' was, at which point Professor Washu had shown up and had taught them that it was just what it sounded like, a sword made of 'light', read energy, that was produced by the individual either at will or by accident – it took time to learn to control this ability without mechanical intervention, but that she had the utmost confidence in his abilities … and that he would start sword training with Yosho the next morning, a Saturday. Incidentally, Buffy had gotten her nose out of joint when Washu said that, no, she could not give the blonde Slayer a light sword and when said Slayer threw a hissy fit, she was promptly turned into a water sprite – Faith had laughed her ass off until Washu turned her into a sprite as well and the pair of them, after having been returned to their human forms, had been very respectful since then.

"You're not doing too badly, Xander." He turned and looked at Tenchi, who wore a very carefully hidden smirk, "When I was this far in my training, my head looked like a bruised melon."

"I'll show you a bruised melon you mouthy, wishy-washy little…" Xander growled under his breath as he got into position and held the boken at the proper position, watching the old man like a hawk – he'd been told that Yosho was a prince, and older than Ayeka, but more to the fact he was also the best swordsman around, so if Xander had to learn from someone, it was best to learn from him. Unfortunately, though, he liked to enforce his teachings with a solid knock to the back of the head when the student wasn't ready or correct, and that meant scrambled brains and quickly-learned lessons.

As the lesson went on again, his mind went back to the decisions that, every day after school, he would train with Yosho until dark and then help clean up, leaving only some time to get his homework done, eat and get some sleep, so both Buffy and Faith were having to take up the slack and seemed happy about it, though it wasn't clear if it was that he was out of the way or if they got to kill more things – Slayers were like that, sometimes. Even as he blocked one shot and parried another that came in like lightning, he felt the ebb and flow of his body's energy and moved with it, knowing that it would not steer him wrong … and then got whacked in the back of the head again, only this time not by Yosho, but by the peanut gallery, Tenchi, and with a hardened lump of clay, but this didn't stop him as Yosho had directed his grandson to try and throw him off-balance during the spar and he had only done so once, which accounted for a rather nasty bruise just below his left temple.

Xander's mind came back to him quickly as Yosho, with his nearly-telepathic way, knew he wasn't there mentally and lashed out at him, which made Xander react and block the shot and return one in kind, but that shot was blocked and the pair continued to go back and forth – the old goat wasn't much on leniency in his training and, on some level, Xander could appreciate that, but not when it was his hide that was being bruised left, right and center.

It was Yosho who stopped first, his face a flat mask and boken at ready, but he nodded, "Good – you have learned to let your instincts reign when necessary. Sadly, though, you will never be the swordsman that my grandson is – you are a more combat-oriented person, while he is one who uses his power to avoid a fight." The former First Prince shrugged and put his wooden sword at his side, which Xander mimicked, "Still, that is not an entirely bad thing – two ways of doing the same tasks and solving the same problems."

Xander bowed to the older man but snapped back up at the slightest feeling of wind and blocked the incoming strike that was meant to put another bruise, a matching one, on his right temple, "Thank you, sensei, but you need to make sure you don't give yourself away with tells." Yosho merely arched an eyebrow at that and Xander jerked his head to the side, causing the lump of clay that Tenchi hurled at him to sail right by and hit the 'old' man directly in the forehead, startling him slightly, "And your grandson needs to work on his aim."

Yosho smiled slightly, "Yes, he does. Tenchi! Finish the floors and then start working on your aim – it is terrible."

Xander pulled back with a smile even as Tenchi groaned, "But won't that dirty the floors again?"

"Yes, it will … and you can clean them again after that." Xander walked away, putting his practice sword up where it was supposed to even as Tenchi went to work on the floors – he enjoyed the family dynamic of the Misaki clan, even if it was more than a little strange, and it almost made him miss his own family. Well, that wasn't true – he missed his mother on occasion, but not Tony, who had been put in jail for the next thirty four years on all charges; mom had called him at least once a week, to check up on him and to try and convince him to come out East after he graduated to make his bones and be with The Family, but he had let her down gently, saying that organized crime, even if it was a legit front, wasn't his cup of tea.

It was about ten minutes later, as he walked down from the shrine to the outside of the home that Yosho caught up with him, a small smile on his face, "Xander, I would like to test out your skills in combat, so I have a small task for you."

Xander tensed up, looking around while accepting the practice sword that Yosho handed him, "And that would be, sensei?"

From above him, a voice sounded out, speaking in the third person, "To defeat Ryoko, The Space Pirate." He dove forwards and tucked into a roll, coming up to his feet even as Ryoko landed, dressed in her red battle dress and holding a wooden sword herself, "The old man thinks that you can take me, for some odd reason. I'm kinda curious about that myself, actually, so let's get cracking!" With that, she charged forwards and the fight was on.

(Kitchen)

Ayeka watched as her sister finished another batch of her delicious cookies and reached in for one of the cooler ones, but the top of her hand was assaulted by the flat of the wooden spoon that Sasami was using for stirring the dough, "No, Ayeka – you have to wait like everyone else." It was amazing that, even without looking, Sasami could protect her culinary creations and do so with an ease that almost made Ayeka jealous.

"One day, I am going to learn how to cook and then I can do that to you, sister." Even as she walked out of the kitchen and onto the porch, Ayeka was sure she heard something to the effect of 'yeah, and Ryo-ohki is giving up carrots permanently' from Sasami, but decided to ignore it even as her eyes fell on her brother, Yosho, and his newest student, 'Xander'; it was no secret among them that she did not like Xander at all, mostly due to the fact that he, like Ryoko, refused to give her the respect that was due a princess, saying that she had to give respect in order to get it, but also that Sasami had developed a rather unhealthy interest in the young man from both an alternate reality and America to boot! He was in possession of a smart mouth, an odd sense of humor, a horrid fashion sense, and on top of that he had the unmitigated gall to treat Lord Tenchi as 'one of the boys' – this, she decided, was not to be tolerated, and even as Ryoko dropped from the sky, stating the purpose of the duel, she felt a small smile cross her lips, thinking that the lout would get his soon.

When he got to his feet, she was more than a little surprised at the way he not only held the boken with confidence, but also seemed to lose all of his rather oafish qualities and morph into someone that was … darker, more war-like, and at that point Ryoko struck, obviously curbing both her power and speed as she slashed at Xander's torso. For his part, he merely arched his back more, dipping his head back, and allowed the strike to go over his head before snapping back up straight and attack Ryoko in the upper arm as he spun away, coming back into position as Ryoko lashed back with a counterstrike, which he caught and deflected before striking again, only to have his strike blocked. The pair of them went back and forth like that for nearly a minute, their feet never moving from their positions on the ground until Ryoko lashed at his feet, making him jump over her strike and he lashed out with a strike of his own that hit Ryoko in the hair, making her jerk back and feel the top of her head.

"Hey, what're you trying to do? Buzz cut me?"

"It'd be an improvement." Ayeka smirked slightly as the barb struck home and did its job – angering Ryoko, who charged forwards, allowing Xander to spin and let her pass and smacking her on the backside with his boken, "Ole'!"

"Why you little snot!" Ayeka blinked as Ryoko charged him again, her sword slashing but that stopped as he sidestepped, ducked and laid the edge of his weapon against her throat as she passed, "Huh?"

"I win." He gave the pirate an insufferable grin as he stepped back, Yosho smiling slightly, "So, sir, how was that?"

"Not bad – you made her get angry, which made her movements more easily manipulated." High praise, coming from her brother, but something else was there, "I do need to ask you, though, not to hit ladies on their posteriors like that – it isn't nice."

"And it hurts, too!" Ryoko's snarled comment got a response of Xander poking his tongue out at her, which made her even angrier, but not so angry that she started trouble, so she just huffed and stormed off.

"Not bad, Alexander," she said, approaching the pair of them and making sure to use the one name she knew would irritate him, "but beating a lowly space pirate is not a reason to get cocky."

He arched an eyebrow at her and didn't rise to her bait, "'Lowly'? She's the best there is at what she does, Ayeka – I got the better of her because she made a rookie mistake that she wouldn't make in a real combat situation." He looked over his weapon even as she silently simmered before he looked back up at her, "Why? Do you think you can do better?"

Something inside her mind snapped and she summoned her mini-log guardians, a veritable forest of them, around her and unleashed their shocking power at him before he had a chance to defend himself, knocking him to the ground and incapacitating him, "Learn your place, you ill-bred commoner! You will treat me with the respect that I deserve."

"And what kind of respect is that, Ayeka?" She blinked at the tone that was used with her and turned around to find Sasami standing not a meter behind her, still in her apron and holding her wooden spatula, but something else was off – her eyes were hard, glowing, even, and power poured off of her like water out of the faucet, and it was then at it hit her. Gone were Sasami's royal markings, her bisected and inverted triangle on her forehead, and in its place were a pair of golden dots … which meant that she was not looking at Sasami herself.

"Lady … Tsunami?" The figure in question merely crossed her arms and tapped a single foot as she heard her brother check over Xander's body, the wooden spatula looking quite threatening by then.

"Partially – why is it that because he treats you as you treat him, you find it necessary to attack him in a way that may KILL him?"

Ayeka winced at the scathing tone her sister / her goddess spoke with, but beyond that, there was something else there in the tone – worry, "Why do you care about a lowly mortal, Lady Tsunami? What is he to you?"

"My guardian and champion." This floored Ayeka more than she cared to admit, but anything else she or anyone was going to say was cut off with an animalistic snarl from Xander's position, which she spun around to see … and instantly wished she had not – gone was the student, the goof, the occasional pain in her buttocks, and in his place stood the rage, the lack of civility … the killer that she had seen only twice before while in space, and she felt fear, a fear that was well-founded as he stood up straighter, practice sword still in hand.

"A … Alexander?" He snarled in return, the wooden sword exploding not two inches above where his hand had gripped and from the severed area sprung a blade of pure black energy, pulsing the same eerie way that his now-black eyes were doing so, and a wave of energy washed over his body, changing his clothing as it did. Gone were the simple pants and loose shirt, and in it's place was a form-fitting black bodysuit, thick for protection yet forgiving for maximum mobility, black gloves and boots taking form on his hands and feet as well; the energy came back and from the feet up it left gunmetal gray patches of armor on the bodysuit around his knees, waist in a belt, up his abdomen and pectorals, on the backs of his gloves and as bracers, and finally covering his back and shoulders before going up past his face, leaving a pair of black marks on each side of his face at his jaw before disappearing.

"Hmm, I was wondering when this would happen." She didn't turn to even acknowledge the voice of Lady Tsunami as she walked up and looked the dark-clad young man in front of her, speaking again before adding in slyly, "A little darker than I envisioned, but suitably scary, don't you think, Ayeka?"

"Yes, quite."

(Xander's mind)

It was like nothing he had ever felt before as far as pain went – in retrospect, he assumed it was what a fly felt like when he, she or it hit a bug zapper; he'd first learned how fun it was to push Ayeka's buttons and how easily they were pushed, which is why he and Ryoko often did it as much as they did, but apparently he had pushed her just a touch too far this time and she'd turned on those damned mini-logs of hers.

About this time a familiar voice hit his ears and he could tell Tsunami was more than a little annoyed with either him or Ayeka, probably both, and then Ayeka asked a somewhat pointed and personal question, "Why do you care about this mortal, Lady Tsunami? What is he to you?"

Tsunami's voice was almost glacial as she spoke, "My guardian and champion," but that was only for those who could hear it because her voice also entered his mind, "Now, Xander – let the power free and do not curb it." So, with that, he snarled and released the restrains on the swell of power he felt, getting to his feet as he did and glaring at Ayeka while holding the boken in his left hand.

He tried not to flinch as darkness descended on his vision, like someone had turned the brightness on a television set down by half, and then the practice sword in his hand exploded out in black energy, but by then the sensation he was feeling was almost … natural in nature, and he let it go ... and go it did. He felt his clothes constrict and become more sturdy, his shoes becoming boots and his hands becoming encased in gloves, but then the weight of armor could be felt on his chest, knees, arms and waist – it was unlike anything he had ever felt as his vision cleared again so he could see that his energy sword was still there, he was still in front of Ayeka and she looked ready to wet her linens, so he suppressed a laugh and snarled just a little more.

"You see, Ayeka," Tsunami stated even as Sasami's body walked forwards, "he isn't your typical guardian, but rather one for a new era. Besides, I think he looks quite fetching in his uniform." He suppressed a blush even as he lowered the tip of the sword from it's at-ready position to where it was across his body, the tip touching just in front of his right foot, but then Sasami shook her head and the twin golden dots on her head were gone, replaced by two blue-green triangles, point down, "Huh? Hey, Xander, why are you dressed like that?"

"Apparently this is my battle uniform, Sasami." He extinguished his sword with a simple thought and felt the entire process reverse in just a fraction of a second, and then he was standing there with his clothes were they were supposed to be, and the handle of the sword in his left hand having changed slightly to have several engravings, "Cool."

She smiled at him, "Very. Now, what happened?" Before he could open his mouth, though, she jerked her head off to the side and cried, "Oh, no! My cookies," and took off for the kitchen, leaving him, Yosho and Ayeka there in the courtyard.

Everyone was silent for a moment, but he broke that silence, "Was that weird to anyone else but me?" Yosho shook his head negative, but Ayeka nodded and he sighed, "Oh, good. Now, are you going to hit me with the bug zapper thing again, or are you going to play nice?"

"I will try, but only if you stop deliberately goading me – it is bad enough with Ryoko doing that, so I don't need you doing it as well."

He sighed, "Fine." With that, he turned and went into the house, muttering, "Take all my fun, why don't you."

(2 hours later)

He found himself on the dock, nursing the back of his hand while the cookie taste in his mouth slowly went away – he had found Sasami trying to save a batch of cookies that she had left in the oven just a few minutes too long, and when he tried to relieve her of the 'rejects', he fell subject to her martial law of the kitchen and was punished with several slaps of the spatula to the back of his hand, which hurt. The worst part, however, was that he was exiled to the dock and without any cookies!

"You too, huh?" He turned and saw Ryoko, dressed in a pair of pants and a blouse, floating towards him, her cat-like eyes pained and the back of her right hand was red, "I'll tell ya, I feel sorry for whoever married her – she may act all cute and everything, but rile her up and it's gonna hurt."

"Yeah, but now to the important part – did you get any cookies?" Ryoko shook her head and he sighed, "Damn. Well, you still mad from earlier?"

She shook her head again, "Nah, I made a mistake, getting angry like that, and I paid for it. Still, I have to admit that your little show with Ayeka made it all worth while, though. First time?"

He nodded, "Yeah, and it felt really weird, too. Who picks the battle suits out?"

She shrugged, "Dunno, but at least you get pants – mine's a dress without full tights, only thigh-highs, garters and boots." He arched a brow at her and she shrugged, "Hey, sometimes it gets drafty, you know?"

"I'd bet, but still, skin-tight?" It wasn't that he was modest or anything (what he wore under his battle armor had long since taken care of that), but some parts of his anatomy were plainly visible that he wished were not.

Ryoko smirked at that, "Personally, I'd think Sasami had something to do with that."

"Not Tsunami?"

"Nah – She only shows up when necessary, but kiddo has a somewhat weird imagination … and coming from me, that's saying something." Ryoko stretched out, something that was almost feline in nature, and yawned, "Still, she likes ya, so that must count for something."

"Yeah, that means that both she and her mother get to try and powder my ribs." Ryoko chuckled at that but soon stopped, looking around somewhat worriedly, which made him reach for what was left of his practice sword, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know – something's … off." With that, she shifted into her battle dress and he switched over to his own, finding it to come rather easily this time and both ignited their swords, "Ten to one they're here for Ayeka."

"No bet – ten gets you twenty they're her for Sasami." Even as he turned, he was surprised to see a pair of hash marks on each side of his jaw in the reflection of the lake as he and Ryoko both backed up towards land, and he wondered just when those had happened.

"Nah, that's a sucker bet." They actually made it to land and that was when a trio of beams of light appeared on the dock in front of them, sending them both into ready positions, which they fell out of when the forms became familiar – Emperor Asuza, Emperor of Jurai, and his Queens, Empresses Misaki and Funhao, all of them looking quite unfazed at their greeting.

Ryoko looked at him, "Well, maybe we both win?"

He shook his head and deactivated his battle suit and sword, "Nah – two no-bets. Emperor, Ladies." Misaki smiled at him brightly, waving delightedly, while Funhao was more reserved in her nod, but Asuza merely scowled at him, which wasn't anything new.

"Hiya, guys. What's wrong?" Ryoko, mistress of tact, struck again but was ignored even as the front door of the house slammed open and a blue-topped blur exited the door, which Xander was forced to jump out of the way of as it charges Empress Misaki.

"MOMMY!"

"Sasami, my little baby!" The pair of bone-crushers embraced even as Ayeka came out of the house at a more sedate pace, greeting her mother and family in much the same fashion, though she was somewhat worried about why they were on Earth … a worry they alls hared.

It was Tenchi who finally broached the question and he looked very nervous about it, "So, what's up? Another assassination plot?"

Asuza snorted, "Of course not. My queens wanted to visit Earth for an undisclosed reason and, as they were coming here anyway, I decided that it was time for you and I to have a very long 'chat' about your intentions with my eldest daughter." With that, Emperor Asuza draped his left arm over Tenchi's shoulders and lead him away for 'the talk', leaving Xander alone amongst some of the most powerful females in that section of the multi-verse – frankly, he was tempted to go find a rock to crawl under and hide for a while, as no good could come of it.

(Later)

Misaki had to repress a giggle as Xander, who was currently sitting between her youngest daughter and his sister Empress, animatedly described what had been going on for the past few months – it was rather cute the way the young man was judging the distance between his current position and all of the possible points of escape (windows, doors, walls and the like) and in the back of her mind she made a mental note to train him in the diplomatic form of escaping from an undesirable situation. It was at that point that Sasami began to state just what Xander had been doing for the past month, which piqued her interest as there were not a great many people who were capable of creating an energy sword of any type, "And today he and Ryoko fought, but he won and then Ayeka hit him with her logs."

This struck her as odd, "Why would she ever do that?"

"Apparently I annoyed her once too often with my 'churlish lack of respect for a lady of her station'; personally, I've told her she needs to lose the snobbish act, but apparently I am too low-born for my opinions to count for much." She narrowed her eyes for a moment but he apparently saw that and held up his hands, "I know it was a little out of line on my part, but I've always said that to get respect, you give respect."

"Oh, she knows that lesson very well, Xander, but apparently she needs to re-learn it." Misaki turned to where Ayeka had been hiding for most of the afternoon, her room, but then looked back, shaking her head, "Another time, perhaps. Now, Xander, why do you not use your sword with your armor?"

He frowned and then sighed, "No can do, Empress – first time I did that I was not in my armor and it worked fine, but next time I tried it, it ripped through my armor like Ryo-ohki through a pile of carrots." The cabbit in question poked it's head up from the lap of her daughter at the mention of both her name and it's food of choice, but when no attention was paid to her, she went back to sleep, "Needless to say, I was less than pleased."

Funhao smiled at this, "And speaking of your armor, are you sure there is no way that you could provide us with schematics of it? We could be most generous for them." Misaki smiled at her sister's lack of preamble to her question – after seeing what his armor was capable of, it had been made paramount among them that they acquire a working prototype or at least blueprints of it at any cost, but he had yet to cave to any request, no matter how … appealing … it may have been. Exactly how the Princess of Halvenist, a virgin at 17, as pure a driven snow and very physically appealing, had gotten into his sealed room was a bit of a mystery, but the investigation was still on-going and her father was more than a little irked that she had failed in 'her assignment'.

Xander gave Funhao a smile, "Not bad – you need to bat the eyes a little more and put a little soul into them, but otherwise you have the 'puppy dog eyes' down pat. Of course, seeing as I helped perfect the maneuver," he went on even as Misaki giggled at Funhao's somewhat irked expression, as that very same look made their husband cave each and every time, "I can be a little forgiving."

Misaki still continued to hold back a giggle even as Sasami turned to Xander and apparently hit him with the same look, "Like this?" She lost her bout with the giggles as he proceeded to melt in place.

(Elsewhere)

She watched the small group with a look that could have frozen a planet in its proverbial tracks – they had been plotting against her for a long time and Tokimi knew that it was only a matter of time before they attacked her directly. It was time for her to take precautions against The Powers, Tsunami and Washu … long past time, actually.

(Later – Sunnydale Library)

Even as he walked into the library, he could feel the tension in the room go through the roof and it made him stop and scan the area – Faith was being held by Linda, Giles and Willow were speaking in tones that were meant to calm Buffy down from where she was angrily pacing back and forth, Oz and Cordelia were off to the side, looking through a briefcase and, as one, they all looked up at him, "What happened."

"Faith killed a man." He looked over at Buffy, who bit out the short sentence, and heard Faith begin to cry even harder into Linda's shoulder, "I mean, she just drove a wooden stake through his heart!"

Xander blinked his eyes once, twice, and then sighed, turning to Oz, "Help?"

The werewolf looked up from the file he was reading, "Deputy Mayor ran into a fight between Slayers and vamps, got staked by Faith when Buffy threw him at her." Score one for Oz, master of stoicism and calm delivery.

Xander looked over at Linda, who nodded, and then over at Buffy, "He deliberate ran towards the fight?"

Buffy took a breath and nodded, "Yes."

"And you threw him at her?"

Another breath followed by a less-assured, "yes."

Xander took a breath and shrugged as he let it out, "Collateral damage as an unintended casualty of his own stupidity - no harm, no foul." That said, he walked over towards Faith to sit next to her, but didn't get too far as Buffy materialized in front of him, as if by magic, looking incredulously at him.

"'No harm, no foul'? How?!"

Xander sighed and shrugged again, "What person in their right mind would run TOWARDS a fight between a pair of Slayers and vampires? If he was stupid enough to do that, I wouldn't lose any sleep over his death."

"He had a soul!" (AN: I'm sorry, but I had to use it for someone else other than Deadboy.)

Xander rolled his eyes as, once again, her defense for some things she didn't like came into play, "Yes, maybe, but do you know WHY he ran at you?"

Cordelia took that point to speak up, "It's all here in his briefcase – Mayor Wilkins is some kind of an evil guy who wants to ascend to demonhood. He's been planning it for a long time now, like, a hundred years or so."

Xander frowned at this, "Anything else? Records and such?"

She shook her head, "Nah, just IRS stuff."

"You're taking this remarkably well, Xander." He turned and looked at Giles, who was frowning at him, "Faith did just kill a man."

"By accident, a death which Buffy is also responsible for by the fact she threw him at Faith – we can cry over it later, after we've dealt with this new problem." Xander felt like a real son of a bitch saying it, but unfortunately, it was the truth, so he spared a second to walk over to Faith, hug her even as she hugged Linda, and then walked over to where Oz and Cordy were, "Let me see those tax records, Cordy – we may have an easy solution to this."

AN: Okay, here's another chapter in the can. Happy New Years to you all, and R&R, AR.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Alright, short chapter in which some problems get solves, some tension and a little comedic 'therapy'.

AN2: A note to all writers of every caliber – never go to a party, get drunk, and write out a possible story line (this actually explains most of this chapter), because invariable there will be a sober individual there that will have it on film. As I am now mostly sober, learn from my mistakes.

8/?

(Training Area – Sunnydale Forest)

His balance was precarious, at best, from his position in his training area, but it was necessary for him to learn not only to do things unconsciously, but to also be aware of his surroundings, just as Yosho had tried to teach him. Of course, when you had a Slayer, a Wicca, a Watcher and a Techno pagan hurling water balloons at you, that was a tough order to fill, especially when the Wicca took great pleasure in trying to reduce your chances to reproduce, some day – he'd have to remember to get Willow for that, especially when it was most likely that she would actually be embarrassed. He had asked all of the Scoobies to help him out, but Faith, given her currently state of distress, Linda, with Faith's well-being kept in mind, and with Oz and Cordy with previous engagements, he was left with Buffy, Willow, Jenny and Giles to train with in his 'pole pit', as he called it. His job was to jump from pole to pole, each pole at varying heights and with a diameter ranging from either three inches to eight inches, and their job was to knock him off … and they were winning – Buffy could do it easily enough, but he accounted it to her being a Slayer, and the others had varying degrees of success, but he added the fact that he was in his battle suit, with energy sword, and blindfolded to the exercise to make it more challenging.

It had taken them all of a week to not only look into what the Mayor was doing, but to also set a plan into motion that would, hopefully, take care of the problem, and it had several benefits in that most of the upper echelon of the Police Department, City Management and business men in the area had all been rounded up by State and Federal officers on charges ranging from non-payment of taxes, something that hit Cordy's family, but not her, and illegal business practices to outright murder and federal fraud charges, something that had hit the Sunnydale PD like a star cruiser landing on a frog – the only one to actually escape the entire debacle was the Mayor himself, Richard Wilkins III, and even he was under the microscope, but he also appeared to be smarter than everyone else gave him credit for and had covered his tracks immaculately There was little else to do except to go to school, slay and to get through their lives, but that was easier said than done with Buffy always harping on Faith about her killing Alan Finch, which had gotten to the point that Faith had actually snapped and come within an inch of killing Buffy, whom had been saved by her own inability to pay attention and let her head fall forwards and hit the table, which kept the crossbow bolt from hitting her between the eyes. Giles and Linda had both been talking to her about it, but Faith appeared to not want help at all, wanting to work it out for herself, and while Buffy was lamenting her own destroyed hair, Cordy, Willow and, surprisingly, Oz had all torn into her about riding Faith like that before he could get to her.

His mind was brought back to reality as whom he presumed to be Buffy hit him, once again, in the face with another water balloon and, quite frankly, he was getting as tired of that as he was of Willow hitting him in the crotch, which is why he ripped off his blindfold and turned to glare at the direction the balloon came from, finding that, indeed, it was Buffy, "Alright, damn it, that's enough!"

She smirked at him, bouncing another water balloon in her off hand, "What? Can't take a little distraction from me? Or is it only Faith you can think about?"

Sword still ignited, he triggered a new and, thankfully easier to control, option on his battle suit and took to the air, landing in front of her in only two seconds, much to her shock, and disarmed her with a swipe of his sword, popping the balloon, "I don't know what your problem is, Buffy, but if you're trying to kill me, you're going to have to try a lot harder than that."

Even as she drew herself up he could hear Willow, Giles and Jenny shuffling off to one side, knowing that this was probably going to be bad, "My problem with you is that you're taking Faith's side on this entire thing! You've constantly been with me since day one and now you're abandoning me for a murderer!"

"Does the fact that I am my own person, capable of making my own choices, not register with you? Or that what she did was an accident?" He stepped forwards and extinguished his sword, his battle suit shifting back to his powered armor and then helmet popping up, "Or do you want me to bring up some of your own rather miraculous failures from the past?"

She snarled and flushed at the same time, "No, you will not! I admit to my mistakes, but they never …" she trailed off in her sentence even as she thought about what she was about to say, that none of her mistakes had gotten people killed – this was an argument that they'd had numerous times in the past week and, quite frankly, he was sick of it. "Never mind, though – I made a call that would cure all of this."

"What did you do, Buffy?" Xander didn't even look at Giles, having a good idea what had been done.

She smirked, "I called the Council, saying that Faith had killed someone – they're going to take care of – OMPH!" Buffy's head snapped back, hard, as something from Willow's position hit her right between the eyes, knocking her off balance enough to fall to the ground.

"You mean you tattled to the people you told to shove it to?" Willow stalked forwards, "Did you tell them the entire story?"

Buffy shook her head to clear it, "Yeah, I did."

"Why do I find that so hard to believe?" Xander sighed, and then smirked at her, "But that's beside the point – they aren't coming."

Both Buffy and Giles blinked at this, the latter speaking first, "And may I enquire, why not?"

"Because Travers isn't man enough or crazy enough to come here after everything that's happened … or don't you remember what happened during Buffy's little 'rite of passage', Giles?"

(Months before)

Xander smiled as the mass of flesh known as Quinton Travers began to quake and find it necessary to keep hold of his bodily functions, but that kind of fear was not unexpected when you hear a voice pronounce his want to kill you and not see a body to back up those claims, "Why Quinton, are you scared?"

From behind Quinton came a lower-London voice, one he identified as 'Ripper' easily enough, "'Course he is, guv! The ponce's never been one to stick around after a threat's been made, let alone have some bloke he can't see gut him like a trout."

"True enough." Xander triggered his cloaking device off and then triggered his blaster off in favor of extending his finger talons, "Now, you are going to call you men off and get Buffy the hell out of that test, or you never see another sunrise."

"And if I comply?"

"Then you leave and certain information I have about some of the Council's dealings over the decades doesn't ever come to light." Xander smiled and lifted his visor, "After all, do you want all the people to know who REALLY killed JFK?"

(Training Area)

Giles smiled slightly at the memory, "Yes, I do remember, Xander. I highly doubt that Travers will risk that type of exposure, regardless of the price."

Buffy gaped at the pair of them, "But … Angel got me out of the house."

Xander snorted, "Only after Jenny threatened him total removal of what passed for his sexual reproductive system. Not surprising, after all," he went on with a grin, "with the kinds of threats that the Romany clans made against said vampire about coming near you again."

Buffy's mouth dropped and worked several times, but nothing came out but choked gasps until she dropped to the ground, curling into a ball, "But, I'm right. She's a killer."

"So am I, Buff – care to try any of that shit with me?" He cracked open his armor and hopped out, in a full version of his 'under armor' outfit, showing no skin but his hands, neck and face, crouching about five feet in front of her, "You can't stand that your perfect little world is flawed, that people with souls are capable of evil, so they need to be destroyed … that makes you the worst kind of hypocrite there is, after what you tried to pull." With that, he hopped back into his armor, sealed it up, and stalked away to his lab, needing a shower, shave and some fresh clothes before going to try and talk some sense into Faith … something he didn't hold out much hope for.

(Later - Price Home)

Linda winced as yet another glass hit the wall with shattering force and, almost casually, changed the channel of the television from Masterpiece Theater to MTV – Xander had come over about ten minutes earlier to talk with Faith about what had happened, but that talk had lasted about ten seconds before she got defensive and started to hurl objects at him; for his part, Xander had appeared to have dodged each one, but if he managed to get out of this fight alive, she was going to insist that he clean up the mess that was left behind.

"I DON'T WANT YOU FUCKING HELP!" This statement was punctuated by a rather loud thump that rattled the glass doors leading to the back yard of the house.

"YOU'RE GETTING IT IF I HAVE TO KILL YOU TO DO IT!" Two more thumps were heard and then a shattering of what sounded to be the electric mixer.

"OH YEAH? YOU AND WHAT ARMY?" A final thump and then she heard what her mind processed as two bodies slamming together in an non-erotic way.

"I DON'T NEED AN ARMY!" There was another series of destructive crashes, thuds and howls of indignation, but then there was a silence … a silence that sent shivers down Linda's spine, but she dare not look in on the pair in fear of finding two mutilated bodies with each holding the other's throat. Finally, though, after ten long minutes, she could bear it no more and carefully made her way to the kitchen after turning off the television – what she found there wasn't what she expected and, yet, had been thinking she would see at some point or another.

Faith and Xander sat in the middle of her kitchen, a room that was only about ten feet wide and about half again as long, surrounded by broken dishes, dented and, occasionally, leaking cans of soups, vegetables and the odd piece of frozen meat – Faith had several cuts on her hands and neck, Xander with the same and a few large bruises as well, but all of that went away in the fact that Faith had her face buried into Xander's shirt, her shoulders heaving and he was doing his best to hold her to his chest, comfort her and to not cut himself in the process as she then picked up several large pieces of glass in Faith's hair. Together the pair of them sat, with Linda in the doorway, for nearly an hour, not a word being said as only the sound of the Elvis clock with the swinging hips, a clock that Faith insisted she buy with how 'wicked' it looked, chimed on the hour with the song 'Hound Dog' – Faith eventually stopped her body-wracking sobs and Xander apparently said to hell with it and had stopped being so antsy about the glass in her hair, the pair of them just sitting there and Linda idly found herself trying to think of the cost of the replacement dishes and food she was going to need to squeeze out of Xander.

Finally, it was Faith who spoke first, "I'm still a killer, Xand. I'm guilty."

"Only of being human, Faith, of making a mistake, and lest we both forget, my body count is easily twenty times that of yours, confirmed." Linda watched as he placed a small kiss on the top of her charge's head and came back with a shard of glass of his lip, which he picked out gingerly, "They won't touch you, and if they try I'm going to stand with you."

"Even against B?" She could hear the hope in Faith's voice and honestly hoped that Xander wasn't just saying what Faith needed to hear.

"Always – she's really starting to get on my nerves." Linda held back a snort at the tone of exasperation in Xander's voice even as he and Faith gingerly stood up – she'd seen him come close to killing the elder Slayer several times, but never quite doing it for some reason or another.

Faith looked around and winced at the damage done, "Man, we did a number on this place, didn't we?"

He nodded, "Yeah, looks like my parent's kitchen on Christmas Day, only there's two drunks on the floor, passed out, missing." He used his foot to clear a path towards the door and it was then that he seemed to notice her, "Oh, hi, Linda."

She smiled at him slightly, reaching out and picking a piece of glass off of his shoulder, "Xander – I hope you have your credit card with you for the damages done here."

He smiled slightly as Faith cursed almost-silently and picked up a can of her favorite snacks, fruit cocktail in heavy syrup, which had leaked all over the floor, "Yeah, I did – didn't think it'd get this far, though."

Linda held a reserved smile as she kept him in the doorway, folding out an old newspaper to catch falling glass, "I'm surprised that the authorities weren't called."

He snorted, "In Sunnyhell? Yeah, right, you betcha." He carefully shook off the bits of glass that were on his body and then she let him out into the living room while Faith did the same, finishing quickly and taking her place at his side, curled into a ball under his arm, "So, anything good on?"

AN: Not much to say for this part, only that this is all I could come up with – I'm curious at what my muse will put out next. R&R, AR.


	9. Chapter 9

9/?

AN: Relative point in the season is about SAT time, or just after (April or so)

(One Week Later)

Xander groaned as his back, once again, protested in the extreme with the abuse it was being put through – he'd rather face the Zerg, bare handed, or the entirety of the Jurian fleet with only a half-starved Ryo-ohki than to be where he was … shopping with Willow, Linda and Faith; somehow Oz had managed to wiggle out of the torture he was going through and, in the back of his mind, Xander made a note to sucker punch him once or twice to make up for it even as Willow gushed over a prom dress and Linda held one up to Faith for good measure. He was there strictly for 'the male point of view' and to serve as what a male would serve as when in a shopping expedition with more than one female, pack mule; where was the Hellmouth when you needed it?

"Ohmygod, look at this dress!" He groaned slightly from his position outside of the dressing rooms and wanted to cry even as Willow's voice floated over to where he was, quickly followed by a rustle of cloth as she fought her way through the racks to get to where he was, "Well? What do you think?"

It was an off-the-shoulder monstrosity with ruffles and lace and it was a God-awful pink color, "Two words, Wills – Lady Useless."

Willow scrunched up her nose at those words and looked down at the dress, as if dredging up the memory, "But … I'd look so good in it!"

He shrugged, "You wanted my unbiased opinion, Wills – if you wanted lip service, go to Oz." She gave him a smirk and he rolled his eyes, "Okay, bad choice of words, but you know what I mean. Just pick out something that screams … Willow."

She pouted at that and then sighed, "You mean the meek, old Willow?" He winced – was she having an identity crisis? "I mean, who do you like more, who I used to be … or who Rayne turned me into?"

He took a breath and let it out slowly, "Both, if all's fair – I like that you have more confidence, that you are more assertive, and that you're also seeing that there's more out there in the world than what you knew, but I also miss your … Willow-ness."

She smiled slightly at that, "You want it both ways, but you know it won't work."

He shrugged, "Oh well, I tried. So, is there any way I can get out of this?"

She narrowed her eyes even as Faith and Linda came over, four dresses in hand, "Well, maybe – I found the dress I wanted to wear an hour ago, so I'm passing you off to Linda and Faith." He gaped at her and she smiled, "What, did you think I was going to let you off that easy?"

"A hour ago? But … that THING..."

She nodded and looked at it with a scrunched nose, "You're right – Lady Useless would have loved it, but it's not me." She tossed it back on the rack and picked up a green, slinky number, "Tootles."

Linda snickered softly behind one of the dresses as he closed his mouth and rubbed the bridge of his nose, Faith speaking up, "Girl's got a wicked sense of humor on her, Xand – be careful not to get on the wrong side of it."

"A-firm, Faith. So, those cut the mustard?"

She wrinkled her nose slightly and looked at the four dresses – two of them were classics in red and blue, one in purple that was like Willow's, kinda slinky, and the last one was in cream and it was a spaghetti strap number that hit the knees … barely, "Cream and Red, yeah, but not Purple or Blue. Which one ya like?"

He didn't hesitate, "Red." She arched an eyebrow at him and he smiled unrepentedly, "What? This is probably the one chance outside of your wedding for me to see you in a real dress, so I'm going in whole-hog."

Linda chuckled even more as Faith narrowed her eyes, "What makes you think I'm getting married?"

He shrugged, "What makes you think that, one day, you're not going to run into Mister Right and bam go off and get hitched?" He saw a moment of pain in her eyes and lost his smile, "Or it could be a long, drawn-out matter that has you having to bash him over the head and demand a marriage proposal one day – who knows?"

Linda got herself under control and spoke up, "And what about yourself, Xander?"

"I'm a confirmed bachelor for the next few years, Linda."

She gave him a level look even as Faith smirked at the older woman, seeing she had walked right into that one, "I mean about your tuxedo – do you have it?"

He sighed, "I go in for final fittings today at some point and pick out the colors."

Linda nodded, "Very well – Faith, you go with him and make sure he doesn't pick out something horrible." Both of them gave her a level look as she turned away and put all but the red dress up, "Go, quickly – we have much to do today to replace all of the stuff you two broke last week."

Xander looked at Faith and she nodded, and then they both sighed – this was going to be a LONG day.

(Later)

"So, they're going together?" Linda looked up to see both Buffy and Willow standing not ten feet from her, both looking alternately between her and the two unconscious teens, Faith and Xander, who had dropped after a measly seven hours of shopping.

Linda nodded, "Yes, they are – I'm not sure how she talked him into it, but Xander agreed to take Faith to the prom." Willow smiled but Linda was a little shocked to see Buffy frowning, "What's the matter, Buffy?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing really. I as just curious at why it was that Xander asked her, sort of. I mean, he could have had anyone in school."

"Or you?" Buffy looked at Willow, scandalized, but Willow didn't even bat an eye, "What? Did you think that I missed the cow eyes you've been giving him for the past few days? Why the sudden interest in him, Buffy? Isn't he only your 'Xander-shaped friend'?"

Buffy scowled at Willow for a moment, but quite honestly, Linda was curious about this as well, "Fine, I admit it! He's cute, and maybe I've been looking at him differently for the past few days – so what? I am NOT making cow eyes at him, though, Willow – that's your job."

Willow didn't even miss a beat, "I know – have you SEEN his uniform? It is drool-worthy."

Buffy smiled slightly, "Yeah, it is, but that's not the point – I've been talking to Angel for the past few days and … and he's leaving Sunnydale, forever." Linda wanted to break out into a dance of joy – she had heard what Angelus had done over his time in Sunnydale and, personally, wanted to stake him so that kind of evil could never return. "I mean, all I've ever wanted was a normal boyfriend – yeah, going after Angel and everything was a HUGE mistake, I can admit that now, but … but now I just want someone who is normal, and Xander fits the bill … sort of."

Linda couldn't help but snort, "There's nothing normal about Xander, Buffy – he fights vampires in a suit that is straight out of science fiction and video games, he has new powers granted to him by a Power that interact with some sort of water that a Goddess gave him to extend his life, so he could go with her cause. That's about as 'abnormal' as a human can be and still walk in daylight."

Buffy gave her a long, steady look before sighing in defeat, "I know."

"And then there's the fact that he may not even be in this dimension after Graduation." Willow sat down on the edge of the table and looked over at Xander's position, where Faith was leaning on him and snoring softly, "Chances are that he'll never come back, and add on top of that we'll all be dead and gone long before he even hits his prime."

"And that's if we actually stop the Mayor's planned ascendance to demonhood – sure, the FBI is getting closer to him, but we still don't know if he'll be able to do it." Linda sat down in a chair at her kitchen table and idly began to polish some of the silver service that she had conned Xander into buying – it wasn't like he was hurting for money with the millions he was making off of computer software companies and stock he held in them, and when she proposed buying the silver, the look he had given her told her he knew exactly what she was doing, milking the cow for everything it was worth.

Willow nodded, "Yeah, Giles said that they're closing in on him, but he's coving his tracks and making money and people disappear like Houdini."

"A problem that's easily rectified," Linda and Buffy both jumped but Willow didn't appear the least bit surprised when Xander spoke up, though softly as if in hopes of not waking Faith. He craned his neck and smiled slightly, "Can't you just lock onto someone with a scrying spell and poof, if they go somewhere, you have them?"

Willow, once she stopped smiling, shook her head, "No, not with him being as powerful of a wizard as he is."

"Okay, so how about we tip the Feds off again and they start digging around into the 'Missing Persons' files? I mean, have you SEEN those?" He slowly got up and put Faith down gently, padding her head with a pillow before walking over, stretching as he did, "That should be more than enough to get a few eyebrows raised."

Linda nodded and, as she did, noticed that Buffy was not only blushing as red as a tomato, but also trying to not swallow her tongue, "Yes, it would, but all of those have been explained away."

Xander frowned, "And the empty graves? Not even Egypt has had as many 'grave robberies' as we have."

Linda looked at Willow, who frowned, "That's stretching it."

He huffed and crossed his arms petulantly, "Are you sure I can't just gut him like a fish?" The looks they all gave him silenced his whining and Linda went back to polishing her silverware.

(Next Day - Summers Residence)

She looked at her dress, one that Willow had said she had found her for the day before while shopping with Faith and Linda, and while she had to admit that it was pretty, it reminded her far too much of 'Lady Useless', as both Willow and Xander were both adamant about calling her Halloween persona – she'd worn that getup to get Angel to notice her, to ask her out, and look where that had gotten her, having to deal with Angelus, having Xander lie to her, sending Angel to hell, all of it. Frankly, she wanted to burn the damned thing, but with a much as she had rented it for, she wasn't going to do that.

She looked in the mirror and sighed as she came face to face with 'herself', "So, Buffy, are you going to admit it?"

She then switched to a slightly higher voice, "Admit what, Buffy?"

Again, she switched into 'Buffy-Real' voice, "That you're falling for your best guy friend who wants nothing to do with you?"

'Buffy-Fake' smirked back, "What, like you did a two years ago? When you were mooning over Angel and completely ignoring Xander? Yep, I'll admit it."

"And why choose now to have these feelings?"

"Because you and I both know he won't be here much longer, that he's going into that other reality and staying there for as long as he's needed."

She hated it when 'she' was right, "But why can't he stay here?"

"Because he's bound to my cause, my mentally unstable Slayer," she jerked and watched as her reflection morphed into a beautiful blue-haired woman with red eyes and two dots on her forehead.

"And you are?"

"The Goddess, Tsunami, but please, call me Lady Tsunami."

"Why can't I call you Sue?"

Tsunami's eyes narrowed, "Because only Xander can get away with that, and even then only rarely."

Buffy gulped even as her Slayer Senses began to go haywire, "Gotcha. So, why the personal visit? Or am I losing what's left of my mind?"

"Well, I'm not one to render psychological advice, but when you're holding an active conversation with yourself in the mirror and losing, that's generally a bad sign. Other than that, I needed to have a few words with you, Slayer."

"Shoot."

"I would if I could," Tsunami ground out, but then schooled her expression into a careful mask. "Now, I pose the same question to you – why wait until now for you to have these thoughts about Xander? Surely you're not blind, that he's always been there for you."

Buffy nodded, "Yes, I know he was, but he was too much of a geek back then."

Tsunami arched an eyebrow at her, "Is that all that was wrong?"

"No, another thing is that … he reminded me of Pike, a friend, and … that's all I ever saw him as. Once I get these people into boxes in my mind, I like to keep them there."

"And you don't like it when they decided that they don't like that box, so they break out of it?"

She nodded, "Right."

Tsunami rolled her eyes at her, "Child, that's a bunch of cabbit cookies and you know it. Xander doesn't fit into just 'one' box – he's an entire warehouse, if you take time to look."

Buffy arched an eyebrow, "'Cabbit cookies'?"

Tsunami shrugged, "Blame Sasami, but it still remains – did you not bother to look past his mask to see the beautiful, strong, loyal man there under the comic relief?"

Buffy winced at the slightly scathing tone, "Not until it was too late, when he threatened to kill me start of junior year." She frowned, "Wait a second – how do you know all this about him?"

Tsunami blushed lightly, "He has partaken of the Water of Life, which gives him a mental bond with me, so I can read some of his less private memories, but also he's told me a few things, I've guessed a few others and even rewound time for a second to see others."

Buffy blinked, "And why such an interest in Xander?"

"You're not the first to ask me that, but I'll only tell you that he intrigues me, and that's not easy to do – Tenchi, in fact, is the only other male in a few thousand years to do that, but that's been played out with Ayeka and Ryoko."

Buffy winced, "Is he a glutton for punishment, or something?"

Tsunami shrugged, "Not really – he loves them both."

"I always kind of saw him with Sasami."

Tsunami shook her head, "No, she only sees him as a brother-figure, much like Xander sees you and Willow as sister-figures. Truth to tell, though, I'm not sure what's going on in her mind half of the time, except that she likes hanging around with Xander when she can."

With as much flak as she'd taken from everyone about the age differences between her and Angel, it wasn't too surprising when Buffy spoke flatly, "Two words: Jail Bait."

Tsunami gave her a flat look, "Not like that – she likes that he treats her like a person, not a princess, and while their might me something else there, she knows he's still hung up on Mihoshi, so she's not going to try anything for a few years now." Buffy weighed the words, but also took note of the look in Tsunami's eyes – she had a thing for Xander, too, but on what level was that thing?

"So, are we done?"

Tsunami shook her head, "Not quite, Slayer – what were you thinking when you rented that … thing?" She scrunched her nose up and looked at her prom dress, "I mean, isn't that … tacky?"

Buffy growled – Goddess or not, nobody dissed her dress.

AN: Okay, enough with the light-hearted stuff – one more chapter, I have decided, and that's it. What do you think? R&R, AR.


	10. Chapter 10

10/?

AN: Okay, this is it, the big finish for the fluff … or will this be the big flop – who knows?

(Prom)

To be perfectly blunt, Faith wanted to run like all of hell was after her as soon as she and Xander walked through the doors to the Prom – she'd asked him to accompany her 'as a friend' and 'so I don't look like a total loser coming alone' while he was getting fitted for his tux and, to be perfectly honest about it, at first she wasn't sure she was making the right decision. He, of course, had said yes, that he'd love to accompany the most gorgeous brunette he knew from the East Coast to the Prom, which had gotten her to actually blush and gotten a chuckle out of the saleswoman who was fitting him, calling him a charmer, which he smiled at but said nothing, and here they were – Linda, of course, had made a great deal out of it, taking pictures, talking to Xander alone, and even going so far as to renting them all a limo for the night, and frankly had done her job as the maternal parental unit, embarrassing her in front of the others.

Of course, on the flip side, B had been sniffing around X for the past two weeks, ever since she had gotten her 'dress', and this hadn't done anything good for her relationship with the bottle blonde Slayer – more than once they had come to near-blows over several minor things, and she knew all of this went back to when B had gotten back to the 'Dale and had said those tings about her, which had hurt more than she cared to admit. Of course, though, X had stepped in and had pulled them apart, facing down B several times when she had crossed the line with some comment or another, and Faith found herself smiling more and more each time that he stuck up for her – if things had been different, she'd have probably questioned his motives as trying to get a roll in the hay with her, but he'd turned her down several times already, saying that he would have loved to go with it, but that he wouldn't risk proving her theory right, that all men were led around by their dicks, that their brains were in there, and on some level she had to admire that.

"Breathe, Faith." She felt his presence over her shoulder and calmed down a great deal even as he reached down and squeezed her hand, "This isn't the first time these people have seen us together – just flow with it."

"Sure, but you aren't the one that Principal is gunning after." Snyder had been on her case since day one, calling her all sorts of things, but only after he'd had a 'talk' with Miss C, Jeeves, and Linda had he even begun to back off … and then came the talk with Xander – she never knew a human with a pulse could go that pale, let alone run away so quickly, and when she pushed him about it, X merely grinned about the entire thing, saying he'd informed 'Quark' what would happen to him if anything happened to her, that Flutie's fate would be tame in comparison. Of course, she'd asked Linda and Jeeves about it, but it was Red who gave her the 411 on who 'Flutie' was and what had happened to him – eaten by Hyena-possessed students and X had been their leader, their Alpha. This had shaken up her image of just who he really was, but then G had told her what the Hyena had been looking for, a true leader, and that X fit the criteria.

"He knows his place, Faith, and he won't do anything to you tonight." They had just finished taking their official photos and were at the door to enter the gym, where they would dance, schmooze, mingle and chow until the end of the dance – frankly, she'd rather be facing Kakistos all over again. He turned to her and, with a smirk, asked, "What's the matter, Faith? Scared?"

He had her dead to right and he fucking knew it – sometimes, she really hated Xander, "Never." With that, she walked into the gym like she owned the place and quickly found a table that was relatively empty, a table that emptied as she sat down and Xander sat next to her, "You know, with people doing that, you'd think we weren't liked around here."

"That's because we aren't Faith – we're the freaks of the school, remember?" She smiled as he sat next to her, spotting Red, Wolfy, Cheerbabe, B, G and Miss C as they all entered the room, motioning them over.

"Yeah, that's right, of course I'm sure no one will forget Wonder Slut's rant in the cafeteria about all of us." 'Wonder Slut' was her name for Harmony, a girl she wouldn't deem worthy of saving, ever, if she ever came across her being attacked by a vamp, sacred duty shit or not.

"No, what they won't forget is that she fell off the chair she was on and flashed everyone in the cafeteria, proving she isn't a natural blonde at all." She and X had to grin at that, with the wolf whistles that the act of natural imbalance had gotten the mortified girl, "Of course, it wasn't as if she didn't try to blame it on the pair of us."

"And as we weren't within twenty feet of her, everyone knows that she's just jealous of us all." The others sat down and she smiled, "Hey."

"Hey," B said, looking a little uncomfortable in the monstrosity of a dress she was wearing, as everyone was looking at her and occasionally someone would snicker, "So, how'd you manage to wrangle Xander to get you to take you out?"

"My natural charm, good looks and I made him a batch of cookies that could actually be eaten." This got a chortle out of Xand, Wolfy and Cheerbabe, but Red outright laughed as both G and Miss C both politely coughed – B had tried to give him some cookies she had made, but they were so bad that even the vamps that they were thrown at avoided them like they were holy objects.

B looked ready to say something that she would probably regret, but apparently caught herself and just sat back into her seat, sulking slightly as the first song began to play and the DJ called for people out on the floor.

(Later)

"Xander?" He looked up from his drink at Buffy, who was pushing her food around her plate with a fork, "Can I have a dance?"

He took a drink from his cup even as his mind brought up a memory he had hoped would stay buried for the rest of his unnaturally long life, that of 'the sexy dance', "And why should I? You and I both remember what happened the last time you and I 'danced'." Faith perked up at this, but Willow and Buffy both winced at the note of ice in his voice.

Buffy held up her hands, her eyes filled with both loathing at the memory and anger that he had even brought it up, "I mean it – just dance, nothing … more."

He looked over at Faith, who nodded, and he stood, "One dance." He'd danced with Willow earlier, a slow number, and had been drug out on the floor by Jenny when Giles had refused to dance and then one from Cordy – he was sure that, in an instant, he'd gone from 'loser' to 'god' in the eyes of many males in the room at those particular dances, and of course he and Faith had danced a few numbers together, both of them having loosened up a little as time went on.

The last strands of 'Last Kiss', by Pearl Jam, ended and a new song that he couldn't place immediately began up, a woman's voice half-whispering out lyrics, "I do swear, that I'll always … be there. I'll give anything, and everything …" but by then he was tuning out the songs and paying attention to his partner – he was, admittedly, not the best dancer around, with Faith being almost as bad, but Buffy, when it came to slow-dancing, was by far worse and proving it as she stepped on his feet four times in ten seconds.

"So, are you having fun?"

He looked at her, "No – I forgot to wear my boots with the steel shanks in them to dance with you." She gave him a glare even as she mashed his little right toe, but this time on p purpose, "Yes, I'm having fun with Faith."

She nodded at that as the main part of the song started, "Good – when are you going to dump her and leave?"

He glared down at Buffy, "What?"

She glared up at him, "Well, you're not sticking around here, and she can't leave because she's a Slayer, so you'd have to break up with her."

He rolled his eyes – he hated 'Buffy Logic', "Firstly, Faith and I are not dating – we occasionally go to venues together, on things that could be construed as 'dates', and we are good friends, but not boyfriend and girlfriend. Secondly, frankly, you have no right to ask that question – it's none of your damned business."

She arched a dark eyebrow at him, "YOU aren't the one who's had that Anya girl hounding you for the past month on how to get you to go out with her. I swear she has my room bugged, or something." Anya had once been Anyanka, patron demon of scorned women, and had caused some trouble while he had been over training with Yosho, apparently granting a wish of Harmony's that Buffy, himself and Giles had never come to Sunnydale – it had been ugly, according to what Jenny, the only one who remembered anything of the events, but eventually the wish was cancelled and Anyanka became just a regular human.

He arched one of his own dark eyebrows at her, "No, I had to deal with her – I'm not sure how she got there, but one day I found her in the boy's locker room while we were cleaning up. Incidentally, that's where she found her date." As if with one mind, they looked over and saw Anya Jenkins sitting and talking with her 'date', Andrew Wells – he looked like he was either going to be sick or gnaw his arm off at the elbow to get away from her, but he also looked as if he were elated to actually be seen in public with a female that wasn't either inflatable or family.

Buffy looked up at him even as the song started to wind down, "Either way, is there any way you can stay here and do you job with Tsunami?"

"No, not effectively – that'd be like you living in Miami and having to commute to work here every night. I mean, it's not like I've got much keeping me here anyway – Willow's finally emotionally detached herself from me, Faith knows she has other friends, and you have people who can help you."

"And what about your mother?" He gave her a hard look that told her she was on very thin ice, "I mean, what if she wants to visit you?"

"She won't – she's too into Family business now to visit me." Corleone Septic was doing magnificently, actually, and while the waste management owned by the Soprano family was still going strong, both families knew where to draw the line between business and personal.

"And what if we wanted you to stay?"

He arched an eyebrow at her rather pathetic tone of voice, "We?"

She looked him in the eyes, "I – I want you to stay; say to hell with Tsunami and her ideas, I want you here, with us … with me."

"Why all of this sudden interest, Buff? I mean, now that Deadboy's gone to get his dead Irish ass in gear on his redemption kick, do you need me around here?"

She nodded even as the song came to an end, "Yes."

He smiled sadly at her, "No, you don't – you don't need me around here anymore, Buffy." With that and look off into a dark corner, he let her go, for the perhaps the last time, and walked away, leaving her on the dance floor as another, more fast-paced, song started up.

(Table)

"Ten bucks says she's trying to get him to stay."

She looked at Willow, who was smirking, having made the best, and then over at Faith, who was frowning at the prospect at it, "You're on. Another ten says he turns her down."

"Deal," Willow said with a triumphant smirk. "He can't turn Buffy down when she gets 'the eyes' going." Jenny narrowed her gaze at Willow even as the scene played out in front of them, the song petering out, and Xander shaking his head slightly before walking away – Willow's jaw dropped, Faith's frown turned into a smirk and Rupert snorted as Willow sputtered out, "He turned her down!"

"Of course he did, Willow – Xander is many things, and while he is occasionally easily manipulated, he will not be manipulated into neglecting something he had given his word to do, it's not in him." She smiled at Rupert as he finished his minor explanation as Xander walked over, but he then held out his hand to Cordelia, who handed over twenty dollar, "And in the future, Miss Chase, it would behoove you greatly not to bet against an Englishman – we do have our ways."

Cordelia sniffed, "I still think you're cheating."

Jenny ignored them and looked at Xander even as Buffy was distracted by something, waiting until he was close enough to ask, "What did you do?"

"I turned her down, but I also figured he'd have enough class to at least show up tonight." She watched Xander turn and followed his line of sight, seeing Angelus … Angel walk out of the shadows and towards Buffy, "I'll never like him, ever – there's too much bad blood there between us, but I'll admit that now he has his head on his shoulders instead of in his pants and he is doing the right thing."

Faith looked impressed, "Did you threaten him to come here, Xand?"

Xander just smirked, "Nah – didn't need to."

Jenny arched an eyebrow at him, "When were you going to tell us about this?"

Xander just shrugged and picked up his drink, "Didn't see a reason to, actually – this is between them, as a way to clear the air."

Willow then spoke up, "So, you're finally growing up?"

"Reluctantly, yes." Nobody spoke as the pair on the floor began to dance, the song switching to something slower, and they all watched the last dance before the awards were given out.

(Next Day - Xander's Lab)

Prom night had gone fairly well, actually – nobody had been killed, Buffy had gotten an award for 'Class Protector' and Cordelia and some other girl had tied for Prom Queen, but the best part was laying next to him; he and Faith had gone walking around after the dance, not really looking for or finding trouble, until they came to his lab … where things went from one thing to another until they eventually came to a head with a kiss and … well, they'd ended up having sex. Marcus' memories of himself and Samus that one time had helped a great deal on what he was supposed to do outside of the obvious and primal instincts, and from the ringing that was still in his ears, Faith had enjoyed herself immensely as well.

Speaking of whom, she was now yawning awake as he sat on the edge of the small bed he had put into the lab some time back, yet had only used about two or three times – while it wasn't impossible to fall asleep over his armor, welding this or repairing that, he'd done that or fallen asleep in his desk chair more often than not, "Xander."

"Faith – you feeling okay?"

She smiled at him vivaciously and stretched her arms high into the air, the sheet that had been covering her breasts falling to her waist, leaving her nude, but he didn't care all that much, "Yeah – I've been needing that for a while. You?"

He chuckled, "First time, actually." He stood and stretched, his back snapping several times, eliciting a groan from his gut and an 'ouch' from Faith, as if in sympathy.

"Well, with that much natural talent, you and that goddess are gonna be knocking boots for a long time." She reached over and grabbed his dress shirt, pulling it on and buttoning it up before pulling on her panties even as his mind processed her comment and he blushed, "Can't say I blame you, though – she's hot."

"Thank you." He groaned and pulled on his shorts quickly, turning to see Tsunami standing next to his armor, blushing lightly as she walked over, but a slightly playful smirk crossing her face, "Did you two have fun last night?" He nodded, but Faith smiled, and then Tsunami's smirk dropped, "Well, I have two bits of bad news – I've been looking into your problem with your Mayor, and there is nothing I can do, Xander. He will ascend and you must fight him."

Xander groaned and Faith sighed, beating him to the punch, "Well, shit."

He looked up at Tsunami, who was staring at him more heavily and blushing a bit more, but ignored it, "And the other problem?"

She winced, "Well, you're about to meet the third sister."

He arched his eyebrow, "'Third' sister? What do you mean, third sister?"

As if in answer to his question, his dimensional door burst open and three figured came barreling through it in a tangled, writhing, snarling mess of purple, water blue and light brown until it came to a halt not ten feet in front of him – the pile untangled to reveal Ayeka and Sasami in their robes and apron, respectively, neither of them looking very happy, and a third young woman, about fifteen years old or so, only she wasn't in any kind of a robe, more of a pair of overalls, a t-shirt, boots and looking more tomboyish than anything. She was thin, but not skinny, and had elfin features, with straight light brown hair that was cropped just at her shoulders, her eyes were a light gray or maybe a hazel, with creamy skin that was dusted with a few freckles … and she was gaping right at him, her jaw touching the ground and tongue not far from it, "Whoa."

He looked first Tsunami, who shrugged, then at Ayeka, who growled, but then finally at Sasami, who was positively livid – the last time he had seen her like that was when Ayeka and Ryoko had destroyed her kitchen, again, so he knew to tread lightly, "Sam? Uh, what's going on?"

She stopped growling at the new girl and walked over, taking his left arm rather possessively, "That's my sister, Xander – she wants nothing to do with politics, so she doesn't take the family name, but she's my sister none the less."

The girl in question snapped out of her lusting trance and glared at Sasami, which made him growl ever so slightly, until she looked at him, "Hey, it wasn't my fault that I accidentally made her burn her cookies."

"I told you my oven was working fine, that you didn't need to try and 'fix' it!" Sasami stomped her foot and mashed his left little toe, but he gritted his teeth and bared it as she clutched his arm even more, "Sister, this is Xander, my champion, guardian and friend. Xander, this is my sister, Dawn – I hope you survive the experience."

Xander felt his brain finally kick into high gear as she smiled at him, "Hi, Xander! Nice lab – I'll have it spruced up and working perfectly in no time at all. Don't worry – what could possibly go wrong?"

Even as he felt Faith's arms wrap around his back, he felt his gut turn into ice and drop to his feet – she just taunted the Hellmouth. No good would come from that.

AN: For all of those who were curious as to what would happen to The Key … here she is. No, I'm not very inventive, so I'm taking Dawn at 15 and giving her something of a lateral transfer to the Tenchi-verse. God help them all. R&R, AR.


	11. Chapter 11

11/?

AN: The fluff is over – let the insanity begin!

AN2: Warning – Character Death

(Morning - Graduation Day)

Xander ran into his lab and barred the dimensional door that was the link between his and Little Washu's lab – he'd been called over that evening when Sasami had been subject to one of her night terrors and, after several hours of trying and having to dodge various cooking implements meant to take the head off of the shoulders of whoever was entering her domain, Sasami had finally calmed down enough to explain what was wrong; she'd been having her normal dreams, but then a great big blackness had descended upon them and that had wigged her out more than anything. She wouldn't tell him just what that blackness was, but rather all she would say was that 'you'll know it when you see it' – that didn't exactly fill him with tons of hope for a nice, peaceful solution to their problems, but instead just made him more tired even as she hugged him and promptly fell asleep.

An interesting note on Sasami was that, when she hugged you while she was asleep, you were not going anywhere unless you took her with you – he'd learned that a while back after seeing Ryoko try and pry her hands off of Ryo-ohki, but that had come to no avail; he had found himself in a similar situation with her so he expedited the solution and picked her up, carried them both to the couch and set her down next to him, falling asleep not long after his head hit the cushions. They both slept there for several hours before they were joined by another warm body, who sat on his left side and clutched his arm possessively, running their hands up and down his arm and torso as if they were feeling him up – he knew, instantly, that it wasn't Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka or Washu, and more than likely wasn't Mihoshi or Kiyone, as there would have been a playful kiss along with that groping as well, so he was left with the one other person in the house, Dawn, and this didn't bode well given his position between Sasami and said sister. Dawn and Sasami did not get along where he and Ryo-ohki were involved, ever, in fact Ryoko had made the comment that she and Ayeka got along better than the pair of younger girls often did, and Ayeka had agreed with her!

Naturally, it was seven in the morning on the button, a good hour before Ryoko and Ayeka generally got into it, when the first volley was fired from Sasami – she'd woken him up a few seconds before with a squeeze and a sigh before opening her eyes and finding her sister on his other side, hugging the life out of his arm, and had taken appropriate measures, in her mind, to fix the situation. Dawn, after a mighty kick from Sasami, had flown into the far wall and almost through it before coming to a stop and shaking her head, only half awake even as Sasami got to her feet, still in her bed clothes and with her hair up in protective buns, and the war was officially on – the pair of sisters went back and forth for nearly ten minutes with just bickering before Dawn threw the first punch, one that Sasami blocked and returned in kind, and things went downhill quickly from there, to the point that he ran for his lab and barred the door, which led him to his current position.

"Those two are scary," he muttered to himself even as he leaned away from the door, which rattled on cue but held, and made him question who was more dangerous – Sasami and Dawn fighting or the Mayor. The thought of said man made him wince and look at his calendar, which had the date marked in big red letters with 'Sink or Swim' written under it, "Damn it."

"To put it mildly," he turned and saw both Buffy and Faith standing inside of his lab door, dressed normally but obviously enjoying themselves. Faith spoke up with a smile on her face, "Nice jammies, stud."

He looked down and saw that he was still wearing only his socks, a pair of loose pants with carrots and Ryo-ohkis all over them, a gift from Sasami, Mihoshi and Kiyone on his birthday a few months before, though he was sure Tsunami had something to do with that as well, and tank top undershirt, and instinctively he blushed lightly, "Hi, thanks, Faith. So … what brings you two here?"

Buffy smiled slightly, her eyes teasing even as Faith chuckled, "Well, we were going to ask if you had those things ready for us, but obviously you have had … other things … on your mind."

He narrowed his eyes, "Mind out of the gutter, Buffy – Sasami had a bad dream and I was elected to calm her down after Ryoko took a wok to the forehead."

Faith smiled at him, "S-ure. Now, the goodies?"

He sighed and pulled on his house shoes (again Ryo-ohki-style in nature, an affinity of Sasami's) before walking over to his work bench – he had been equipping weapons for the inevitable fight between them and the Mayor at Graduation, as they had been unable to get him arrested or otherwise taken care of, and while at first he had been worried about Faith and Buffy going crazy with them, he was not too shocked when Willow had, with a purely angelic face, asked if she too was going to be getting a weapon of mass destruction. He had let her down as easily as he could at first, but as soon as she had put those green eyes on him, it was over and he caved, giving her a rocket launcher and teaching her how to use it properly, "Remember, ladies, that these are deadly weapons."

"We know," they chimed in unison, their eyes bright and fingers itching to get on the metal tools of destruction.

"Good, this is precisely why these are unloaded and will remain that way for several more hours." He accepted their glared and handed over the unloaded rocket launchers – they were normal launches except for the fact that they fired off of a rotating magazine that held six shots before it had to be reloaded, which took both time and patience, something that would probably have the two Slayers growling by the end of practice. He handed both weapons over, after making sure that they were, indeed, unloaded and watched the two Slayers stop acting like children and check the two weapons over even as his lab door opened again and, for a moment, he was sure that they would kill the Mayor.

"Hey, B, my rocket launcher is bigger than your launcher."

"Is not!"

And that moment had passed rather quickly as the bickering began.

(2 hours later – Summers Home)

Joyce finished tailoring her daughter's gown to length even as Rupert and Xander both sat in chairs, idly looking over maps and Willow, Faith, Jenny and Cordelia were off to the side, but even as Oz walked through the door with a box of donuts in hand, Joyce couldn't shake the feeling that, at the end of the day, there would be nothing but heartache for these young people. The gown hem shifted and she sighed, "Hold still, Buffy."

"I'm trying, mom." For not the first time, Joyce found herself wondering how Buffy had gotten her family's lack of vertical instead of Hank's – her back was killing her. "So, Xander, how's it look?"

"If Wilkins is in the right place and all goes according to plan, we may just have a fighting chance in hell at pulling this off." Xander's attitude over the past two hours had, to an extent, been rather fatalistic, but given what they were going to be facing, Joyce fancied that he was being realistic about the entire thing, "One, don't miss with your shots – make them all count. I don't want to see the school hurt all that much."

Joyce arched a brow at him, "Why not?"

He smiled, "I still have to get some stuff out of the Library, and if it goes up, I won't be able to get them."

Rupert then spoke up, "And the rest of the students? Are they … prepared?"

Jenny walked up and smiled at her paramour, "Of course they are – they all know of what really happens in Sunnydale and have for a long time, but none of them simply cared enough to do anything about it until now." Jenny shook her head and sat on the chair back behind Xander, idly twirling some of his hair around a finger, "They will be armed and ready for when the time comes."

Giles nodded even as she finished Buffy's gown, "Good – that's one less thing that we need to worry about."

Faith and Willow walked over, the dark-haired Slayer flopping into Xander's lap and the Wicca sitting next to Oz while Cordelia went to go get something from the kitchen, "So, what are we doing after the fight? Scooby Orgy?" Joyce choked at the suggestion even as Xander snorted, Buffy blushed, Jenny and Willow smirked, Oz grimaced and Rupert looked scandalized, "What?"

"No, Faith – if we survive this, we get to have summer vacation," Jenny said, her smile and twinkling eyes not boding well for Rupert whatsoever, "and when we get back, we'll do this all over again."

"Xander won't." Joyce turned and looked at Cordelia, who held a glass of water in her hand and two pills in the other, "And neither will I – we're leaving, me to LA and him to protect that girl."

Xander chuckled even as Faith wiggled in his lap, "And I'll miss you, too, Queen C – I'll need to rely on Ayeka to be verbally eviscerated on at weekly basis, but to tell you the truth, it won't be the same." Joyce knew he was leaving, but she could also tell in his voice that he didn't want to leave because of the woman in his lap – she could see the love between him and Faith, and she knew that it would hurt them both for him to keep his word.

She smiled at them and went to her kitchen, putting on a kettle for some tea in hopes of making her recurring headaches go away, but in the back of her mind she knew that something wasn't right, but she kept putting off that doctor's appointment as long as she could.

"Are you okay, Joyce?" She jumped at his voice and at his hands on her shoulders, but she relaxed as her heart stopped racing at Xander's ghostly approach.

"I'm fine, Xander, just another headache coming on." She kept her face forwards even as he began to massage some of the tension out of her shoulders and upper back, but soon his hands traveled down to her lower back and worked on the knots there, though she was sure she felt a hint of cold metal against her back, though, "Are you going to at least remember to write on occasion?"

He chuckled as his hand slipped further up her back, "At least once a week and I'll come back for visits when I can, Joyce, but only if you go to the doctor's appointment I have set up for you in an hour." She turned around in his grasp and glared at him, but he wasn't fazed by it at all, thanks to the Slayer-strength glares her daughter gave him all the time, "Hey, if there's something wrong with you, I want to get it fixed – I want to be able to have 'Mrs. Robinson' thoughts about you for years to come."

Joyce couldn't help but to blush and chuckle, as he knew that was her favorite movie, "Be careful, Xander, or I may be forced to enact my favorite scene with you."

He gave her a grin that was at the same time playful and hopeful, "Please?"

Joyce only chuckled even as she felt a wave of dizziness sweep over her, but then that passed and blackness claimed her.

(Sunnydale Hospital – Graduation minus four hours)

He felt like a true son of a bitch, doing what he had done to Joyce, but he knew that she would never go to the doctor's office any other way, so he had gone to such lengths as to use Washu and a needle-less injection unit, also from Washu, to dope Joyce up with an untraceable drug to knock her out in a way that made it look like she fainted. They all sat in the ER now, waiting for the doctor to come in a tell them the news of what had not been found on the toxscreen, but would most assuredly have been found on the MRI – Washu had detected it one day while Joyce was in his lab and had told him some time back, which led to his decision to get her into treatment ASAP without having to knock her out and have Washu do it herself, and he'd be damned before he lost Joyce to something as benign as a brain tumor.

Beside him sat Buffy, who was out of her mind with worry, but after he and Faith, who sat on her other side, had stopped her from pacing a visible track in the floor ten minutes earlier, she had not broken down or had not even stopped fidgeting – she was on the edge and would stay there until she got word on her mother. He felt bad for her, he really did – abandoned by her father, her 'soul mate' never able to touch her in fear of him going evil, again, possibly losing her mother to an act of nature and being left behind by an associate of hers; she was hanging on by a thread, and it was only a matter of time before that thread snapped. Of course Willow would be there, as would Giles and Jenny, and maybe even Oz, but without her mother there to help her when things got tough, Buffy would be adrift – it was at times like this that he wondered if he had made the right 1choice in deciding to be Sasami's guardian and protector, but the princess needed him and Buffy, to an extent, did not.

The doctor came into the room and explained to them that Joyce had just fainted and her system was normal, but a test had shown something odd, so they were running more tests just to make sure – Buffy broke down on his shoulder, soaking the material of his shirt rather easily even as the doctor went on to explain that he'd know nothing more before tomorrow morning, and that Joyce would be there overnight for observation before leaving the room.

"You don't look surprised, Xander." He turned and looked at Jenny, who was giving him something of a measuring look, "Why is that?"

He sighed, "Because, Jenny, I was the one telling her to go to the doctor – I saw this a few weeks ago."

Giles arched his eyebrow at him and Xander could tell the conversation was gong down hill, "And you never told us for what reason, my boy?"

"Because, frankly, it was none of your concern – this was Joyce's problem, not ours, and now that it is our problem, I'm making sure she gets it treated." He could feel the temperature of the room dropping like a rock thrown off of the top of the Sears Tower, so he just shrugged, "What? It worked, didn't it?"

Buffy was the first to speak, "Did you hurt my mother?"

He gave her an offended look, "No, I only knocked her out – to the doctors, it's a simple case of fatigue, but then the CBC comes back, they see something wrong and then check it out, finding your mother's problem. Joyce wakes up, is told, decided to get problem fixed, and the problem is solved." Sometimes he really wished he had an emotional detachment to his friends and the family of his friends, he really did, but sometimes he just couldn't leave well enough alone.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him for a second before frowning, "So, you didn't do anything else to her?"

He rolled his eyes, "No, I didn't – I got her in the back while I was working the knots out of it she got because you can't sew and you're short." She glared at him heavily and he ignored her even as Giles coughed politely while Willow, Faith and Jenny chuckled or giggled.

Once the giggles subsided Jenny was able to ask him, "Will she be okay, Xander?"

"If she gets it treated properly, then it should be."

Buffy narrowed her eyes, "'Should'?"

He shrugged and stood up, "I can't see the future, Buff – she may be hit by a bus one day going to treatment." Buffy growled at this and he sighed, "Look, Buffy, like I said, I don't have a crystal ball, so I can't tell you with 100 certainty that anything will happen for sure. Hell, I can't tell you we're all coming back from Graduation today!"

The room went deadly silent at his proclamation and Xander instantly wished he had not said it – he had just taunted the fates with an idea … one he felt in his gut they had just taken up with gusto.

(Graduation minus 1 hour)

Buffy watched as Xander began to hop from one foot to the other and back again, his soft-soled boots making no noise as he landed, and idly began to wonder what was going through his mind even as Snyder began the roll call for who went where and what they could do and not do – he had drugged her mother in order to get her to see the doctor, in order for everyone to learn that she was sick and needed treatment, and while the action was morally reprehensible at the time, Buffy found that it was actually kinda of sweet that he was willing to risk a pounding from her to get her mother well.

She then looked over at Willow and Oz, who were talking quietly with Cordelia, and wondered just what those two were going to do after Graduation, provided they lived – they had been getting quite intimate as of late, though Oz did throw Xander the odd terrified look on occasion when Willow was upset (something that she was sure had to do with his wolf form possibly losing it's fur and manliness), and Buffy wondered if they would keep the relationship even though they would more than likely be apart, as Oz's band, Dingoes Ate My Baby, had been scouted by a big-name record label as an opening act for a summer tour.

She looked over at Cordy and Faith, who were both idly grading both guys and girls as they walked by, and Buffy shook her head at that particular friendship – Faith had taken to Cordelia after the former Queen C had ripped her for a decision she had made and they had struck up a friendship since then based on her inadequate leadership skills; personally, Buffy was kinda glad that Cordelia was leaving, but in a way she was also sad, as Cordelia was, if one pushed, a 'kinda' friend.

"Penny for your thoughts," She didn't jump at Xander's voice – he loved slipping up behind her these days and scaring the daylights out of her, more to the fact that he could now rather than what he used to do.

"Just thinking, you know, about stuff."

She could hear the smirk in his voice as he replied, "Don't strain yourself."

She shoved her elbow into where she thought his gut would be and connected only it was with his armored gut rather than his normal gut, "Ow!" Buffy rubbed her elbow and looked back at him, glaring, but he only smiled at her, "That hurt."

Xander just shrugged, "It was supposed to – hitting an armored person with an unarmored appendage tends to do that." He sat next to her and looked over, his cap in hands, "So, what're ya thinking about?"

"Well, what's going to happen to the Scoobies once we, you know, graduate? Is it going to be anything like it was, or is it going to be different?"

"Of course it will be different – things constantly evolve, Buffy, and if they don't they stagnate and die slow, agonizing deaths." She gave him a look that clearly stated 'that's morbid', but he just shrugged it off, "Harsh, but true – we've evolved since we first met, if you really think about it."

"I know we have – Willow's a witch and more outgoing, you've got your whole suit thing, and …" she trailed off as she saw him shake his head, "What?"

"I'm talking about as people we have changed, Buffy. Think about it – did you take the whole Slayer thing as seriously then as you occasionally do now?"

She frowned, "I like to think so, but I see your point."

"Do you think that Willow would ever wear her choice of clothing back then that she does now, Blood Rayne not withstanding?"

She nodded, "Point."

He snorted, "Do you think that I'd ever let down my masks long enough for anyone to see the real me, let alone Cordy doing the same?"

She took a breath and let it out slowly, "Well, I can see Cordy, but you, you never let down your masks."

He gave her a look, "Do you not remember my threat to kill you beginning of last year?" She winced at that memory, the look of promise in his eyes returning and the feeling of shame at how much of a bitch she had been which necessitated that declaration, "Or how about me lying to you? All things being equal, do you think I could have done that without lowering my masks?"

Her anger simmered for a second at that particular memory, but it had been long-since hashed out as the right thing to do, regardless of her personal feelings over it, "Okay, you're right, we have grown up."

He then smirked at her, "Emotionally, anyway – you're still short." She shot him a look and he stopped smirking, "Look, either way you could not have expected things to stay the same – it just wasn't possible, Hellmouth or not."

"I know, it's just whenever I get my mind set into one pattern, it's tough to get it off of that one and go to another." She messed with her tassel for a second and then plopped her cap on her head, "So, how do I look?"

He looked at her, "About an inch taller?" She glared and he smiled, "An inch and a half?"

"Can you be serious for at least two seconds to listen? I mean, I'm trying to say that … that I'm scared."

He nodded and was quiet for a second, but when she spoke, it wasn't the answer she was looking for, "Good."

"Huh?"

"Look, Buff, things change, and it should scare the piss out of you. I mean, yeah, this whole thing we're about to do has me quivering inside, but when it comes down to it, it needs to be done." Anything else he was going to say was cut off when Snyder yelled a them to get into their places, which is when he sighed, "Look, just remember that at the end of the day, those people out there in the stands are the ones that matter – keep them safe, and the rest is gravy."

With that, Xander got off of the floor next to her and walked away and, for not the first time that day, Buffy wondered if this was the last time she was going to see him alive.

(Graduation)

Even as the Mayor, one Richard Wilkins the First, Second and Third, began to shift and grow into a massive hellsnake under the absent light caused by the solar eclipse, Xander felt his stomach clench once again as his robe came off and his helmet snapped into place, unconsciously putting his cannon to full power and beginning to amplify it with a rarely used feature of his armor, the Charge Beam. Around him, his entire class also disrobed and pulled up weapons of varying lethality, ranging from bows and arrows, crossbows and javelins to the odd handgun, shotgun, rifle and, in one case, a rather nasty-looking cannon from their respective hiding places. They all held their fire, though, as the Mayor continued to grow, the crows of parents and family all screaming and fleeing the scene even as the local vampire population came in through portals from under the stands – all would be for naught if they attacked and the Mayor was still Immortal.

"What … do you think you're doing?" Snyder, dwarfed by the hellsnake by a good thirty feet of vertical, did make a vain attempt to put the former Mayor in his place, but paid for that with his life as the Mayor-snake snapped his head down and bit the troll in half. In the back of his mind, Xander made a mental note to thank the Mayor for that favor if they did this right.

"Open Fire!" Giles' roar was his signal and he let the lethal beam of cohesive energy fly at the Mayor, hitting it about fifteen feet off of the ground and dead center in the chest … with pitifully little effect. Not a second later arrows and javelins filled the air, not to mention the odd pistol and rifle round, and hit the Mayor in the chest, but those too had little effect even as he popped his missile launcher open and the students turned to reload and he fired a single missile at the Mayor-snake, who was hissing and surging forwards.

The small projectile that had blown open Ethan Rayne's shop front sailed forwards with blinding speed and, impossibly, the Mayor bit down on it and swallowed it … and for his troubles was given the worst case of indigestion imaginable as the missile exploded inside his body, causing him to give vent to a horrific scream and giving Xander another target as he ran to one side, popping another missile off as the vampires and demons were engaged by the students. The second missile hit the Mayor amid ships and badly burned the skin of the demon, but had little effect other than pissing it off, but he didn't care – it had to die, so he fired off another round and moved again.

A ball of pure light flew off from one side and Jenny's spell hit the Mayor in the neck, exploding and also burning the demon's hide – Xander knew that Faith was protecting the Technopagan as Buffy was protecting Willow, who's own magical bomb flew in and hit the Mayor where his missile had, causing more pain, more anger, and more damage as his third missile hit near the ground, blowing up as much earth as he did snake as he moved. Xander felt his movement impeded, though, by a horrific slap to the back of the head as a vampire got to him, some of them having overrun the students in places, and he turned and, triggering his power cannon, put a full-power shot into the undead creature's head, literally vaporizing it at a range of about an inch, which brought a smile to his face – something had FINALLY gone right from his constant tinkering with his cannon.

This pattern continued, magical bombs, missiles, the odd power beam and arrow from a student, for a few minutes until Xander made a decision that he knew was a risk, but it was an option that had more promise than anything else – he snapped his cannon arm closed and drew from his inner well of power, triggering his battle suit and, in a flash, his armor was gone and light surrounded his body. He felt the bodysuit form around him in an instant and then the partial armor was there, but also there was the black sword that was his to command, something that, theoretically, had as much power for every second of contact as his charged-up power beam did per shot. With that in mind, he streaked forwards, his mouth shouting a battle cry but his mind focused completely on his enemy and, with any luck, he would do some good with this suicidal attack.

(Bleachers)

Willow ducked a wild swing from a vampire and flung off her last magical bomb at the Mayor even as she heard Xander give his best impersonation of Han Solo's 'charging the Stormtroopers' war cry, out of his armor and with his energy sword, but paid no mind to it anymore as she pulled her own short swords and turned, her mind downshifting into what she liked to call 'Bloody Rayne' mode – she felt her eyeteeth extend slightly and her pulse pick up as she lashed out at one vampire and then another, decapitating both of them in a sweeping move even as Buffy kicked and staked a third vampire. It was at times like this that she lived for the fight.

Buffy, herself, was wondering exactly whom she had pissed off in her last life to get into a situation like this – she had only wanted a nice, normal life where she grew up and married an ultra-rich man who could take care of her for the rest of her life, but then the whole Slayer thing came into play and now here she was, at her Graduation ceremony, fighting to keep herself alive, in front of a Mayor-turned-hellsnake, and her best female friend had just gone agro on two more vampires with her short swords. It was at this point, though, she kinda got an answer to another of her questions – could the Mayor be hurt.

The Mayor bellowed out a screech of agony that shook the area and set off car alarms and Buffy looked down towards the ground to see Xander there, still spinning with his light sword blazing, and a deep, bloody rent in the Mayor's body, "So, he can be hurt."

The joy was short-lived, though, as the Mayor used his tail and swatted Xander away a good sixty yards … but Xander proceeded to defy gravity as he came to a stop in mid air and smiled a woozy little smile, shouting out, "How do you like this shit, ya bitch?!" Not waiting for an answer, though, he shot forwards, screaming his head off and Buffy found herself being hit again by an oncoming vampire.

Willow winced as Buffy was body-checked by a vampire as she heard Xander scream his mock war cry out at the Mayor, buzzing around the hellsnake like the mosquito from from hell and taking shots at the Mayor when given the chance; Xander was many things and, when he put his mind to it, he was definitely annoying. Her train of thought, though, was interrupted by an explosion of Jenny's and Faith's side of the field, followed not long by a shout of anguish, but Willow found herself under attack again and unable to see if her friends and allies were all right.

(Elsewhere)

Tsunami found herself wringing her hands in her robes even as she watched her champion and guardian … her friend … slash again at the demonic snake that had once been human, and felt her heart clench as an explosion off to one side of her viewing pool smothered and extinguished the life force of one of his friends – he had known that people were going to die in this battle, but Tsunami knew that Xander would take each death as an affront of himself, personally, after the fight was over.

Of course she knew that Xander and his friends would win the day, that much was written in the stars, but how many would die and need to be sacrificed in the process was an every-changing number that, as the battle wore on, kept going higher and higher.

(Sunnydale Graduation – field level)

Truth be told, he hadn't felt this good, this FREE in nearly twenty years, back when he was Ripper – even as he slashed his sword and decapitated another vampire, Rupert knew that something horrible had happened in the explosion that had erupted from where Faith and Jenny had been, but unfortunately he was a touch on the busy side as he and Linda both set out about destroying more vampires and keeping as many of the students alive as they could.

The odd fact that about two people on the face of the planet knew was that while he had been 'Ripper' so long ago, there had been an American counterpart to his reign of terror in the suburbs of New York; Linda Price had once, also about twenty years before, been a rather nasty sort in with the dark magics, and had taken the name of 'Banshee' as she had the vocal capacity to shatter glass (not to mention had the reputation of being quite the screamer, if one were to believe the rumors), and that was coming back in spades as she opened her mouth and gave vent to a piercing shriek that blew away five on-coming vampires and a good chunk of the dirt that they had been on.

The Mayor screamed again, but this time with gusto and Giles could see a great gout of blood erupting form the demon's back as Xander came over the top of him, flying through the air like a sodding hummingbird and backhand slashing the demon across it's snout, eliciting another scream and even more blood before a non-magical bomb flew in from Jenny's position and exploded next to the demon, blowing a rather sizable chunk out of the body and bringing for a scream that could only be described as 'blood curdling'.

(Elsewhere)

Tsunami winced again as Xander was smacked with the demon's tail, but felt that the end was nigh – the fight was over, but for whom?

(Field-level, Snake-central)

He desperately clawed the hot demon blood out of his eyes and had to duck quickly to avoid getting his head taken off as the Mayor began to thrash around after his last strikes – he'd gotten behind the demon and sliced it up the backside a good ten feet, but to add insult to injury he had slashed the mayor across his snout, too. Even as he clawed, though, he was ducking, diving and weaving in the air to keep from being hit by the thrashing snake, but not enough as he was slammed into the ground from above by a mass of demonic nagahide, which crashed down on top of him, pinning him to the ground even as he felt his armor starting to give way.

(Destroyed bleachers)

She saw Xander go down in a mass of demonic hellsnake and, with her last reserves of fleeting strength, threw the one thing at her disposal that she had left – a white phosphorous hand grenade that Linda had gotten ahold of, somehow.

It sailed high, it sailed true, it sailed right into the ground that was soon covered by the Mayor … and then it detonated as blackness consumed her.

(Other Bleachers)

Buffy and the vampire, one of the few left, actually, who was trying to take her head off with his hands both ducked in surprise as the explosion from under the Mayor and eardrum-shattering shriek that came after that, but Willow, from her position against a bleacher, holding a gash on her stomach that was healing quickly, had a front-row seat for what happened – she had seen Xander be landed on / belly-flopped on by the Mayor while trying to clear his eyes, but not two seconds after that did the grenade thrown by someone on the other side go off under the hellsnake. The initial explosion blew a hole right through the Mayor, sending up a veritable gout of hot blood, meaty chunklets and white-hot burning phosphorous, which cooked everything in sight from rare to ultra-well-done in about two seconds (3200 degrees could do that, a part of her addled mind added silently) – the scream the former mayor gave out actually shattered some of the glass in the school, lots of it, actually, and set off just about every car alarm in Sunnydale, but it was soon re-doubled again for some odd reason as dark demon blood began to gush out from both under and out of the top of the snake.

It thrashed around the football field, crushing chairs and the odd body of a fallen student, teacher or parent, repeatedly slamming it's middle torso, what had actually landed on Xander, actually, onto the ground, and that area it was slamming had a huge hole in it! Xander wasn't mashed into the ground into a Xander paste! It was at that time, though, that Willow noticed that the Mayor had a noticeable bulge in his body … and it was moving up even as the Mayor began to weakly struggle.

Buffy walked over to her, the vamp having been taken care of, "Willow, where's Xander?"

She had a bad feeling she knew exactly where Xander was – before she could answer, though, the Mayor gave another bellow of pain and a black light sword lanced it's way out from the inside of his body, "Uh, there?"

(Mayor's innards)

Xander could see spots in front of his eyes, his heart was hammering and his lungs were burning – he was doing all he could from opening his mouth and taking a great big gulp of Mayor blood and intestines, something he didn't actually want to try; fortunate happenstance had allowed the Willy Pete grenade, one of handful of goodies that Linda had gotten for them in this battle, to go off seconds before his armor gave way completely and for him to cut his way into the one place that he could temporarily survive – inside of the mayor. Once there, he hacked and sliced his way through the demonic tissues, his armor sizzling the entire way, until he felt his sword piece the outer skin of the Mayor, which he heard a muffled scream of agony from the outside.

With a final push he was out of the Mayor's body, rolling along the ground until he was stopped by a fallen chair; he shook his eyes clear and looked up, "Ah, hell." The Mayor was falling! The Mayor was falling! (shut up, Chicken Little) Without thinking he activated his battle suit's flight ability, but instead of floating up and away like Supermen of old, he shot away from the falling mass of nagahide and demonic mass, becoming the proverbial worm burner, and slamming head-first into a good fifty chairs before he arched his back and shot into the air.

"Damn," he muttered even as he came to a rest about fifteen feet in the air, shaking his head to try and clear the cobwebs. He could feel his heart starting to slow down now that he could breathe, but Xander was sure that he'd done some damage from going inside of the Mayor's body (not that he had a whole lot of choices at that point), and he could feel his ribs protesting greatly as he floated back down towards the ground.

"Xander!" He turned and saw both Giles and Linda running at him, the former having shouted at him, "Are you okay?"

"Not really, but I'm breathing – does that count?" He looked over at the Mayor's body, taking note that it was still moving, "Anyone got any ideas on how to get him to go down and stay down?"

Linda looked first at him, then at Giles, and then stepped forwards, her eyes turning black and her hair frizzing out to become a halo of light red around her head, like some sort of demented Chia pet or Don King – she opened her mouth and issued out a shriek that blew him back several feet, making him stumble into another fallen chair, and that shriek hit the Mayor dead on with rather surprising results. The Mayor's body, which had only been twitching slightly but was still obviously alive, exploded into more hellsnake chunklets as the screamed blast finished from Linda, but it continued on and traveled with unerring accuracy to the side of the school that was present, the side that happened to house the cafeteria and numerous gas lines – the resulting explosion flung them all right off their feet and incinerated the Mayor's body, but the bells ringing in his head made it impossible for anything to be heard.

It took several minutes, but he was able to get back and Xander felt his jaw drop as he surveyed the damage that Linda had caused – the central part of the school was gone, engulfed in flames, and the Mayor was toast, gone, cooked; Linda was on the ground, unconscious, Giles was still out of it (presumably with Big Ben going off in his head), and even as the bells began to clear from Xander's head, he could tell that it was eerily quiet on the field of battle, save for the roar of the gas line fires. It was eerily quiet, actually, as there were not any souls alive, save for a few, and all were in awed silence of the massive amount of destruction that had been wrought.

Of course, it couldn't last – from the other end of the field, he heard a female scream out in horror, "XANDER! SHE'S DEAD!"

AN: Okay, that's it for this chapter and, for now, this story – I'm burnt, seriously, and I'm working on several other stories. R&R, please, AR.


	12. Chapter 12

12?

(2 Days later - Xander's Lab)

In accordance to her hastily-written last will and testament, Faith Price had declared that her body, should it have ever been found, was to be cremated and for her funeral to be what she termed to be an Irish Wake – lots of booze, family and loud music were her wishes, and while the booze flowed and the music was occasionally subdued, the lab only held two mourners; Xander himself was on his back, laughing bitterly as Linda blasted out a horribly off-key verse to 'Hurt', which had first been done by NineInchNails, but later redone (and in Xander's opinion, greatly improved) by the Man in Black himself, Johnny Cash.

Linda, dressed in a pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt, with one hand holding a bottle of Jim Beam and the other holding a microphone, she warbled horribly off key the last part of her stanza from the karaoke machine he had hastily set up before passing the mike off to him, "Shing it, Xand-sher."

He grabbed the mike and, without missing a beat, belted out (also horribly off-key) as Johnny Cash's voice belted out, growing in timber and emotion, "If I could start again – a million miles away – I would keep myself, I would find … a way." The song ended and he put the mike down, sitting, well, flopping, really, down next to Linda as another song, a faster one by Great Big Sea named 'Kiss My Irish Ass', started up, but he never lost the grip on his bottle of non-alcoholic liquid (he was going to keep his promise to never become like Tony, come hell or high water), "Can ye feel anything, Linda?"

"Nosh a d-hammed t-hing, Sander," Linda slurred next to him, her eyes red but dry, having cried herself out over the past two days and ruining several dozen shirts amongst their group. She looked over at him and blinked owlishly, "You?"

He took another pull off of his bottle before nodding, "Everything, but it's … its getting more numb all of the time." He raised his bottle again to the picture of Faith he had blown up and put above the screen for the karaoke machine, the picture having been the one of him and her at the prom, and intoned gravely, "Again, to Faith Price – this world was better for having had you, I am a better person for having known you, and may your spirit raise a lot of hell up in heaven."

"Excellente," Linda crowed in slurred Spanish, some of her New York accent showing up ever so slightly before taking a hit off of the bottle in her hands. She stopped drinking her alcohol for a second before blinking and standing up, after two attempts, rather unsteadily, "To my da-haughter, may she rhest in pheaseh." With that final salute, Linda fell down on the couch and passed out – frankly, Xander was surprised she had held out for as long as she did, but even as he scooped her up and carried her to the cot he often used, he remembered that grief did funny things to people.

Putting Linda down and covering up with a blanket, he walked back to where he and Linda had been holding their semi-private wake for the last day and then looked at the picture of Faith again – in accordance to Watcher tradition, Faith's body had been cremated, enspelled against any sort of resurrection or revivication so that some necromancer or someone dumb enough to try a resurrection spell would not get a Slayer on their hands that they may not be able to control or destroy on their own, and then said ashes had been spread out over the mountains from a teleportation spell that had been preformed by one of the witches that had been hired by the Watchers to do all of this. Linda had, though, used her clout to at least get Faith a grave marker, which would be done in a few weeks, and she was also on grievance leave for the next few weeks to get herself back together – not even Travers, at his most bastardly, would have gone against this tradition in order to start the training of another Slayer, whom had been found in Russia just hours after Faith's death, and said bastard had even offered some words of condolence before hanging up. Part of the message that he had delivered, though, still ran in Xander's head, "'it is our solemn duty to protect this world, and all sacrifices that are made will be remembered for all time'"; Xander was sure that he had heard someone cough 'bullshit' in the background (or was that him as Giles coughed 'Bollocks'?), but either way, Faith was dead, gone, and never returning.

"Gee, happy thoughts, why don't ya?" He didn't even turn around to look at Tsunami as she faded into the room, walked over and sat next to him on the couch, leaning over until she rested on his side, "Feel any better?"

"Sorta numb – I think I've worked past homicidal anger, and denial, and now I'm going headlong into acceptance." He and Tsunami looked at the other end of his lab, which was utterly destroyed (evidence of his anger stage) and then at his armor, where it lay on the table, ready and waiting to be used, "It never ends, does it, Tsunami? Burry one friend, make another, burry them, wash, rinse and repeat ad nausium …"

She shrugged with a sigh, "Sometimes, it can be like that, Xander – remember, though, that as time passes, we all lose people important to us." He felt her arm snake around her waist and hug him, which he returned, though over her shoulder, "How is it you drank so much and aren't puking your guts up?"

He looked down at her, the question having come out of right field, "Well, firstly it's Washu's special stuff, it lets you feel all the pluses of a binge drinking session without actually getting wasted." He shifted his position to where he and Tsunami were upright, but still hugging, "Secondly, my tolerance for alcohol is much higher than any mere humans, even when I was a mere human."

She gave him a smirking look, "Honey, I've seen your past – there's nothing 'mere' about you." They often flirted back and forth to ease tensions and add a little humor to situations (Asuza had looked dumbfounded when they had done so – who had the nerve to flirt with a goddess, anyway?), but they both knew it would go no further than that. After a few minutes, though, they separated, Tsunami gliding to her feet, "So, are you going to go see Joyce?"

He nodded, also coming to his feet, "Yes, I am – she's getting released from the hospital today under threat of Slayer's mother, I think." He'd gone to the hospital to get some of the wounded patched up, but had not seen the eldest Summers woman in fear of having to actually speak to her and face her wrath – women were like that, sometimes.

"Oh, we are?" Xander winced at the playfully stern tone in Tsunami's voice, "My, I wonder what, oh, I don't know, Sasami and Mihoshi would have to say about that?"

He turned to her and he proceeded to grin the grin that Faith always told him could melt all things female, turning on the old Harris charm, "Is there any way I could dissuade you from telling them?"

She walked forwards and smiled, reaching out and tracing his jawline with her finger, stopping at his chin before tapping him on the nose, "Nope."

"Damn," So much for the old Harris charm.

(Sunnydale Hospital)

It was apparent from the second he stuck his head into the room that things were not as they should have been – Xander could see both Buffy and Joyce glaring at one another, Willow holding the blonde Slayer in place, Jenny and Giles both by Joyce's side, and both Oz and Cordelia off to the side, trying to stay out of the vocal fire line, "Uh, hi?"

Joyce and Buffy both looked at him and while Joyce smiled slightly, Buffy scowled at him as they both intoned, "Hello, Xander."

Joyce's response was cheerful, even a touch perky, but Buffy's was angry and more than a little resentful, which put him on edge even as he entered the room fully, wishing he had brought his gun with him, "Um, what's wrong?"

"Buffy, it seems, still has issues with her father," Giles put in from his place next to Jenny. "Hank has, apparently, offered to help Joyce with the expenses of her treatments – Buffy, as you may expect, isn't pleased to hear this."

"And her opinion on the matter itself is not needed or welcomed," Joyce put in rather primly, which enraged the vertically-challenged Slayer even more, but she went on, looking at him rather narrowly, "So, Xander, I have been told that you drugged me in order to get me into the hospital and to get treatment."

He did his best not to shrink into himself at her look, "And if that is true?"

"Why?"

He didn't miss a beat, "To make sure you got treatment and to make sure you lived in order to give Buffy a good, swift kick in the ass when she needed it." The others looked at him oddly as Joyce snorted, "What? It's not like you guys don't want to kick her in the ass when she does something really bone-headed!"

"As true as that might be, Xander," Giles added in smoothly even as Buffy gave vent to a rather affronted noise, "it's rather rude to say such things in front of her."

Xander shrugged, "True, but sometimes, when she's allowed to think for herself –"

"Xander!" He grinned unrepentantly at Buffy as she seethed, "Look, if you're done defaming my character, I have real problems to deal with."

"Like?"

"My dad is coming here – I distinctly remember telling him to go to hell when he told me he was getting married to that streetwalker Barbie reject!" She simmered even as the others gaped in the room, but Xander himself didn't even bat an eye as she began to pace, "He left mom for that bimbo and now he thinks he can waltz into our lives again like nothing happened?"

"Oh, grow up, Buffy." She spun and glared daggers at him, but honestly, Sasami's were much better, "Buffy, how long were your parents married? Twenty years? Don't you think that, even after a divorce that time counts for something?"

Buffy just glared at him icily, "Your point?"

"He's trying to tell you your father still has feelings for me, Buffy, and that he's coming here to make sure I get better," Joyce snapped, her humor gone. She looked at him and patted the spot of bed that was open, and he took up residency there even as she put her hand on the small of his back, "Now, when you've been married, had children, and divorced, find out your daughter is a mystical warrior and then are drugged to ensure your growing brain tumor is taken care of by said daughter's best friend, then you can be angry at your father – until then, stop acting like you are five all over again." Buffy, instead of doing as asked, just pouted, so Joyce turned back to him, her hand now trailing up and down his lower back, "Xander, when … when do you leave?"

"Tomorrow, noon," he answered quietly. "Apparently I'm needed to keep the Second Crowned Princess from killing her middle sister via wok-ing to death, and though it would behoove me greatly to not get involved, Sasami doesn't need any blood on her hands."

"Well, as long as Sasami is taken care of," Buffy griped sullenly, drawing his attention and his ire. "Oh, get off it, Xander – you don't care what happens to us, you just want to get to your precious Sasami and we're just holding you back."

Xander opened his mouth but then closed it, standing up instead, "Buffy, outside – NOW." His tone left no room for argument, and even though she did appear to want to argue, his grip on her wrist and rather undeniable yank towards the door told her she wasn't going anywhere but with him. Xander ignored her rather agitated grumblings and walked her out of the hospital and then let her go, "Okay, what in the hell is your problem, and don't give me that shit about your dad coming here."

She glared at him for a full minute before sighing and allowing her shoulders to sink, "I'm losing one of my best friends and you're asking me what my problem is?"

"This goes beyond that, Buffy – you've had time to get used to the idea of my not being here, so what's your deal?"

She didn't even look up, "I'm the Slayer now, singular, and as cool as that is, I can't even keep you here." She looked up and he wasn't surprised to see tears in her eyes, "I mean, the past three years, I know we haven't always been friends, in fact I can honestly say that, for a while, I barely tolerated your existence, but … but now you're going away, leaving me alone."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "Buffy, think about that last statement for a few seconds – you have your mother, Willow, Oz, Jenny, and Giles here. My leaving is pretty much a non-issue in that a major source of your irritation is gone – I can count on one hand the number of times you and I have agreed on methods and tactics in the destruction of demons since Halloween, and I would still have enough fingers left over to give you the 'one-finger salute'."

She squeezed her eyes together as something sank in and she nodded, "You're right, we don't agree on a lot of things, but it's that … that way you stood up to me when I got too full of myself that I don't want to leave."

This time he didn't resist the urge, he rolled his eyes, though only slightly, "Trust me, the only reason I did it was because I got to it before Willow did – when you need a good, swift kick in the ass, she will provide it to you without delay, believe me on that part."

Buffy still pouted, "But who am I going to get to tell me that my butt isn't too big?"

He gave her a look, "Trust me, Buffy – as too-skinny as you are getting that won't be an issue unless you try and stuff yourself into pair of size six-month corduroys." She gave him a slightly offended look, but she let it slide … for now, so he went on, "Now, are you going to act your age when we go back into your mother's room to apologize, or is she going to have to spank you?"

"You wish, gutter brain."

He gave her a smirking smile, "No, any wishing has me dolling out the spankings on someone else other than you."

Buffy smirked at him, "Mihoshi?"

Xander blatantly ignored the giggling in the back of his mind as he smirked back at Buffy, "No – someone else who is of legal age. What can I say," he went on blandly, "Kiyone likes it rough." His efforts did not go unrewarded as Buffy blushed a brilliant scarlet color and plaintively cried his name ala the Willow of old.

"Xander!"

(Later – Summers Residence)

Even as Xander, for the tenth time, patrolled the room and fluffed this and turned that, Joyce could not help but smile as, in his words, he wasn't going to leave her (Joyce) in a sty of mediocrity – he was a sweet young man who would make a wonderful husband and father one day, provided he ever settled down enough to find someone. "Xander? You've fluffed that pillow to death – let it lay."

He looked at her and then sighed, before adjusting the loose blue short-sleeved t-shirt he was now wearing under his black button-up shirt, "Alright." She could tell that he was as nervous as she was about Hank's impending arrival with his new wife, but what she also knew was that he had a rather large hand cannon tucked under his left arm in order to 'keep the peace' – if he got close enough for her to grab it … no, that would be wrong. After all, there was no need to get Xander into more trouble than he could get into himself …"So, Joyce, tell me, what do you think of this?"

"I made my peace with Hank long ago, Xander," she groaned, not wanting to rehash a subject that hurt as much as it did, especially with someone who was young enough for her to be his mother.

He gave her a level look, "I mean about Buffy and her … animosity … towards her father – I mean, trust me, I get the whole 'I hate my father' thing, hell, I think I perfected it, but …"

Joyce sighed and nodded at him, "Buffy was Hank's little princess, Xander, and just when she was about to prove her father could do no wrong, he files for divorce – he not only broke her heart, but he shattered her world … and she hasn't recovered from that." Joyce lay herself back further into the bed that Xander had flatly refused to let her out of since he had personally carried her up the stairs upon getting back home, an order that a naughty part of her mind didn't consider a bad thing as long as someone else was in the bed with her, but that part of her mind was quickly silenced as she began to think some more, "I just hope Buffy doesn't do something that she and I will both regret."

Xander nodded but then smirked at her slyly, "Right – shoot her before she gets that far?"

Joyce mock-glared at him, "To wound, only." The doorbell rang and she sighed once again, "Come on, Xander – time for you to carry an old woman in your arms down the stairs to meet her ex-husband and his new, young, mostly-plastic wife."

Xander walked over, a smile on his lips even as he pulled her comforter back and scooped her up easily, "Give me a good woman like you any day of the week, Joyce, over whoever she may be – there is nothing more sexy on this planet than a woman who knows how to fill out a pair of pajamas that are printed with cows, moons, stars and clouds." Joyce found herself blushing at that comment even as he walked out of the room, humming the tune to Simon and Garfunkle's 'Mrs. Robinson', which made her blush even more, but when he deposited her in the den and answered the door, she schooled her features into a flat mask.

"Yes?"

"Is Joyce in, young man?" Hank's voice had not changed much in the past few years, and it always amazed her how professional he sounded, unless he had drank one too many.

"And you would be, sir?" Joyce blinked at the same level tone in Xander's voice as he responded and made a mental note to scold him properly for it.

"Hank Summers, her ex-husband," Hank replied cordially, but a bit surprised as Xander took a step back, not asking him to enter though the sun was out. Hank walked in as if sensing the invitation in and Joyce caught her breath – he had slimmed down some, back to his solid 180 pound body that she had married him at, his hair was dyed a darker brown to hide his advanced graying, but he was still Hank, "Hello, Joyce."

"Hank, darling," came another voice, a younger and female voice, from the doorway, one laced with honey and venom in the same words, "you never told me you had a son that was this handsome." In walked the slut herself, dressed in a red miniskirt, halter top and three-inch pumps, her hair black as a raven's wing, her eyes green and her skin artificially tanned. She stood at nearly five feet ten inches tall, most of it being legs that were toned and sculpted, but she had also, apparently, gotten the best implants that Hank's substantial money could buy as they jutted out like the Goodyear blimps.

Hank, however, just frowned, "He isn't my son, honey – Joyce, who is this young man?"

Joyce, for a moment, contemplated telling Hank that Xander was her lover, her 18 year-old, virile, LEGAL, lover, but decided against that due to the fact that it would get back to Buffy, somehow, as Xander closed the door and ghosted to where she sat in her pajamas, "His name is Alexander Harris, and he's a friend of Buffy's who is helping me today, Hank. Why is she here?"

The woman gave her a look of sheer venom as Hank coughed, "She insisted, Joyce – I ask that you keep this meeting … civil. Joyce, this is Candice, my wife. Candy, this is Joyce my ex-wife, and … Alexander, Buffy's friend."

Candy smiled at Xander and Joyce felt her maternal instincts roaring at her as the woman blatantly flirted with Xander, "Hello, Alex! Call me Candy."

"Mrs. Summers," Xander corrected levelly. "Joyce has worked very hard to hammer some manners into me over the past few years, so I think I'll just call you Mrs. Summers." Candice gave him a slightly dark look even as Joyce found herself crowing in her mind in delight as Xander leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, "So, Mr. Summers, how do you intend to help Joyce?"

Hank, for his part, narrowed his eyes, "You talk about her teaching you in the ways of respect, and you call her 'Joyce'?"

"By my own insistence, Hank," Joyce broke in. "Xander was the soul of civility and has never tried to be anything but nice to me, except that once, but that was mainly our own mutual faults." She blushed, remembering the one time she had undressed and redressed Xander, after he had stumbled back into his lab from being out and about for over a month, keeping Sasami safe. "Either way, he poses a good question – how are you going to try and help?"

"Transportation to and from your treatments, charged to me, and upkeep of the house while you are taking your treatments," Hank offered even as Candy scowled from behind him. "We may no longer be married, but … we had a good thing, Joyce – yes, I screwed it up, but there isn't anything I can do about that now."

Joyce nodded slowly, having gone over this many times in her own mind and also with Buffy, "That's sweet, Hank. Thank you."

Candy decided that things were far too out of hand and broke the moment, "Why can't Xander take you to your treatments? After all, he's almost like your son, right?"

"Because I'm leaving the country tomorrow, Mrs. Summers," Xander stated somewhat coolly, "and I don't know when I will be back."

Candy just gave him a look, "What for?"

"Business – I'm technically contracted out as a bodyguard for a young woman in Japan, and I start my job in a few days." Joyce was amazed with how easily the lie slipped off of Xander's tongue even as he leaned back, shrugged off the look that both Candy and Hank gave him, "No big."

"I would think that a man of your wealth would not take up a job like being a bodyguard." Joyce arched her eyebrow even as Candy's eyes lit up slightly at Hank's words, who went on as Xander's face went into a flat mask, "I mean, I've done some looking, and someone named 'Alexander Harris' has been buying up stock in the right places in the technology firms and is making quite the bundle."

Joyce looked over at Xander and he simply shrugged at her, "What can I say? I made a few investments and they paid off big." Of course Joyce knew that there was more to Xander's story than that, but she let that issue slide even as he tensed up and his hand went for the gun under his shoulder.

Everything happened at once – Joyce winced as her front door was kicked open and Xander shot to his feet, Candy and Hank jumping up as a pistol came out of a holster and trained on the intruder, who turned out to be Buffy, who did not look at all amused as she stalked in, Willow, Giles and Jenny not far behind her. Buffy froze in place, her eyes almost glowing with anger even as she zeroed in on her father and Candy, Xander finished bringing his gun up and Giles appeared to slip on a piece of broken doorframe.

"Buffy?" To say that Hank was shocked would have been the understatement of the decade even as Xander put his gun away, shaking his head in what Joyce assumed to be disgust, "What in the world…?"

"Hello, Father," Buffy bit out even as she walked forwards, only to be intercepted by Xander, who held her firmly in place. "Who's your whore?"

"BUFFY!" Joyce snapped out, at once mortified at her daughter's lack of manner but, at the same time, wondering just how long Xander could hold Buffy back if she decided to attack 'Candy', "Apologize to your father, now."

Buffy gave her a look, her eyes narrowing, but she then sighed, "Fine – I'm sorry for kicking the door in, dad." Joyce waited for a second, hoping to hear an apology from Buffy to Candy, but wasn't too surprised when it never came.

Hank introduced Candice, who smiled winningly at Buffy, "Hello, Buffy." That smile waned noticeable as Buffy said nothing in return, her forward motion halted by Xander's hands on her shoulders, his lips close to her ear an whispering something fiercely but softly, too softly for Joyce to hear, but it, apparently, was having the desired effect as Buffy appeared to calm down enough for the homicidal smell in the room to dissipate to an appreciable level.

"You appear to have some experience in keeping my daughter in check, Xander," Hank said somewhat dryly even a Candice glowered and sulked lightly. "Do you do that often?"

Xander just shrugged, "Normally I'm the one causing her irritation because I don't follow her as blindly as I once did – our methods of doing things are vastly different and she doesn't like what I do half of the time."

"You cheat," Buffy griped. "You use technology and stuff when old fashioned elbow grease can do it."

Xander just snorted, "The first time you heard that term you and Cordelia started using lotion on this and that and exfoliates that to get that 'grease' off of your respective skin." Buffy glared at him even as Joyce found herself giggling at that particular thought, but Xander went on, "More to the point, when it comes to things like that, I'm lazy." Joyce could see the confusion in Hank's and Candy's eyes but said nothing as things went back and forth.

Later on, after Willow, Jenny and Giles had been properly introduced, not to mention that she herself had taken her medications, Joyce found herself rather drowsy and being carried up to bed by Xander, but not alone as Hank followed her up and sat by her side as Xander left, leaving them alone to speak somewhat freely, "What is it, Hank?"

"It's just that … this 'Xander' is more than he appears to be. I mean, he seems like a nice young man, but he's going to be a bodyguard, and is armed right now … and you don't seem fazed at all by it."

Joyce snorted, "I've gotten used to it, Hank, and don't let his face fool you – I've seen Xander at his worst, in situations that defy the imagination, and that's when you see him for what he really is." She shifted in her bed and looked out of the window, seeing the sky as the sun set, "He's lead a hard life, all of the kids have here in Sunnydale, but where most would say that the things that happen here don't, Xander, Willow and Buffy stepped up to the plate, as it were. You'd be proud of them all, Hank."

"I don't remember Buffy ever being this … violent, Joyce – I know her last semester at Hermey wasn't ideal, but … isn't her wanting to kill me and all a touch extreme?"

Joyce looked at him for a long moment before sighing, "Put yourself in her shoes, Hank…"

Hank, showing her a sense of humor that often rivaled Xander's, looked down at his feet and shook his head, "Nope, not with gunboats like these, Joyce."

She gave him a level look and he became rather quiet, "As I was saying, Hank, she loved you and, to her, the world revolved around you – you broke that trust and she's angry. Trust me, if she can vent like this, let her so she can get it out of her system – it's not healthy." He nodded and Joyce smiled, "Good, now go get Candy and save her from Buffy – she and Xander are walking the town one last time before he leaves and I expect there to be a screaming match between them."

Hank arched an eyebrow, "Are you sure they aren't going out? That's how you and I got started, as I recall…"

Joyce shook her head, "No, there's nothing romantic there – once it was Xander pining after Buffy, but he got over that and it went to her pining after Xander for a while. They're friends, only."

(Later – Sunnyside Cemetery)

Xander ducked another wild swing from a lone vamp while Buffy continued to break her vamp's skull open like a coconut on a handy headstone – they'd been on a final patrol for a little over an hour when the pair of vamps had popped up and while Xander was finding his vamp to have once actually having some training in the martial arts, Buffy was just venting her pent up anger with her father and his new wife. After about five minutes, though, his vampire was dust and Buffy's was looking like he'd been dropped, repeatedly, from a tall building, "Buffy. Finish him."

She looked up at him, her eyes slightly red and two wet tracks marking her face, but she nodded and slammed her foot into the vamp's chest, crushing his ribs into his heart and dusting him, mercifully. She then sat down on top of the dusty headstone and sniffled as he walked over to her, "I was a complete bitch, wasn't I?"

Xander sat next to her, arching his eyebrow, "Is this a rhetorical question? Because if it is, I'm not going to answer," he stated with a slight smile as she sniffled and chuckled softly at the same time. After a few minutes of just sitting there, he spoke up again, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's the point? You and everyone else will just tell me I'm acting like a brat who needs to get spanked, hard, and repeatedly, until I learn my lesson … and if you say one thing about wanting to watch, I will hurt you," she glared up at him and Xander put on his best 'Who, me?' face, but he knew she could see right through it.

"It will help if you do talk about it – trust me, like you told your mom, I pretty much perfected the 'I hate my parent' technique, and it does work if you do talk about it." He put a friendly arm over her shoulder and pulled her close, which she didn't resist, "Besides, if you don't I'll have to resort to either tickling you or go grab Willow and make her give you the Resolve Face."

"Cheater," Buffy grumbled as she pulled away. "Mom told you about dad and me, right? I was his little princess and he was someone who could do no wrong?" Xander nodded and she went on, "Well, what she didn't tell you was that he filed for divorce behind my back, while I was in that asylum that mom put me in before I moved to Sunnydale and never told me about any of this until after the divorce was final." Xander winced at the raw emotion in her voice as she got off of the tombstone and began to pace, "I mean, shouldn't he have at least had that much courage to tell me he was leaving mom for that bitch, Candy?"

Xander just shrugged, "And how does rehashing all of this now accomplish anything?"

Buffy stopped pacing and was silent for a moment before she spoke, "It doesn't really, but … I just want to be so MAD at him …"

Xander nodded, standing up and leading her away from the main part of the cemetery as he did, "When you come up with a better reason than that let me know – for now, though, let's go back to your house so your new step-mom can attempt to hit on me again."

Buffy growled, "Oh, I hope she tries that in front of dad so he'll kick her to the curb…"

Xander looked at her, "You know, it's a good thing I didn't get you those anger management classes as a going-away present like I first intended, Buff – you'd need a lot of them … and I'm going to shut up while I'm ahead now."

Buffy growled and took a swipe at him, but he dodged, "Oh, too slow, Buffy – must be your old age showing …" he teased as he skipped again out of her range before taking off across the cemetery with Buffy The Vampire Slayer right on his heels.

(Summers Residence – Later)

Joyce watched Xander gingerly move the ice from one part of his arm to another from the 'rabid animal attack' he had sustained between the cemetery and her house, but Joyce could see some of the bruises that were shaped just like Buffy's tiny little fists and knew that he had done something ill-advised to set her off – funny, she was sure, but ill-advised, "Xander? Are you okay?"

He nodded at her, "Sure, Joyce – just thinking about how bad of an idea it was to tease your daughter when she's that much stronger than I am." He winced again as the front door opened and the trio of Buffy, Hank and Candy walked in – Hank was in one piece, and Buffy was actually semi-smiling, but Candy looked more than a little sullen as Xander spoke up, "Ice cream?"

Buffy nodded happily as Hank sighed, "I swear, you could make her the President of the United States, but give her some Rocky Road with double fudge sauce and sprinkles and she'd let you have the keys to Fort Knox."

Buffy sniffed, "No, it'd have to have cherries with it, too, for that." She walked over and flopped next to Xander, who grunted slightly as he replaced the ice pack, "Oh, quiet, you big baby – I didn't hit you that hard."

Joyce winced as Xander looked up and glared at her daughter, "Feel lucky that I have a thing against hitting girls who aren't in the process of trying to kill me."

Candy perked up slightly, "And if she had tried to kill you?"

Xander didn't miss a beat, "Then I'd be running for my life from Joyce and Buffy would be in a body bag." Joyce paled slightly at the slightly hollow sound of Xander's voice, but kept her face in check as both Hank's and Candy's jaws dropped in shock "What?"

"You … would kill my daughter?"

Xander just shrugged at Hank's question, "If she was trying to kill me, then yes – she and I have hashed it out long ago over this and I don't want to go back into it, namely because she gets all 'girl power' on us and tries to challenge me for some kind of ego prize of some kind, but she really starts to pout when I don't let her win."

Hank blinked at this and Buffy growled, ""Let' me win, Xander? I had you beat, cold, those four times we sparred, but I let you win." Xander just gave her a rather smug grin that said 'you know you're wrong, but you won't admit it', but he let it go as she sighed, "Look, another topic, please?"

Joyce nodded, "Very well – Xander, when is your … departure time?"

Xander just shrugged in a slightly deceptive way, "12 noon, enough time for goodbyes, a light lunch, and to lock down my lab until Jenny gets out of the hospital." Joyce winced at the thought of Jenny, how she had been thrown clear of the blast that had killed Faith, but her left leg had been broken in four places and she was going to be in the hospital for a while yet.

"Good, then I'll have cookies made for you before you go!" Joyce looked at Buffy, as did Xander, but while Joyce held out hope for her daughter to, one day, learn how to make edible food, Xander just looked sick, "What?"

"No need, Buff – they'd probably get destroyed by the end of the trip, anyway," Xander said smoothly, forcing Joyce to giggle silently, knowing that he'd probably just throw the cookies away (or try and figure out a way to use them as weapons against the undead).

(Later)

Xander felt her glide up just behind him and hover there for several seconds, the smell of strawberries and her bubblegum perfuming the air as Buffy and Hank argued over the spelling of a Scrabble word, a game that had been taken up when Hank had decided that his winning streak in the game needed to be lengthened, and Joyce tried to play referee, "Hello, Mrs. Summers."

"Please, while we're alone, call me Candy, Xander," she purred as her arms went around his waist before her hands began to travel up and down his front. "Tell me, why is it that you and Buffy aren't dating? I mean, you two would be so cute together…"

He reached down and removed her hands from his chest, "We'd kill each other first, Mrs. Summers, and that boat sailed a very long time ago." He stepped away from her, but she persisted and followed him to the other side of the opening to the dining room, "Must I remind you that you're a married woman?"

Her hands now rested on his shoulders, massaging them lightly, "Oh, don't be such a prude, Xander – from what I caught earlier, Joyce has done more than this, on occasion."

"Once, and that was because I was passed out from over a month of trial by fire training," he said, moving away once again before turning and looking at her rather pointedly. She smacked her gum at him in an almost sultry manner, but he ignored her, "Now, I'm not sure what game you're playing, ma'am, but I don't play games."

She stepped forwards and traced a red-painted nail up his shirt to the throat and then down to his navel, "Too bad – I like games."

"Is that so, Candy?" Hank's voice melted out of nowhere, which was odd, given that he was still sitting at the table with Buffy, who, from the sound of her whimpering, was getting thrashed at Scrabble, "Because it appears to me that you're doing your level best to seduce a younger man while you are married."

Hank's voice held a chilled note to it, Xander noted, while Candy's held a slightly panicked tone as she looked around his torso to Hank, her face slightly flushed, "Um, Hank, darling, I was just … eh … playing around?"

"Really?" Xander pushed away from the wall towards where Joyce was while Hank stood up, his green eyes shining lightly, "Because as I recall, that's how you started out with me."

"Is that so?" Joyce stood up and used him as a semi-cane, her medications often making her legs weak, "Is that how you stole my husband from under me?"

At this, Candy just snorted, "Please, doing that was easy, Joyce – it's not like you were anything special to keep him at home…" Candy's voice trailed off slightly as she realized what she was saying, even as Hank's face hardened slightly and Buffy stood up, "Besides, he's a cute guy – there's nothing wrong with flirting."

"Flirting? Absolutely not, but you were about to start molesting him," Joyce steamed lightly her grip hardening on his shoulder before it slipped to his arm. "Why, Xander and I flirt all the time."

Candy smirked slightly, "And what about what Willow said earlier, about your changing his clothes once?"

"That was when he was passed out from exhaustion and he was injured – like I told him later, he had nothing I hadn't seen before," Joyce stepped forward and, for a second, Xander was worried that she was going to jump on Candy and beat her into the ground. "Of course, it had been a long time since I had seen a male body that was that hard and yummy-looking, but my flirting with Xander went back much further than that. I'm 37, not dead," she finished before sitting down in the chair that was right there, but Buffy just stared at her, scandalized.

"Candy, honey, can I have a word with you in private?" Hank walked out of the room, towards the front stoop, with Candice in tow, while Xander sat himself next to Joyce and Buffy joined them.

Buffy looked at her mother and said, very cattily in Xander's mind, "Robbing the cradle, mom?"

"At least I'm only 19 years older than him, Buffy – how much older than you was Angel?" Xander winced at the sharp tone in Joyce's voice even as Buffy also winced at the truth in it, but all three of them winced at the occasional harsh word that floated towards them from where Hank and Candy were. After a moment, though, Joyce sighed, "I'm sorry, Buffy, but that … that woman makes me want to … to," Joyce then let out an aggravated growl, to which Buffy nodded.

"I know the feeling, mom. So, just how much of Xander did you really see? Last time I saw anything was when Willow got that picture of him in his swimming Speedo," Xander lowered his head and repressed a whimper at that particular memory, from when he had infiltrated the school Swim Team and, in a fit of evilness, Willow had gotten a picture of him crawling out of the water.

Joyce arched an eyebrow, "There's a picture? I've heard tales of this Speedo from Jenny and Willow, but I never knew there was a photo."

Xander just shut out the world and pounded his head into the table, repeatedly.

(Next day, Summers Residence – 1100)

Buffy was literally bouncing in place, which very rarely boded well for anyone, as she only did it before she destroyed something nasty and made it hurt a lot, but with the way that Joyce was smiling, Hank was, though he looked a touch more than frazzled, smiling and Candy was spectacularly missing, Buffy had either been allowed to kill her step-mother or, "Gone?"

"Yeppers!" Buffy proceeded to bounce around in a series of circles, her pigtails flying around as she squeezed Mister Gordo to a stuffing-rent death, but both Hank and Joyce smiled on tolerantly as she did.

"Apparently Hank saw too many things that she had hooked him with that she was apparently starting to do with you, Xander," Joyce explained a few moments later when Buffy calmed down. "He's called his lawyer already to file papers, and she ran off this morning … after sunrise."

"I shouldn't be surprised," Hank sighed as he sat back into the couch, "but I must say that I am almost sorry to see her go." He winced as both Joyce and Buffy glared at him, but Xander didn't feel a bit of pity for him at all, "I mean, we were … are, still, married."

Xander just shrugged, "Okay, so you made another mistake – pre-nup?" Hank shook his head negative and both Summers woman sighed, "Good, you possibly avoided another."

"And what makes you such an expert on pre-nups, young man?"

"Nothing, but I make deals with your daughter all of the time, and I'm still alive to talk about it," Xander said, somewhat cheekily. The cheek, though, stopped when Mister Gordo came in and, with some semblance of a flying head butt, slammed into the side of his face, startling him and knocking him over.

"You were saying, Xander," Joyce asked as he got up and Buffy retrieved the stuffed swine. "Still, you have dealt with Buffy enough to learn when you can and cannot win against her."

"Yes, just play her in Scrabble and you'll always win, as long as you have a dictionary next to you," Hank added smoothly, touting his latest victory over his daughter.

Buffy just growled, "Hey, I still say 'transmogrification' is NOT a word! It isn't even in the dictionary for crying out loud!"

"Dear, your dictionary is easily ten years out of date – I assure you that it is a word," Hank pressed gently, as if trying to defend his word against his daughter. He then turned to Xander, "Right?"

"I do believe it is a word, but if it is in the Dictionary yet, I'd be impressed – Transmogrify, I'd say no doubt, but …"

"YES! HA! YOU LOSE, DAD!" Buffy's scream rattled through the house, but she soon stood down fro the couch, and put her pig down, "So, Xander, what's Sasami's parents have to say about her hiring you behind their backs?"

Xander thought about it, "Well, Misaki loves the idea that her youngest is finally showing that she can wield power, Funhao wants some of my tech stuff, but Asuza isn't all that thrilled with me, something about my disrespecting his eldest." He and Asuza got along like fire and grease – it wasn't pretty, but they tried to at least be civil in front of the others, "In most respects, the entire Misaki household is as dysfunctional as they get, but somehow they make it work – not sure how, but they make it work."

Hank just blinked, "And the daughter is the one who hired you? How did you two meet?"

"Through a scientist friend of hers," Xander hedged slightly, "but after we got to know each other, I was hired."

"Are you coming back?"

He looked over at the doorway and saw both Willow and Giles standing there, Cordelia having left the day before and Oz parking his van, and he nodded, "I'll stop in from time to time, just to check up on you guys, but don't expect those visits very often – Sasami is my first priority, and if she's safe, I'll see about coming here." With that, he stood up and stretched out, "Now, I'm not one for long goodbyes, so I'll make this quick – I've got you guys presents, you will accept them, and then I'm gone." He reached into his bag and pulled out several manila envelopes and passed them out to the appropriate people, "Now, Giles, give Jenny and Linda theirs, Willow, give Oz his, and when you get Cordelia's address, send her hers, and for God's sakes, don't open any of them until I'm gone – no gag gifts, but there'll be some tears, some joy and, in one instance, maybe some homicidal tendencies." He pointedly ignored Willow's glare at him, one that demanded answers, but he just picked up his shoulder bag (given to him by Washu – it held everything he owned, armor included), hugged everyone goodbye, and walked out of the door.

He was nearly to the end of the block when he heard Buffy scream, "ALEXANDER LAVELLE HARRIS, GET YOUR SCRAWNY ASS BACK HERE!" Yes, he decided as he picked up his pace from a walk to a light run, getting her those anger management classes as a gag gift was enough to really set her off – if he was lucky, he'd get to his lab and to the Misaki residence before she got to him.

On cue, the heavens opened up and poured their wet rains upon him.


	13. Chapter 13

13?

AN: short chapter – sorry.

AN2: Okay, a little lighter stuff and some Xander (non-bloody) whumping / torture in this chapter – you have been warned.

(Misaki Residence)

It had been a full two days since he had come to the Misaki residence in order to help protect Sasami at the behest of Tsunami, and already Xander dreaded waking up – he had entered the house and had enough time to lock down the dimensional door that linked his world and Washu's lab, before he had been attacked by a rather surprising source; Tenchi had leveled him in hopes of using him as a human shield to keep him from being caught by Ryoko and Ayeka, both of whom had been hit by one of Washu's older experiments and were looking to jump Tenchi's bones. Thankfully, though, the effects of the old experiment wore off in a few hours, so Xander was able to get rid of 'his cowardly shadow', but he was then assaulted by both Dawn and Sasami, both of whom spent the rest of the evening clamoring for his attention.

He opened his eyes and almost sighed at the now-typical scene in his room – he lay on his futon, dressed in a pair of shorts and socks, and on his left was Dawn, who had wrapped both her arms and legs around his left appendages, while Sasami had done the same, save to his right side, and neither of them were going anywhere until they woke up. Compounding all of this was the giggling he was now hearing in the back of his head from Tsunami, who was often amused to no end by the antics of the two teenaged girls, but those giggles were not alone – standing in his doorway at the obscenely early hour of 6 am, were both Kiyone and Mihoshi, both of them dressed in workout clothes.

"Liking all of the attention, Xander?" Kiyone Makebe, who stood at nearly five seven inches tall, with teal hair and sapphire blue eyes, creamy skin and still with her hideous orange headband, was quite a creature to behold even when dressed down for training, but she also had one seriously demented sense of humor from years of dealing with both Mihoshi and the duo of Ayeka and Ryoko, so he shot her a glare as Mihoshi giggled, "Don't look at me like that, Xander – we're ready for training, and you promised to help us out."

"Yes, I did," he rasped out quietly, starting to torque his left arm free from Dawn before freeing it and working on Sasami. He'd learned from Ayeka that Sasami had this spot behind her ear that, when stroked, made her release her prey that she had glomped on to n the evening, so he stroked said area and, as if by magic, Sasami let him go, turning over and continuing to snore softly. Xander stood, stretched, pulled on a shirt and grabbed both his shoes and a pair of sweats before walking after the two GP officers to the living room.

"So, Xander," Mihoshi started out as he pulled on his sweats, "what do you think of this loony bin we call a house?"

"It takes a little getting used to, Mihoshi, but it's not so bad that I can't find a reason to like it here." Sometimes it really hurt to be in the same room with the woman he couldn't have for another two centuries plus, but while both of them had resolved to not fall in love with each other again, nobody said they couldn't be friends, "Are you two sure I'm not going to be a burden on your workout schedule?"

"Nah," Kiyone drawled as he laced up his sneakers, "I need a new sparring partner now that Tenchi refuses to spar with me. Besides, we need to get you up to snuff on some of the things that you're going to be encountering on the job, and while we're not doing this officially, you're safer with us than you are with Washu."

Xander nodded a this as they crept out of the house, lightly shutting the door behind them before starting their stretches before starting off on a 'light' run; he'd woken up after his first night in the home to find himself strapped to the medical bed of Washu, who was dressed once again in her nurse's uniform, and she was looking for 'that elusive sample', but had eventually let him out of the situation to go back to bed, "So, ladies, how has work been?"

"Quiet," both officers answered in tandem, though Mihoshi with a yawn. Kiyone went on, "Most of the saner criminals avoid the Sol sector like the plague, so we only get the occasional illegal dumper or bandit out here – nothing too bad."

The first two miles went in silence as they ran through the forests, around the lake, down the road leading up to the Misaki 'estate' and then back again, but finally it was Mihoshi who broke the silence with only a slightly puff in her voice, "So, Xander, why not join the Jurian military? Wouldn't that be easier to help you do what you need to do?"

He just shook his head, "Nope, make it harder. The way I get it, I have to be a citizen to join, and then I answer to my CO – more chances to get taken out of the way; if I work directly for Sasami or Queen Misaki, then its all good." He was more than a little depressed to hear that, despite the general populace being near the pinnacle of social equality, the ruling parties of the Jurian empire were, quite possibly, the biggest bunch of racist and xenophobic bastards known to anyone, with several notable exceptions – they all respected their emperor, they mostly all liked Queen Misaki, but barely tolerated his Earth-born wife, Funhao, perhaps the most powerful of the bunch with her network of spies and with her heading of most of the major intelligence communities within the Empire.

Kiyone nodded at this, "That's good to hear – of course, I have to pitch the idea to you to join the GP, right? There's this other guy from Earth, Sinea Yamada, I think, who just joined and he seems to be doing … well – he has the worst luck of anyone we've ever seen, but he's at least trying, so you could be just as good."

"You just want to see me in uniform, don't you, Kiyone?" Xander, for his part, loved teasing Kiyone because of some of the comments she had made about him that had gotten back to his ears (mostly through Sasami, but also from Joyce and Willow), and he took the chance whenever he could just to see if she would turn that rather interesting shade of red she always turned.

Kiyone blushed as Mihoshi giggled next to her, "I've seen you in uniform before, Xander, and while it was … inspiring, that's not the reason why." She then lashed out an elbow at Mihoshi, who blocked it, "Quiet, you."

"Come on, Kiyone," Mihoshi teased, "we all know you sneak looks at his butt more than Dawn and Sasami do." Xander joined Kiyone in her blush, though more to the thought of Sasami looking at his butt, "I mean, it's nice to look at, and even nicer to squeeze, but there is no reason to be ashamed of it."

The next two miles went about as long, but the labor of it was starting to catch up to them as, by the time they reached the house again, Xander had Mihoshi on one shoulder and For several minutes, they sat on the front stoop, catching their breaths, and Kiyone removed her sweatshirt to reveal a t-shirt, Mihoshi doing the same, only revealing a tank top, and Xander … well, he still had on his regular shirt, and while being bare-chested wasn't a modesty thing around the two GP officers, he wasn't going to invite trouble … or cat calls.

The silence was broken a few moments later, "So, Xander, ready for a crash course in GP hand-to-hand?" He looked over at Kiyone, who was grinning lightly as she stood up and stretched out, "I promise you I won't hurt you … much."

He snorted even as he and Mihoshi got to their feet, "Bring it on, Kiyone – I'm not scared of a girl with no color coordination."

Mihoshi giggled even as Kiyone mock glared at him, "That's no WOMAN with no color coordination, Xander, and you're going to pay for that remark."

He simply smiled at her and gave her the 'just bring it' gesture, "Hop to, toots."

(3 hours later)

Tenchi watched the door slide open and repressed a grin as Xander limped into the house, dirt covering his back, face and chest, bruises showing, and rapidly fading, on his arms and chest, and as he walked towards the ossen, Tenchi felt obliged, as a member of the male half of the species, to ask, "Are you okay, Xander?"

"Just going to the ossen, Tenchi; if Kiyone ever asks me to help her practice her grappling and immobilization techniques again, and I am sober as I say yes, do me a favor and shoot me to death, please?"

"Aw, did she hurt you, Xander?" Tenchi smirked as Ryoko faded in behind Xander and patted him lightly on the shoulder before walking over and sitting next to him and Ayeka on the couch.

Xander just whimpered in response as he went into the ossen, shutting the door as he did; once he was gone, though, Tenchi cracked a smile as Ayeka chuckled and spoke, "So, how long do you think it will be before Xander realizes that Kiyone has feelings for him as well?"

"Better question is if he'll survive – I swear she's part Amazon, Tenchi," Ryoko shuddered, remembering her last encounter with the teal-tressed GP detective. "So that's Dawn, Sasami, Kiyone and Mihoshi who want to jump his bones – remind you of anyone we all know, beloved?"

Tenchi winced, "I'm just glad I only have you two – I'm not sure I'd survive all of them."

The room went quiet and, instantly Tenchi knew he was in trouble as Ayeka arched a purple eyebrow, "Oh, 'only' us two, dear? Were you considering others?"

"Of course not, Ayeka," Tenchi blurted out quickly, forever banishing the idea of any more than two wives from his mind forever, "it's just that … until I made my decision the other day, I wasn't sure if I would survive more than you two."

Ryoko looked over at Ayeka as he tried to think of ways to keep out of trouble, "What do you think, Ayeka? Seven?"

Ayeka shook her head, "Six, maybe a six and a half – not enough terror in his voice."

Tenchi whimpered.

(Kitchen)

Sasami smirked as she chopped vegetables and listened to Tenchi dig himself a deeper hole in the ground to be buried in, eventually; in the back of her mind, she made a mental note to thank Xander for finding that comedy channel on the interdimensional radio he'd given her, and also praised Bill Engvall for the same joke, which passed her lips, "You women are smart – you make us think you're helping us out of these holes and you're just handing us bigger shovels."

"You know, sis, it's a bad sign when you're talking to yourself." Ah, yes, the bane of her existence – Dawn stood in the doorway of the kitchen, covered in dirt from her chores in the carrot patch, and smirking as she slipped off her boots and slipped out of her overalls, "Hearing voices in our head, are we?"

Sasami was half-tempted to tell her about Tsunami taking up more and more frequent residency in her head, but only gave her a cool look instead, pointing her vegetable knife at her, "Don't even start, sister – I'm just listening to Tenchi dig himself a deeper hole."

Dawn smiled at this, "Ah, yes, one of the few things that we can both agree on and take pleasure in – how is the spineless wonder?"

Sasami shrugged as she went back to chopping the bok choy she'd picked up the day before at the market, "Alive, if his current predicament counts as alive, and barely afloat."

"And Xander?"

Sasami's grip on her knife tensed even as her sister's voice spoke Xander's name with a touch too much honey and FAR too much interest – idly, she wondered if this was how Ayeka had felt when Ryoko had spoke and acted on Tenchi as she once had, "He's been training with Kiyone and Mihoshi all morning – he's recuperating, to say the least."

Dawn winced at this thought, "Poor guy – not even Ryoko and Ayeka train with those two. Well, I'll see you for lunch – I need a bath." With that, Dawn went through the kitchen and towards the ossen.

Sasami just smiled and went back to chopping her bok choy for all of ten seconds before part of Xander's earlier conversation came back to her mind 'Just going to the ossen, Tenchi…', "Crap!"

Naturally, it was at this time that there was a scream from within the ossen, several splashes and the sound of someone fainting and hitting the hard wood deck – this wasn't going to be fun, Sasami decided as she ran into the ossen, which was thick with steam.

(Later)

Xander, for the fifth time in as many minutes, made sure that his shirt and pants were indeed tucked, buttoned and zipped up as they should have been even as he went to the kitchen for an ice pack for his throbbing forehead, which he had gotten from Dawn's foot when she had walked in on him in the ossen – she had an amazing reach with her legs and one hell of a kick, too, as he had found out first hand before falling back into the water as she proceeded to faint. He had just wanted a simple hot bath to relax his muscles even as they repaired themselves from the beating he had received from Kiyone earlier, and a dip in the ossen was always the trick to do it, but apparently Dawn had wanted a trip to the baths, too, hence their unintentionally nude meeting.

Sasami was waiting on him, ice pack in hand and a sad smile on her face as she shook her head, "Can't even take a bath without being molested by her, can you?"

He took the pack with a slight grin towards his 'savior', a title had called her from the way she had, fully-clothed, dove into the water to 'save' him from drowning, "Thank you, my savior, and I highly doubt that her intentions were to molest me, Sasami – she was … startled, to say the least, by something."

Sasami turned, but he noticed that her cheeks were red, as were her ears, "Oh, I'm sure about that, Xander – we both were." He silently cursed himself for not locking the door before stripping down to his birthday suit, but that was the past, he couldn't change it … and lunch sure smelled good as Sasami went back to the stove, "So, feeling better?"

"Much – you?"

She shrugged and tended her soup some more, "I'll be okay – I mean, it's not every day you dive in after your naked bodyguard from downing, after all."

He chuckled even as the back door was opened to reveal both Kiyone and Mihoshi, both of whom were just returning from their patrol schedule, "How's Dawn?"

"Recovering – Washu says she'll wake up in a few hours. Hi Kiyone, Mihoshi."

"Hiya, squirt," Kiyone chimed in, walking over and playing with both of Sasami's pigtails, gaining a mock growl out of the younger girl before she walked over towards him. "Feeling better, Xander?"

"Much. How was work?"

Mihoshi chimed in with a whine, "We got pulled into a security detail! All those crooks saw us coming and turned tail and ran." Xander walked over and gave her a hug as she pouted, a hug that she leaned into with a sigh.

Kiyone spoke up dryly, "Mihoshi, you refer to the Ruling Council of Elders from Kravisthal as 'Lords and Ladies', not 'crooks'."

Mihoshi sniffed, "Same difference." She then sniffed him again, "You're wearing that cologne I gave you last year?"

Xander nodded, "Yup, it's nice." They pulled away from each other and Xander stretched out before putting his ice pack into place again, "So, what's up?"

"Time for more school, Xander, and Professor Makebe is teaching you some of the finer points of galactic protocol today," Kiyone smiled at him as she walked forwards, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out of the kitchen.

As they made their way to the transport pad, he was able to howl out a plea for help, a plea that was cheerfully ignored by both Mihoshi and Sasami, the latter of whom even waved goodbye as Ryo-ohki took her perch upon the princess' head.

(Inside Yukonojo)

Xander fell into her side as they began to laugh, wrapped around each other as their mirth swelled – they'd been playing each other in front of the others for the past few days and, quite frankly, it was starting to get to her; she liked him, she really did, and if it weren't for the fact that she was GP and he was working for Sasami, then there might be a chance for some fun there, but that wasn't going to happen for a while now. In all actuality, Kiyone had known that there was this … thing … between her and Xander about two hours after they met – they just clicked on some level, but not the same one that he and Mihoshi clicked on; by no means was she 'in love' with him, but there was that one part of her mind … "Hey, Xander?"

He stopped laughing for a few seconds, "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Shoot."

Kiyone sat up a little and looked down at her hands, "Do you think that a guy can love more than one woman, but love all of those women the same?"

"Absolutely, and I'm proof of it, sorta." He sat up and next to her, collecting his thoughts for a second, and then speaking, "It's possible for a guy to do that, and visa versa, but they have to be honest with themselves – I mean, I loved Faith, Willow, Buffy, Jenny, Joyce, even Linda, on some level all the same, just like I love all you girls … err … women, here."

She flushed lightly at that, "And how can you tell if you love them like that or some other way?"

Xander just shrugged, "Not sure – I loved Faith more than I'll probably ever know, but I didn't love any of the others any less. Why?"

She just shrugged, "No reason, just thinking."

He gave her an odd look, "I thought we agreed that you'd lay off the ID reruns of Dr. Phil? Last time you got hooked on that, we spent seven hours confessing sins of the past to each other about crap we've never even done!"

She gave him a level look, "I can handle my watching Dr. Phil – I'm not addicted, I only have a … unhealthy interest in watching it, that's all." THAT had been something that she'd really wished he'd never walked in on, nearly two months before, and since then he had made sure to lock out her access to the Dr. Phil shows from the years 2003 to 2009, which irked her greatly, "But that fact aside, I was just thinking about it, you know?"

He nodded and leaned back into her side, which caused her to throw an arm around his shoulders, "It's cool, really, you just have to remember where to draw the line sometimes … and when to say 'fuck the line' and obliterate it." From his tone, she could tell that he had some experience with fucking the line, so to speak, but she kept quiet about it as they sat on the cold floor of the orbiting space craft.

Finally, though, her ass got cold, "Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"We need to get to your lessons." She got to her feet and he wasn't far behind her, "Ready?"

"Only if you wear those cute little glasses of yours while you teach, and those stockings of yours," he leered playfully down at her tights-clad legs, growling as he did.

She gave him a smirk, "You know, you'd better be glad we're both leg people, or I'd be vaguely insulted by that." With that, they went off to the bridge of the ship and into session – they had only a few more days to cover a lot of ground, and not nearly enough time to cover it all.

AN: Alright, people, that's it. What do you think? Kinda fluffy, I know, and somewhat cheesy in areas, but it was all in the name of good, clean Xander torture. R&R, if you would, AR.


	14. Chapter 14 please read end note

14?

(Washu's lab)

Xander looked first at the articles in front of him, and then up at the 'legendary mad scientist' Washu Habiki, and then back down at the table, "Washu … what the hell have you done to my armor?"

"Made it more portable and accessible to you if you ever find yourself needing it," the scientist fired back immediately, though the response was muffled – that, though, was expected, especially when the upper half of her child-like body was stuffed into a machine. "I took a few ideas from some mangas Tenchi loaned to me a while back and came up with this."

'This' was actually six pieces of a semi-flexible armor that bore only a little resemblance to his Power Suit, save for the coloration – the boots, which came up to his mid-shin, were solid and metallic in nature, but that wasn't to be expected, while the gauntlets were nearly three quarters the length of his forearm and looked to be made out of a leather-like substance that he wasn't sure he wanted to be named, though the cannon arm gauntlet was a touch thicker than the other gauntlet. There was a belt, a thick, black and gray segmented, belt that was cocked off to one side, like an old gun-slinger's belt, and at it's side was what Xander thought to be the business end of his power beam cannon, some sort of hand cannon with a pistol grip on it, and with that belt came the last piece of the pie, as it were, the torso armor – it was large, almost like Class III body armor, but while it had the coverage of the Kevlar armor, it wasn't nearly as heavy, in fact if it weighed more than fifteen pounds, he'd eat Ryoko's cooking, "Wow."

"Darn tootin'," Washu said, shimmying out of the machine she was in. "Now, the torso armor is … conspicuous, at best, so I made another piece to go with it, to help with its disguise."

Xander looked at the item she produced and scowled, "Washu, I'm a body guard, not Batman – lose the cape and cowl."

Washu sniffed at this, taking away the monstrosity with the pointed bat ears, "Fine, but I say you have no sense of dramatic flair." She threw the cowl and cape into a subspace pocket and shut it before another opened, spitting out a lump of black material, "Try this."

It was long, black and surprisingly heavy for cloth, but it also looked a touch too much like something Deadboy would wear – the duster itself was a more traditional three-quarter length cut with flared cuffs on the wrists to allow for movement of his gauntlets, but instead of the cool 'kick ass' aura it would give off on the consummate bad boy in any action flick he could name, this one gave off a more … sinister … feel to him even as he slipped on the armor and then the duster. More importantly, it fit perfectly, "Washu, what's this stuff made of?"

"Well, Xander, I took some pointers from those fan fiction sites you led me to in your world and I came up with this duster – it's made of normal woven cloth but between two lairs of said cloth is a really neat refractive compound I came up with years ago that not only disperses energy rounds from the wearer harmlessly, but it directs that energy into small condenser units I have built into the hem of the garment." She reached into a subspace pocket again and pulled out several large lumps of crystal, "Now, these are what were produced when Ryoko and Ayeka both went full-force on that very garment, and as you can probably guess, neither of them were sparing anything. Now, as I was saying, you get hit with an energy round, the energy is dispersed into the fabric and then into the condenser units, which will then produce these crystals at various intervals."

Xander plucked the gem out of her hand and held it up to the light, "Quartz?"

Washu snickered, "No! Kiddo that is a Solarian fire gem, reproduced by your jacket – the real deal is made in the core of the Solarian gas giant and mined, or they try and mine them. Most of the ones they get are flung out of the giant by the gas storms and generally punch holes in the sides of the mining snips that are there – gets a little hairy sometimes, but it's worth Yukonojo's weight in carrots to a cabbit."

Xander blanched at this and then took the duster off, "Alright, but what's this mean for my armor? How do I activate it?"

"Simple enough," Washu said, walking over and smiled. "Just yodel at the top of your lungs and you're all set." Crickets greeted her joke with their lonely calls, "Geez, tough room. Check your armor, towards you navel, and you'll find a button – heat sensitive, pressure sensitive, and coded to your DNA, so only you can activate it." With that, she took and step back as he found the button and pressed it.

He wasn't sure how to describe the feeling of his clothes vanishing, his armor segments expanding and reforming to their proper sizes and shapes, but in less than ten seconds he was in his armor and Washu was videotaping it all, "Huh? How…?"

Washu wolf-whistled at him, "I'll let ya watch, but you might want to wear something more than those boxers when you transform, honey, unless ya wanna make the boys feel very inferior and kill themselves." Even as she put the camcorder down, he blushed inside of his armor, "Now, don't worry – that only happens the first time, so from now on you should just go right into the armor, no problems."

"Should? And how do I get this to go back?"

"Same thing, only now you press the center stud on your belt." Washu went off to do her own thing for a few minutes while Xander reverted back to his normal clothes and armor, the process of which was exactly the opposite of the feeling he had felt beforehand with the armor going on – it was actually kinda cool to, one second, be looking at himself in a black duster and body armor and then to go into his Power Armor, but that feeling soon wore off as it hit him that this wasn't a game anymore, that there were no demons for him to slay, that he was going to, if necessary, lay down his life in order to protect Sasami. Even as this sunk in, his mind went back to when she had formally asked him to be her bodyguard…

(Flashback – 2 days previous, Jurian Royal Palace Gardens)

"You summoned me, Sam?" He walked up towards her at a stately pace, dressed in a pair of slacks, a white t-shirt and with one of his ritualistic Hawaiian shirts over it – already, he had heard, there was a rush to get out several patterns of it due to the fact that A) he had been seen hanging around the Second Crowned Princess almost all day and B) she had actually worn said shirt when lightly doused by Ryo-Ohki, who was playing in a near-by fountain, and that was seen by several people who wanted to get into her good graces. Apparently, Ayeka was horrified at the outcome, as she personally detested said shirts, but Ryoko was crowing at it, saying that 'we're finally going to get some style around here' – personally, Xander could have cared less.

She turned and smiled at him, as if completely at ease with the fact that he was under guard by a half-dozen of her mother's best body guards; despite the fact that he had his Battle Suit with him at all times, Queens Misaki and Funhao didn't want him to be harmed due to the fact that his Power Armor was in Washu's care while she did something to it, hence the bodyguards, "Thank you, gentlemen. Xander, follow me, please … alone."

They walked together for a few minutes in silence, a rare thing these days, given that someone was always calling Sasami for either a marriage proposal or to help reign in Dawn, who was fighting her coronation as a princess kicking a screaming. Finally, though, as they approached the center of the little garden, which was marked with a tiny sapling of a tree, Sasami spoke, "Do you know why I called you here, Xander?"

"Uh, no."

"As you well know, Tsunami's charged you with being my bodyguard, my protector, and her champion – that's fine, but to do it, you'd normally need to enter the military, as you well know."

"'Normally'? Do I detect the fact that you've thought of another way, Sasami?"

She looked up at him and smiled, a gesture that filled him with a surge of joy, yet it also held an odd note of sadness, "Yes – as Princess, I can appoint anyone I see fit to bodyguard." She turned to him fully and squared her shoulders, "Alexander Harris of Earth, do you accept this appointment to be my bodyguard? Do you agree to perform all services that said position would entail, which include taking orders from none other than myself, protecting my body from harm and to never leave my side when it serves your best interest of survival?"

Xander didn't miss a beat – he took a step back and sank to one knee, lowering his head and speaking seriously, "Second Princess Sasami of the Royal House of Jurai – I accept this charge, this appointment, willingly. My sword, as it was once said, is yours to command."

For several seconds Sasami said nothing, but Xander then felt a light touch on his shoulder that then moved up to his cheek, "Rise, Xander – we've got work to do."

(End Flashback)

"You alright, Xander?"

"Yes, Washu-chan," he answer blandly, ignoring the shot of adrenaline that shot through his system as he realized that's she'd snuck up on him, something that he couldn't let happen again. "Just thinking, that's all."

"Ah, okay, that explains why you've been looking in the mirror for over an hour, then." He looked up at her, first, and then down at his chronometer, which Washu had given him.

"Crap! Bye, Washu!" He'd promised to meet Sasami in her chambers in ten minutes, and her chambers were a good fifteen minutes away at a dead run.

_Why run when you can fly?_ Tsunami's voice sounded vaguely amused even as he transformed into his battle uniform on instinct and took to the sky, You need to be more on the ball if you're going to survive as both my champion and Sasami's bodyguard, Xander, let alone boot camp.

"Yes, Mistress Tsunami," Xander rasped semi-playfully in his best 'Igor' voice while he mentally berated himself for letting that simple solution get right past him. She was right – he'd have to be more on the ball to keep Sasami alive, if she were ever attacked.

_Stop berating yourself, Xander – it was a rookie mistake._

_One that Sasami may not have survived if she were in trouble, Tsunami. This is an entirely different ballgame here, and I need to get my head into it._

The Goddess Tree had no comeback for that, so she stayed silent as he cut through the air like a knife towards Sasami's room.

(Sasami's Room)

She smiled as Xander made his way towards her room and repressed a giggle as she watched him do his best to not crash and burn on his landing, something that he had been admittedly been working on since his arrival into their world nearly two weeks before. By no means were his actions graceful, but rather they were enough to keep himself and anyone else he was carrying from getting killed, and he was getting better with each landing, "Hi, Xander."

"Princess," Xander greets her, even as he transformed back to his clothes, which had taken on a radical new look, and a more pleasing one in Sasami's eyes. "What do you think? Is it me?" With that, he pushed a part on his armor and in a flash he was in his Power Armor, looking quite deadly and ready to protect her body from all forms of harm that he could (but sadly, not Royal training – that was one thing that not ever Xander could keep her out of).

"Very much so," she said with a grin, at which point he flashed back to his normal clothes and walked over to where she was seated, which was actually nothing more than a divan that she had commandeered from one of the halls because it was SO comfortable to sit on. "So, have you thought about what I've asked you to do?"

Xander nodded, "Yes, and I agree – I need to attend this boot camp to not only learn what kind of things I may be coming up against at some point or another, but to introduce me to some of the more exotic members of the Jurian Empire and it's allies." She could see it in his eyes, though, as he spoke again, "But how am I going to be able to protect you if I'm on some gods-forsaken planet halfway across the galaxy? And how am I getting there?"

"Well, for the first one, mom's lending me some of her guards," Sasami soothed some of his ruffled feathers, but then got up, her face drawing into a pensive frown, "but for the other one, we need to visit Washu – she's the scientist, I'm just the cute chef / princess."

"Well, it's not all that difficult, Sasami-chan," Washu said, popping out of nowhere as she always did, but this time dressed to the hilt as a professor. Sasami found herself and Xander both crammed into too-small desks as a ton of charts and Washu pointing at them.

"Now, with normal faster-than-light space travel, a bubble is created within the fabric of space and enters a realm known as sub-space before being propelled through said subspace at speeds beyond that of light. However, that takes far too much power for the average ship to generate, so the other way is to achieve a speed as near to FTL as possible and to then slow down while on course – in the space of hours you cover the same amount of distance as you would in days, as time itself is warped around you, and you get to where you are going without ever breaking the barrier of light. Everyone clear? GOOD!" With that, Washu flashed away and Sasami found herself sitting next to Xander, on the floor.

Silence reigned for a few moments before Xander spoke, "That wasn't as odd to me as it would have been a month ago, Sasami – am I wrong in thinking that?"

"No, you aren't – Washu's nothing if not unpredictable." Truth be told, Sasami wasn't surprised at all about the sudden intrusion of the 'Legendary Mad Scientist' – it had been, in fact, a Washu cue (1).

Xander nodded and got to his feet, helping her up as well, "Alright, so how long before I ship out to this boot camp?"

Sasami thought about it, "A few days yet, which is good – mom wants to talk to you." She saw him wince and smiled in a way that had a hint of a smirk, "Does she really scare you that much, Xander?"

He just whimpered and hung his head, which she found hilarious and laughed at.

(Later – Department of Military Affairs, office of Queens Misaki and Funhao)

"You rang, majesties?" Misaki smiled as Xander walked into the door and had an apprehensive look on his face, but then noticed his new armor … or rather, his old armor, in a new form. It was darker than what he normally wore, but no less effective in sending a slight chill down her spine.

"Yes, we did, Xander. Please, come in," her sister Queen said smoothly, not bothering to look up as she read over some reports from their (finally) clean desks. Honestly, every morning they showed up and there was a small mountain of overly tedious paperwork that they needed to go through before they got to the real work. Xander ghosted to the chairs in front of their desks and took up position behind one of them in an 'at ease' position. After a few moments, Funhao looked up, "How are you acclimating to our world, Xander?"

"Fairly well, ma'am – not having allergies to pollen helps," Xander stated with a slight smile that Misaki smiled at as well, but Funhao didn't, as she had been subject to horrible allergies when she had first come to Jurai. "Is there a problem, Majesties?"

"No, Xander," Misaki assured him quickly, "we're just making sure you're okay … and we want to ask you about your armor, well, rather, an aspect of it." She and Funhao had been intrigued by the possibilities of his Power Armor from the first time they had seen it but, sadly, he had told them 'no' each time they came to him with an offer for it outright. After some rather careful thinking, they had come up with a rather round-about way of getting it.

"We do not want all of your armor, Xander," her sister said to halt his protests, "all we want is to study your life support systems. From what we can get out of Little Washu, it is on a separate basis from our own … rather antiquated systems, and it could allow for better survival of our people in the field."

Xander closed his mouth and Misaki could see the wheels turning in his brain even as his eyes narrowed, "Oh? And what aspects of the life support system, precisely?"

"The energy shielding concept is rather nice, but I'd personally feel better if I had the filtering systems on my side," Funhao said somewhat blandly, but Misaki held back a wince – her sister was capable of many things, but putting something blandly and making it seem real wasn't one of them.

Xander's mouth curled into a slight grin, "Really? What if I told you that your newest generation of filtration systems was superior to my own?"

Misaki narrowed her eyes, "How would you know that?" The latest NBC (nuclear, biological and chemical) filter systems for personal use were still classified so much that only the two of them and the creator knew the exact specifications on them, so how did Xander know that?

"Because Washu tested them – she and I have spoken about letting some of the armor technology that is in my possession out and we've agreed on a few things." He reached into his pockets and removed several small slips of paper, "Now, on these slips of paper are several aspects of my armor, ranging from the shielding systems and computer to the armor's energy matrix design and Power Beam weapons systems themselves. Choose one."

Misaki looked over at Funhao, who looked rather shocked, proven by her dropped jaw, but she withheld a smile as she looked back at Xander, "Really? What's the catch?"

Xander gave her an almost perfect imitation of Sasami's own look of 'pure innocence', which didn't fool her for a second as she narrowed her eyes into her own 'mother' look, which he caved to in a few seconds, "Well, it depends on the system that you pick – first of all, this is a one-time deal, all the freebies you're getting from me, understood?" She nodded and figured that Funhao was doing the same thing off to her side, so Xander went on, "Now, while I have no personal compunction against giving you the armor itself, I'm not blind – your ruling party is filled with people who would use the armor itself for unspeakable things and, frankly, I have enough problems sleeping at night without adding that amount of guilt on top." His rather level tone told her that he wasn't kidding, that he knew that, eventually, one noble or another would get too far ahead of themselves and use the armor to attack and try and take over.

Misaki stopped looking at him and looked over at Funhao, who had a rather contemplative look on her face, "Well, sister? How do we choose this … freebie?"

"Carefully, sister; what else is there, Xander – you said 'first'."

Xander nodded, "That is correct – if you happen to pull the Power Beam, you're only going to get the technology to make it work, not the hardware or any of the specifics on anything else. When I think that you're ready, I'll tell you one way or another how you're doing, but not give you anything specific – it's the only fair way to keep this out of the wrong hands."

Misaki nodded at once, "And if we wanted to buy the others from you? If I recall, we offered you the Terra-level planet of Capsaicin, known galaxy-wide for its pungent spices and … lack of formal wear." Misaki held back a blush, remember the first time she had gone there and had been promptly told to strip out of her clothes, as they were worn only by prisoners. The Capsaicin people were not a 'normal' society and were quite free with both their wares and … personal favors, a thought that brought another, even deeper blush to Misaki's cheeks and an elbow from her sister to her ribs.

"Mind out of the gutter, sister," Funhao groused as Xander looked at her curiously, as if he wanted to know what the reason for her blush was. "Is there _**anything**_ we can offer you to consider selling us your armor, Xander?" Misaki held back a smirk at the amount of emphasis that her sister had put on 'anything'.

Xander didn't even bat an eyelash, "No, and I'll tell you why I'll never accept any offer you make – I let this armor and some of the technology out of my control, then your lives, Tenchi's life, and the entire Royal Family's lives will be in perpetual danger, if it were ever leaked to the wrong person or people. I hate to tell you, but on a whole, I trust your government about as far as I can throw 'the grand carrot'." Misaki smirked at the unofficial name of the GP ship 'Yukinojo' and with how cabbits across the galaxy were known to follow it unless firmly in the grip of their owner.

Funhao sighed a defeated sigh, "Fine – we'll choose." She turned to her and held up a fist, which she copied, and then they counted, "Jan, Ken, PON!"

Misaki smiled happily as she saw her rock beat her sister's scissors, and then turned to Xander, "Let's see paper number two, Xander – I feel lucky today." He handed her the appropriate piece of paper and she smiled before opening it, and that smile slipped away, "You're kidding."

Xander gave her a grin, "Nope."

"WASTE DISPOSAL!" She glared up at Xander, who wore a rather cheesy grin as his hand came out with another piece of paper, "This had better be a joke, or I'm putting on KP for a decade … without any help." She reached out and took the next piece of paper, what was written on it made her glare drop … as did her jaw, "Oh, Goddess…"

Misaki felt her sister take the paper from her slack fingers as her mind began to process what was on the paper; Xander spoke up at this point, "Good luck with the shielding systems, ladies – trust me, they sound good, but they are going to be a genuine pain in the ass to get to work correctly." With that said, Xander got up and walked out of their office.

"I do hope that Sasami takes him up before some other noble gets their hands on him, sister," Funhao stated mildly.

"Huh? Why?"

Her sister smiled at her, "Because it's been a LONG time since any man made you yell THAT loud, our husband included – he's talented, so say the least, unlike Asuza."

Misaki shot her sister a sour look, "Leave our husband's shortcomings out of this, sister – we have other things to argue about." With that, Misaki began to rifle through her files and find out who her best shield technicians were – they were about to have their biggest dreams and worst nightmares come and visit them.

(Elsewhere - Later)

"We should tell him, Tsunami, because if he finds out any other way, he's not going to be happy."

Tsunami looked back at Sasami, who had been looking into the mirror at the time, and she smiled sadly, nodding, "I know, but honestly I am not sure how to tell him that we're merging, and soon. Xander has never really taken bad news well, and this … I shudder to think how badly he'll take this." She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that her guardian and champion loved them both, though on vastly different levels – he saw Sasami as a beautiful young woman who would make some man very happy one day and as a 'little sister', much as he saw both Buffy and Willow (and, if forced to admit it, even the mad scientist Dawn), but she knew that Xander thought that she (Tsunami herself) was 'hot' and 'yummy', something that brought a blush to her cheeks at the mere thought of it. Of course, he loved Mihoshi and Kiyone as well, but he admitted to both of them and everyone that fact, which didn't faze either of the GP officers at all, "But rest assured we will tell him."

Sasami gave her an uncharacteristically dark look, "When? When I grow a foot and a half, put on two and a half cup sizes and my marks change? For Goddess' … your sake, Tsunami, we don't even know if I'll even exist after this!"

Thus the crux of their dilemma – neither she nor Sasami knew who would exist after their merging, and while neither were exactly thrilled about the fact that one of them had the distinct possibility of ceasing to exist, there was also the outside possibility that they would both cease to exist and a new personality would take their places, "I know, Sasami – I don't like it any more than you do." While she was several billion years old, Tsunami had only recently started to enjoy life, even if at first it was vicariously through Sasami and then with her interaction with Xander – she didn't WANT it to end, but she had no real say in the matter over it.

Their debate ended, though, as the doors to Sasami's room opened and Xander himself walked in, a slightly self-satisfied smile on his lips as he nearly-swaggered towards them, taking note of her reflection in the mirror without so much as a blink, "Ladies, good to see ya. How're tricks?"

"For kids," Tsunami said in time with Sasami, both of them starting to show some of Xander's own rather warped sense of humor. He gave them both a slightly startled look but that look soon passed as he walked over and planted first a kiss between Sasami's pigtails, an act that got a massive blush out of the princess and then he planted a kiss on her 'forehead', which was actually a mirror, which made her blush as well.

"So, are we ready for my informal going away party? I hear that Ryo-Ohki is even going to forego her carrots to attend in her new form, whatever that happens to be." She smiled slightly as Xander looked at the both of them, but stopped smiling as he frowned, "What's wrong?"

Sasami first looked at her, and then at Xander, who's hand as creeping towards a button on his armored vest, "It's nothing violent in nature, Xander but … we need to talk." With that, Sasami began to tell Xander the entire ordeal between them and the possibilities that were to come, an act that took all of three minutes – it was the next seven minutes of dead silence from the man in question that scared Tsunami more than she cared to admit, to anyone, ever. Her own connection with Xander often made her privy to his inner most thoughts and feelings, but as it stood, she couldn't feel ANYTHING from him outside of pure, numbing shock.

Finally, though she felt something, and not what she was expecting – she had anticipated him to blow up, to be so furious that even Ryoko at her worst would have paled in comparison, but instead she felt an overwhelming flood of pure sadness and heartache as he moved and sat down next to Sasami, pulling her into a hug. The Princess allowed him to do so, her pink eyes filling with tears, and for not the first time Tsunami bore witness to the pair of them crying their eyes out to each other, one clinging to the other for dear emotional stability and life, though this time it was Xander clinging to Sasami instead of the reverse. Tsunami watched the pair of them stay that way as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes turned into hours, the tears trickling to an end, eventually, and the wracking sobs slowing to a stop, but neither Xander nor Sasami letting go of the other – for not the first time, Tsunami cursed herself for allowing herself to feel what they could feel … and cherished the fact that she could feel what they could feel, as she felt the pair grow closer as the sun began it's descent into the sky and night fell upon the planet Jurai.

(1): Washu Cue - much like an Odie Cue from the cartoon Garfield, it's a statement that begs, no, DEMANDS that said individual make an appearance.

AN: Okay, enough with the glares – no, this is not going to become a Second Princess of Jurai Sasami / Alexander Harris fic, but I needed a good spot to end it on because, as of this posting, this fic is going on hiatus for a long while (honestly, it's probably going to be after summer before I get back to it). I have other fics to work on and, quite frankly, I'm out of ideas to work on this one, so if you could read and review this one, I'm going to take all comers and ideas and, hopefully, get more inspiration for this one while I next work on Of Family and Q 2. Thanks, and peace (and if you forgot, R&R) – Nick.


	15. Chapter 15

15?

AN: Okay, it's been the better part of a year since I touched this story and, I am sorry to say, it's time to start wrapping this one up. Well, I'd be sorry to say that if I had any clue just how I was going to pull that off – oh well, here's hoping that this jump-starts it.

Also, I know at the end of the last chapter (or one of the last ones), I said that this would not be a Xander/Sasami story – that has changed, a little, but she'll at least grow up first, if I do that. Now, on with the fic.

(Six months later)

"Stop fidgeting, Sasami," her mother admonished her without moving her lips as the troops of the graduating class all assumed ranks before them.

Sasami resisted the urge to glare at her mother as she searched the growing crowd of men and women for the familiar, yet absent, face of her friend and bodyguard, Xander. She had, at his request, remained hands-off in his training in that no letters or such had been allowed, and while one part of her mind understood that, most of it did not, and she wanted to see him again!

Finally, in the last squad to enter the field, she saw his face at the front of the trainee squad – he looked harder now, more disciplined, and with the way he looked in that uniform, she could understand why she heard both Kiyone and Mihoshi gasp just behind her and her mother, feeling the blonde's hands tighten a little on her seat back. Dark gray pants, black shoes, a matching gray uniform jacket with only a few accent points on the cuffs and neck, all topped off with beret, a new thing that had only been implemented several months before by her mother and aunt and against her father's wishes, and under that uniform…

Sasami blushed and discretely wiped the corners of her mouth as the Colonel in charge of the military training base took the podium and started the graduation speech. Sure, it was boring, but the fact that she could hear Tsunami in the back of her mind snickering at her reactions was not helping Sasami any, 'Would you stop that?'

'Why should I? Are you finally growing up and seeing males?'

If it were possible, Sasami would have glared the Tree Goddess into oblivion, 'He's my best friend, besides Ryo-ohki!'

Tsunami gave her a mentally arched eyebrow, 'So?'

Sasami growled a little, which got her a stern look from both her mother and her aunt, 'So what? He's Xander, my friend, nothing more.'

'You say that now,' Tsunami said with a mysterious tone in her voice, 'but that may not always be the case.' With that, the Tree Goddess slipped back into Sasami's subconscious.

Xander was right, Sasami realized – cryptic speak was annoying.

Behind Sasami, Mihoshi had her eyes locked on Xander's form and wondered exactly how much muscle he had put on while in basic training – he looked… well, not as good as Sasami's cooking, as that was a technical impossibility, but he came close. Still, he looked good, and she hoped that as soon as the graduation ceremony was over, they could get back to the Royal Palace on Jurai – things there were starting to get out of hand.

"Psst, partner," Kiyone whispered to her, "wipe the drool."

Mihoshi glared at her GP partner but quickly did check to see if there was drool – Kiyone, as of late, had become insufferable without Xander around to battle wits against. Honestly, could Kiyone have been any more obvious about her feelings for Xander? Well, yeah, she could, but Ryo-ohki refused to wear the sign around her neck. Still, Mihoshi had to admit, on some level it was cute… but if Kiyone thought that she'd get first crack at Xander before Mihoshi did, the teal-haired woman had another thing coming.

Kiyone, from her position on Sasami's other side, grinned at Mihoshi, who was glaring at her – yes, indeed, it was as fun to tease her about Xander as it was to tease Xander about… well, Xander was really easy to tease about a lot of things. Still, though, at least with Xander, when she teased him, he teased back and they could go on and on for hours before, finally, generally Sasami broke them up, telling them to get a room. More than once she had tried to take him up on that, but every time he had turned this cute color of red and stammered out some excuse or another, which had lead to either Mihoshi or Sasami coming to his aid, occasionally both. Still, why couldn't the Colonel just shut up and graduate the cadets? It was hot up on the stage…

Misaki smiled a little as the Colonel continued to drone on about the duty of the cadets, how they would be asked to lay down their lives, if necessary, in service of the Jurian Empire. Honestly, were they paying him by the word? It was hot on the stage, for Tsunami's sake! She just wanted to get back into the climate controlled ship and back to here grandbabies in the making.

"Stop smirking, sister," Funhao said with a light nudge, "you are scaring the troopers."

"I just want to get back to the Palace. Ryoko and Ayeka could give birth any time now."

Funhao rolled her eyes at her sister's antics, "They're only 4 months pregnant, Misaki – trust me, we have time, or don't you remember your own pregnancies?"

Misaki smiled, "Oh, yes, I do! All of those wonderful things to eat and drink. Asuza was so attentive to my needs."

'More like fearful for his life,' Funhao mentally amended as she only smiled at her sister. Honestly, how Asuza and she had survived her sister's pregnant tantrums, she wasn't sure, especially with the way she could hurl crockery at nearly supersonic speeds. If Ayeka and Ryoko were anywhere near that bad, maybe it was time for an extended vacation…

(Royal Palace)

Tenchi wanted to cry as he watched his wives glare daggers and hurl energy bolts at each other one second before, inexplicably, they started crying and hugging each other. He wasn't sure who was going to crack first – him or the royal treasury.

He jerked up as he felt a shiver of cold shoot down his spine – someone was going to run… how could he join them?

(Graduation Ceremony)

'Well, at least this time I don't have to destroy the school,' Xander idly thought as the newly-minted soldiers milled around with their families or friends even as he casually made his way towards the stage. Still, he had to admit, it felt good to have 'the easy part', as his drill instructors had put it so blithely, over, especially with the way this uniform fir him now.

He smiled as he saw both Kiyone and Mihoshi going back at forth at each other over something and the Queens both tolerating the Colonel as he tried to pawn off more of his people into positions of responsibility within the Royal Guard, but all of that paled to the blue-topped blur he saw screaming at him, "Oh hell."

"Xander!" Sasami slammed into his chest and knocked him back several steps as his arms went around her and hugged her close.

"Gah! Sasami Strength!" Xander's eyes crossed and he saw spots as Sasami hugged him – Jesus, like mother, like daughter. If she continued to get this strong as she got older, he was going to have to be careful.

Sasami pulled away, blushing a rosy read, "Sorry, Xander."

Misaki smiled as she saw the interplay between her daughter and Xander, but then noticed some of the looks and the size of the crowd that was building, "Children, let us go inside." Sasami nodded and dragged Xander inside of the building physically, Mihoshi and Kiyone not far behind the pair, and when they were inside Misaki turned to her sister Empress, "Well?"

Funhao smiled a little, "Oh, I'll admit that it is cute, but do you think that Alexander realizes?"

Misaki snorted, "Of course not. He's male." She then stopped and looked at the Colonel, "That will be all, Colonel." The man, who looked insulted, said nothing as he quickly left, "Now, Funhao, what do we do about this?"

"If it weren't for the fact that his honor wouldn't let him, I'd say tag him with a tracking device, sister," Funhao said with a well-hidden smirk. "The poor boy would most likely run away, if not for Sasami's having asked him to be her bodyguard."

Misaki snorted as they made their way towards the building the quartet had gone into, "He's not Tenchi, sister, and he won't run away that easily. Now, I wonder just how deep these feelings go with both Galaxy Police officers…"

Funhao sighed, knowing that Misaki's mind was already starting to plan a royal wedding of some kind. This was going to be expensive.

Inside of the building, Xander felt a shiver go up and down his spine even as both Mihoshi and Kiyone hugged him senseless – it wasn't apocalypse time, was it?

AN: Yes, I know, I'm taking cues from Cyclone – sue me, his writing is infecting me. Well, finally got back around to this one (thanks Paradigm, for the prods and near-pleading), and hope to finish it relatively soon. What do you think? As my link to the Xanderzone website is currently not working, the rest of this fic can be found on both Twisting the Hellmouth and Fanfiction . net. Reviews, please.


	16. Chapter 16

16

AN: At this point, Sasami is about 14, maybe 15.

Once the girls left him alone long enough to get changed into civvies again, Xander did so, though he did pause long enough to take a look in the mirror – he'd put on some bulk in the past few months, but more than anything he'd lost a lot of his baby fat. Of course, boot camp, where the days started off before daylight and ended just before dark, during which you walked, ran, climbed, swam, fought, thought, bluffed, shot and cussed more in six hours than most people did in a week.

His training class had started out with nearly 500 people from various worlds within the Jurian Empire, and while about fifty of the people had been dropped for medical reasons, the rest of them had toughed it out. Of course, the drill instructors had gone to great lengths to push them as far as they could be pushed before pushing just a little bit more, but that was expected – how else were civilians to be turned into the soldiers needed to keep the peace in the Empire?

Still, Xander surmised, things had gone just as well as he had feared – any non-Jurian had been treated as a second-class citizen and more had been demanded of them, but in a touch of delicious irony, the fifty whom had all quit had all been Jurian citizens. Still, Xander hadn't expected any kind of special treatment as he had not told anyone what his job was, though he had to admit that it had gotten a little lonely with only his own voice in his head.

'Aw, can't you just feel the love? I feel so missed."

Xander rolled his eyes, asking himself if it was a good or bad thing that the Goddess was starting to emulate his sense of humor, 'Hello, Tsunami, and yes, I did miss you.'

'Even all of the constant nagging, the occasional arguing, and even the times I laughed at you?'

Xander snorted, 'Yes, even all of that. Thank you for letting me do this on my own.'

'Think nothing of it, Xander,' Tsunami said before she shifted from his mind to the mirror he was looking into. "Still, I have to admit that you came through this better than I thought you would."

He shrugged and pulled on his heavy duster, the one that Washu had made as a 'stand by' mode for his armor, "It needed doing. I learned a lot, things I couldn't have learned from any of the books."

Tsunami smiled a little, but then quickly vanished back to the interior of his mind as he heard the door open to the communal bathroom, "Are you talking to yourssself, Harrisss?"

Xander turned and grinned at the speaker, "Didn't you know I was insane, Hisser?"

The speaker stood about six feet tall, was bald, had skin made of scales like those of a snake, and she was a mottled brown color. Her race were called the Ilkis, from a hot, dry planet near the outer edges of the Jurian Empire, and while her name was Hissoria, everyone called her 'Hisser', which annoyed the hell out of her. "Watch it, human, or we'll find if my bark is worsssse than my bite."

Hisser had become his best friend not long after Boot had started, and they had a grudging respect for each other, though it was more to the fact that Xander didn't want to see if her three-inch fangs could inject poisons into him like the race was reputed to, "I don't know, Hisser, I might like that."

The snake woman hissed in laughter, her forked tongue tasting the air slightly as she did, "You humansss, you're all in-ssssane." She then paused and tasted the air again, "New scentsss? Who are they? They are… familiar."

"My employer and two friends," Xander said evenly, if cryptically.

Hissoria arched a hairless brow ridge, "Employer? You are military, yesss?"

Xander shook his head, "No, actually I'm not." Hissoria gave a hiss of confusion and he went on as he made sure he had everything, "I'm a bodyguard for Princess Sasami, and for me to do the job right, I needed to come here and go through Basic to familiarize myself with weapons, tactics, and stuff like that."

Hissoria narrowed her eyes as she slid into a fighting stance, "Ssso, you lied to usss?"

Xander shrugged, getting ready for an attack, "What is a lie, except the absence of the complete truth? We all have our secrets, Hisser, and that's one of mine."

The serpentine woman hissed at him dangerously for several seconds before she stopped, straightened and nodded, "Underssstood."

Xander sighed, internally – crisis avoided, for now, "Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the Princess – something tells me I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do very soon." Hissoria arched an eyebrow and he shrugged, "In my experience with females, even if I tell them everything, they are going to want more, and if I don't give, they'll take."

'Oh, is that so?' Xander, under normal circumstances, would have probably missed the slightly irritated tone in the voice of a female who had asked the question, but as the only female who could speak to his mind happened to be a Goddess, thus able to really pound him, and she had said it in such a way that it sent ice down his spine, Xander didn't miss it.

'Um… I plead the Fifth?'

'You're in the middle of Jurian space, Xander – there IS no Fifth Amendment.'

'Damn.'

(Later)

"So, let me get this straight – I don't have to fear Dawn anymore?"

Sasami smiled as Xander asked the question for the tenth time, "Yes, Xander, you are safe from Dawn. She's set her sights on a young noble from a neighboring system and they are getting along very well."

Xander just nodded, "Has anyone given him 'the talk'?"

"He's had sexual education classes, Xander, I'm sure of it," Kiyone chipped in as she and Mihoshi walked into the room, now out of their GP uniforms and into civilian clothing.

Sasami saw the amused, yet irritated look in Xander's eyes as he snorted, "No, not THAT talk, Kiyone, I'm talking about THE TALK, the one that entails what will happens to him if Dawn's heart gets broken. Personally, I say death by shovel, it's a useful tool that lets you bludgeon, dismember and hide the body, though there is something to be said about subjecting him to Ayeka's or Ryoko's cooking."

It was Sasami's turn to snort as she scooted a little closer to Xander, "I thought that fell under the clauses of 'no torture' and 'cruel and unusual', Xander."

Xander put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side in a hug, a very familiar and friendly act that brought a blush to her cheeks but also got a snicker out of both of the GP officers, "Under normal circumstances, I'd say yes, but Dawn's kinda grown on me."

Seeing an opportunity that she couldn't pass us, Sasami asked, "Like a fungus?"

"Do not call your sister a 'fungus', Sasami," Misaki said as she entered the cabin, also having changed out of her formal robes and into something more casual. Sorta, anyway, in Xander's mind as she was still wearing the robes, but it was more along the lines of a nightgown now, with a bathrobe over it, or the Jurian version of it. "She just has a way of attaching to somebody and growing on them, something that she's gotten better at now that she's finally started to take to the Royal Training."

Sasami snorted, "She's already gone through four tutors in seven months, Mom, not even Ryoko or Ayeka went through THAT many at their worst."

Misaki snorted and plopped down on Xander's other side, "You're overstating things, daughter. Yes, both Ryoko and Ayeka did go through that many tutors, but not in that time span, and they both had some level of practical training where decorum was involved. Dawn, on the other hand, grew up in a rather rough-and-tumble sort of place and, well, has more than a few rough edges that need time and patience to polish off." With that, she wedged herself under Xander's other arm and looked at her daughter over the expanse of his chest, "You're right, it is comfortable under here."

Xander looked down at a blushing Sasami, "Telling tales out of school, Sam?"

She spun a little and looked up at him, an innocent look on her face, "Who, me?"

"Don't give me the innocent look, Sam, we both know you're as devious as your oldest sister and Ryoko combined, but also twice as clever."

Sasami blushed as the other ladies chuckled at that, "Well, okay, so I have been. Still, it's nice to snuggle on occasion, especially with Ryo-ohki with Ryoko all of the time."

"Why not ask Washu to make you your own cabbit?" They all looked up at Mihoshi, who was sipping her tea, "After all, she did create the first ones, right?"

Sasami nodded, "Yeah, but when I asked her about it, she said the carrot industry wouldn't survive, but she'd get back to me." She reached over and grabbed a pillow, putting it in Xander's lap before she laid her head down on it with a yawn, "Now quiet, mommy and I need our beauty sleep."

"Never," Xander proclaimed, remembering what he'd said about beauty sleep to Tsunami a while back. "You'll never need to sleep, you or your mother both."

Kiyone and Mihoshi snorted a little at the cheesy line, but Misaki squealed and hugged him for all of her considerable worth, "So CUTE!"

A muffled, "ACK," was all that was heard from Xander.

Misaki instantly loosened her grip on Xander, swearing that she'd heard a few things pop, "Sorry," before she gave him a lighter, friendlier hug. Honestly, how long did it take for someone to build up a resistance to her hugs? It had only taken her children a few years and her husband a decade…

Xander, from his position with his face pressed between Misaki's breasts, was feverishly wishing for death even as Tsunami laughed her ass off at him inside of his head. Life just really wasn't fair.

AN: Alright, another one in the can, in hopes that it's getting closer to the end of the story. Reviews, please.


	17. Chapter 17

17 of 17

AN: Been looking at this story for the better part of two months now, and getting precisely crap done, so I think I'm going to end it here with this chapter – you have been warned, I might miss a few plot holes, but I'm doing my best to keep this from being too painful.

(Two years later)

Things had quieted down, Xander noted even as he looked in the mirror at his tuxedo. Finally, after nearly two years of open revolt, the battles had finally stopped and the universe was getting back to what passed for normal.

It had started when Tenchi had assumed the throne, an open declaration of revolt from within the Empire that had spread like wildfire among the various planets and the peoples within them. After years of oppression from Asuza and the more iron-fisted of the Royal family (distant though they might have been), the people of the Jurian empire were not going to have any part of this new Emperor and had revolted. Within weeks the Empire was in shambles, with all but a very few core worlds belonging to the revolutionaries, and Tenchi had had his work cut out for him even as the people continued to cry for Asuza's head on a pike, but he'd sucked it up and Tenchi proved that he wasn't just a pretty face and a battleship full of luck. Planet by planet the remaining forces of Jurai had moved and reclaimed their lands, and with every planet not only did the body counts on both side skyrocket, but experience hard-won only by battle and sacrifice shaped Tenchi.

By the end of the first six months, the core worlds of the Empire were back under the control of Tenchi, but compared to what would come in the next eighteen months, they would be considered a cakewalk. Tenchi had to prove time and again that not only was he NOT the same breed as Asuza, but that he was an Emperor of the people, that he was going to change things, and this helped bring in the trust and resources of the planets and the people.

Of course, he had not done this alone – Ryoko and Ayeka, even while pregnant, had helped with the effort and had even taken control of situations that arose while Tenchi was busy elsewhere. The First Queen, Ayeka, was a thoughtful and decisive tactician that weighed her choices carefully before she attacked or defended, and with every victory she refortified the holdings of the Empire by doing what was necessary to gain the trust of the revolutionaries. The Second Queen, Ryoko, though, was different in that while she put in thought to her plans, she was a force to be reckoned with as she called upon old friends from her pirating days to bolster the occasionally waning forces of the Empire. She earned the respect of the people, the pirates and the soldiers, but more than that, she appeared to earn the respect of her sister Queen, even if that respect didn't register a great deal in their very vocal arguments.

In all of this, though, two little miracles had been born – Ryo, the child of Ryoko, had been born first and the little price was an odd mixture of his mother and his father. He played fast and loose with the rules when he could but he also had an air of innocence and likeability around him that seemed to draw any and everyone in towards him. It was no wonder to Xander that the little tyke was not only his protégé in the arts of pranking, but that Ryo had learned early on that his other solitary duty in life was to irritate his 'uncle Xander' by up and disappearing.

Achika, by and large, was the most darling thing you ever could think of meeting so long as you didn't cross her – she, apparently, had taken after her mother in her temperament and her father in looks, but when it came down to it, Xander knew she was a good kid. Sure, she had this stare that almost said 'I will KEEL you' ever since he'd helped change her first diaper, and even two years later she gave him that look, but generally she reserved her temperamental nature for her mother and father. Xander knew she was going to be a heartbreaker when she grew up, so he'd already started crafting a nice shovel that would be used to torment royalty and nobles for decades to come, as he wasn't going to let her even start dating until she was thirty.

A soft chime brought him out of his thoughts as he turned towards the door, "Enter." The door slid open and in walked Kiyone, wearing her formal uniform and holding a cane as she limped in, "Hey, Ki-chan."

The teal-haired woman smiled as she made her way over, a very faint whirring sound following her as she did, "Hey, Xander. Are you ready?"

He gave her a deadpan look, "I'm about to get married – what do you think?"

She gave him a smirk as her blue eyes twinkled in mirth, "We could run away and elope, you know."

He arched an eyebrow at her, "And risk pissing off Misaki, Funhao AND Sasami? I'm crazy, not stupid, babe."

Somewhere in the past two years Xander and Kiyone had come to an agreement of some kind, that they were friends, great friends, but not really in the realm of lovers, and this had been highlighted only two months before when an attack had taken off Kiyone's leg at the mid-thigh. Under normal circumstances, he would have found those responsible for the attack and started introducing them to their internal organs alphabetically, but a higher sense of duty had overridden these instincts and he'd taken the wounded officer to Washu for medical attention. The leg had not been salvageable, and while Washu offered to regrow it for the former Galaxy Police officer, but Kiyone had said no and opted for a cybernetic replacement instead. Xander had joked with her that she was tired of shaving her legs and was happy to get rid of one (a joke that she'd taken in kind and had laughed heartily at, but a joke that both Mihoshi and Sasami had not taken well and had smacked him in unison), but even though he knew it was her idea, he still mentally winced every time he heard the whine.

Kiyone walked up to him and hugged him, wincingly slightly as she did, "You're a good man, Xander Harris, and those two are lucky to get you."

He ran his hand on the outside of her cybernetic leg teasingly as he hugged her back, "You know, we can just as easily add you into this ceremony. They'd both love to have you."

Kiyone snorted and pulled away, "Those two may put on a good front, Xander, but they don't like sharing, you especially. Still," she went on with a grin, her eyes again twinkling with mirth, "if you play your cards right and ask them both VERY nicely, you might be able to get me as your very own concubine."

Xander shook his head quickly, "No. You'd never be a concubine, Kiyone, only a wife would do." He then sighed and reached back and scratched the long tail of hair that was bound at the base of his neck, "This is REALLY annoying. Why do I have to wear my hair long?"

"The price of royalty, they say," Kiyone teased him. "But if it's any consolation, I think you look pretty good in it." She then got serious and asked, "Are you ready?"

Xander took a breath and nodded, "I'm ready."

As they started walking towards the door to the ceremony, Kiyone shouted, "Dead man walking!" A second later, a meaty smack was heard and she paused in mid step, "Don't smack me on the ass unless you mean it, Xander."

Xander grinned at her for a moment and squared his shoulders, "We'll finish this some other time, Kiyone." With that, they walked into the hall and, with every step, Xander felt full-grown cabbits starting to brawl within his stomach.

(Elsewhere)

Sasami took another drink from the bottle in front of her and hoped that it would quell the feeling that she had in her stomach. As much as she liked attending weddings, the thought that she was about to go through her own wedding was scaring the unloving daylights out of her.

"Take it easy on that stuff, squirt," Ryoko said even as she changed Ryo's diaper on the other side of the room. "People might get the impression that you're nervous."

She shot the Second Queen a sour look, "I AM nervous, Ryoko."

The former space pirate snorted, "Trust me, Sasami, you'll do fine."

Two seats away Mihoshi, who was finishing her makeup, looked at her with a grin, "And if that doesn't help, remember that this is YOUR doing."

The look that Sasami shot her soon to be sister in marriage didn't bear thinking about, but the blonde WAS right – this was entirely her fault, as she had been the one to propose to Xander and to Mihoshi.

It had been almost ten months previous, just as the wars were starting to wind down, when the events that had lead to her proposing to Xander and Mihoshi had come to pass – they had, after several weeks of constant fighting, taken a system from the last of the fragmented revolutionaries and, in a moment of pure joy, she had opened up a case of old brandy that they had found some months before while salvaging stores from an old station. At first it had started as a victory toast, but soon after it had somehow mutated into her going shot for shot with Mihoshi even as Xander stared at his first, though half-finished, drink with a brooding look on his face. This, she remembered, had been confronted with her and Mihoshi saying that it was alright to have a drink, but he'd told them that if he started, he might not be able to stop – Mihoshi had told him that it was alright, that they all needed to unwind, so unwind they did.

Lost in the alcoholic fumes and jumbled memories she had kissed them both, kissing them until the point that oxygen started to become an issue, and while sprawled in their laps she had asked them both to marry her. Mihoshi had been the first to answer, raising the last bottle of brandy to her lips before saying yes and passing the bottle to Xander, who did the same, but of course none of them remembered this.

The only reason any of them knew any of this had happened, though, was because of a data transmission of the entire affair that had arrived the next day with a note on it, 'Watch me'. At that point, Sasami had not been wanting to watch anything but the inside of her eyelids, and even that hurt, but from her place between Xander and Mihoshi, she was able to instruct one of them to put it in and they all listened to the drunken proposals and acceptances.

Sasami smiled at the memory of both Xander and Mihoshi looking quiet ill as the implication of what they had heard (and apparently said and accepted) but Sasami couldn't stop smiling – yes, her infatuation with Xander was quiet well-known, in fact she had heard that there was a pool amongst the troops as to when she would pop the question (incidentally, she'd done so on a day that nobody had taken and the money had been given back to the troopers whom had been betting), but what many had not known was exactly how close she had gotten with Mihoshi. While not devoted lovers, it had been Mihoshi whom had given her her first kiss with another woman, drunken though it may have been, and it had been Mihoshi whom had pulled her off to the side a year earlier and had told her that if Xander was still alive and single at the end of the war, that she (Mihoshi) would rectify the part about him being single. This worried Sasami to no end until she remembered that a Jurian husband could have two wives and numerous concubines, legally, and this had set her mind at ease a little.

'It also doesn't hurt that you think she's gorgeous,' a voice in her mind said with a definite smirk.

Sasami repressed a sigh even as she realized that, yes, she and Tsunami might be one, but the goddess still had a separate essence and had spent FAR too much time around Xander for her liking. While reserved, the goddess could fire off a one-liner or a snark with an unerring accuracy that Sasami KNEW she could blame on Xander, but she didn't as it often made life just a little more bearable. 'Of course I think she's gorgeous. Xander and I both think so.'

'True, but you've been looking at some of those books that your mother left you a few weeks ago FAR too much to not have just a passing interest in her, Sasami.'

Sasami gave a mental sniff, 'Those books were simply ways to help royals get used to the fact that they will have two spouses and how to deal with them.'

'Riiiiight,' the goddess said with a drawled tone in her voice.

"Sasami? Are you ready?" She looked over at Ayeka, who was showing signs of her impending birth of the third royal child (often called the 'trifecta of the unholy terrors'), and nodded, "Very well, let us go."

Sasami stood and, after taking a moment to straighten her robes, she lowered her veil and looked at Mihoshi, "What do you think?" They were dressed in identical white robes, white veils, and had long trains that would probably get tripped over at least once or twice before they got to the alter, but all in all they were simple affairs in keeping with the simplistic wedding… even if planning it had taken close to nine months.

The soon-to-be-Sister-Wife stood and lowered her veil, "Fine… but I think I'm going to throw up. I'm so NERVOUS…"

Ryoko snorted as she redressed her son, "Don't worry, this is the easy part."

Mihoshi looked at the Queen hopefully, even if her veil hid it, "It is?"

"Yup. The hard part, though, comes later." Ryoko slid her hands over her son's ears and grinned, "Who gets to test drive him first for the wedding night."

From under their veils, both Sasami and Mihoshi blushed a bright, bright crimson even as Ayeka denounced her sister-wife for such bawdy remarks. Being married, a Queen and a mother had done a lot to mellow Ryoko out, but one thing that hadn't changed was her sense of humor.

(Later)

"… I now pronounce you husband, wife and wife. Alexander, you may kiss your brides."

She had to admit that, even as she watched this hallowed event, she couldn't help but feel a little gypped at being left out. Sure, she was technically there, given that the ceremony was happening under her branches, and yes, she was technically able to be in the minds of any or all of the trio, but still, it sucked. She was a goddess, but she still had to wait in line to congratulate the wedded couple.

Tsunami smiled as she watched Xander first kiss Sasami and then Mihoshi, feeling the three join in their souls and she even shivered slightly as she felt Mihoshi slip him a bit of tongue, but she also looked out at the small congregation of people whom had assembled.

First of all came Tenchi, Ryoko and Ayeka, all of whom looked proud of Sasami and her spouses, even if the two smallest of the brood, Ryo and Achika, both were asleep by this point, and she could feel that the third child growing within Ayeka was also happy. 'Hmm… I wonder if I should tell them that Ryoko's pregnant again? Nah, let Tenchi figure that one out himself…'

Next came Misaki and Funhao, both of whom were embracing and crying openly as the three were announced to the group. They had had a hard time since the war had started, especially when it had come to light everything that their husband, the late and unlamented Asuza, had done right under their noses, but they were getting along as well as they could. Asuza, though dead, was also there in spirit and while he never had approved to Xander, he could understand that his youngest was growing up and he accepted her choice. "Prick. I hope that heart attack you had hurt a lot.' Alright, she was a goddess, but she was still entitled to her opinions of people, living and deceased…

Finally her gaze settled on Kiyone, who was also crying, and Tsunami felt like crying too – damn it, why didn't she just say yes and be happy? She hated seeing someone who was so close to Sasami, Mihoshi and Xander be so miserable, and if she, as a goddess, had any pull, the teal-haired woman wasn't going to be miserable for long. Now, how to convince her…

Tsunami blinked for a moment and shivered as she felt someone join her, 'Sister.'

Tokimi nodded at her, 'Sister. It is time we ended this, once and for all.'

Tsunami sighed, 'Very well.' She held out her fist, 'Ready?'

Tokimi nodded and held out her own fist, 'I am.'

As one, they shook their hands, 'Paper, scissors, rock!'

AN: What, expecting something dramatic? They are sisters – short of a knock-down, drag-out, hair-pulling and cloth-ripping fight, this is the easy way to do things.

Yes, it's about damned time I finished this thing, and here it is. Reviews, please (and, sorry, no plans to write 'Suiting Up – The Wedding Night').


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